Release
by Crazy Chick 74
Summary: This story is very dark and will contain violence and scenes that may be difficult reading. Set after Kara returns from Caprica – oh and she never met Sam yay!
1. Chapter 1

**Release.**

**Summary - This story is very dark and will contain violence and scenes that may be difficult reading. **

**Set after Kara returns from Caprica – oh and she never met Sam (yay!)**

**Chapter 1**

She'd walked this route many times before. Was familiar with each of the corridors that she followed; but never before had she dreaded the destination quite as much. Each step was taking her closer and she'd never been as tempted to turn around and run the other way – and this was the first time in quite a while she was walking this journey of her own volition.

She paused for a moment before she walked the last few meters. She took a couple of deep breaths. 'I can do this, I can do this,' she said to herself. She walked up to the Marine at the entrance to the brig. "Corporal, stand down?" He complied. "Can you open the cell and then leave us alone for a couple of hours?" He nodded. "Thanks."

She waited until the Marine had left the room after following her instructions before she entered the room herself. She looked towards the cell that was now unlocked and saw him lying on the cot, facing away from her. He was almost in a fetal position, and she could feel the pain flowing from him in waves. She stepped into his cell and walked over to him. Even in sleep he looked distraught. She reached out to touch his face but something stopped her from actually doing it. He seemed too different to the man she'd left just a few weeks earlier, but she knew he'd been through a lot. She finally touched his face, and was pleased when he moved his face into her caress. "Lee, you need to wake up," he didn't move, so she repeated it again slightly louder. His eyes fluttered open but other than that he didn't move. Not even away from her hand… at least, not for a minute or so. Then he rolled over, away from her and further towards the wall.

"What do you want Kara? Come to gloat?" his tone was bitter.

"Do you think I'd do that? Really?" Despite everything she was hurt by his cool manner. He said nothing but had the decency to look a little ashamed.

"How are you?" It was a silly question – but she didn't really know what else to say; where to start.

"I've been better… I missed you."

"I missed you too. I wish I'd been here… here for you."

He rolled onto his back and looked at her. She returned his gaze and saw the depth of emotions in his eyes. He was hurting so much and she knew she was only going to make it worse. She had so much to tell him – and everything she was going to say was only going to add to the pain that was already showing in those beautiful blue eyes. She grasped his hand and gave it a small squeeze.

"Do you mean that?" his voice sounded so small, she could barely hear it.

"Of course." She nudged him with her hand. "Shift over…" He sat up and she sat next to him. They sat shoulder to shoulder. For a few minutes they just sat there – both caught up in their own thoughts. "What happened after I left, Lee? How did you end up here?"

"Surely they've told you… everybody knows about my mutiny by now."

"Yeah they told me – but I want to hear it from you. I want to know your side of the story."

"There's not much to tell really. You jumped away back to Caprica and I returned to Galactica. I was angry and worried. I went up to CIC and my father told me that you'd left at the request of the President. That she'd managed to convince you to leave us and to return to retrieve the Arrow of Apollo." Her hand slipped into his and again a small squeeze was exchanged.

"I'm sorry Lee. I was so angry at your father. Angry that he'd lie to us all. Even you and me. And the president was pretty convincing. She told me about the scriptures, about her dying of cancer and I believed her. I went to get the arrow because I thought it'd help us find Earth. I didn't do it to hurt you and I knew you probably wouldn't forgive me for what I did – but it was a chance I had to take."

"I do forgive you. My life's pretty messed up at the moment, but of that I'm certain. I was angry at first but I knew you had to have a good reason to do what you did."

Things were silent again for a couple of minutes. Kara started the conversation again. "So what happened after you got to CIC?"

"Dad had just finished talking to the president. He told Tigh and I what she'd done. He ordered her arrest – essentially ending her presidency. So Tigh and I were cleared to take a Raptor to Colonial One with some marines. But something happened on the way to the hangar bay. I began to realize that what we'd been told to do was wrong. That we shouldn't be arresting Roslin but should be seeing if what she said was true. That maybe the arrow would help us find Earth – what harm was there in giving it a chance? I think that part of the reason I changed my mind was because of you…"

"Me?"

"Yeah… I knew that you must've believed her story to have gone back to Caprica. It can't have been an easy decision for you to make. It can't have been easy for you to follow through with it. You must have seen some horrible things back on Caprica."

Kara changed the subject, "So once you realized it was a mistake – what did you do?" She knew the answer but it avoided answering his question.

"I pulled a gun on Tigh and held it to his head. The marines dragged me here and this is where I've been ever since."

"Has anyone been to see you? Have they said how long you're going to be here?"

"The only people I've seen have been the marines guarding this cell – and only then when they bring in my food. No one's spoken to me; in fact, they go out of their way to ensure they don't talk to me. So needless to say I've no idea how long I'm here for. Maybe until we get back to Earth…" He smiled slightly. His voice faltered slightly on his next statement. "Even my dad hasn't been to see me. He must hate me, be so disappointed with me."

Kara noticed the tears in his eyes and the look on his face brought tears to her eyes. She put her head on his shoulder and he put his arm around her shoulder. They sat there for a while in silence, taking comfort from each other. "There's something you need to know, Lee." He said nothing. "A lot happened after you were brought to the brig." Again no response. She stopped there… unable to start telling him. Unsure how to say it.

"Tell me, Kara. What is it that you're trying to say? Did something happen on Caprica?"

"Not much happened on Caprica… I found the arrow, killed one of the blonde Cylons, and found Helo. Nothing else to say about it really… that's not what I was trying to say though. A lot of things happened here on Galactica after you got put in the brig." She paused. "Boomer and Racetrack destroyed the basestar. When they got back they reported to CIC. Tigh had gone back there after your… after you were taken to the brig." She turned to face him – but looked down at his left hand which was in both of hers. "Boomer's a Cylon, Lee."

"What??" he was stunned. She didn't say anything. Just looked into his eyes. A comprehension came over his face. "What did she do?" Again his voice was very quiet.

"She grabbed her gun… she shot your dad, Lee. Twice. In the chest. That's why he hasn't been down to see you."

"Is he still alive?" She almost had to strain to hear him.

Her heart broke with those words. This time it was him grasping her hands. Trying to gain some strength from her – strength she willingly gave to him. "He's alive… just. Another basestar arrived while he was being taken to sickbay and the fleet had to jump away. There was a mix up with the jump co-ordinates and Galactica ended up separated from them. Cottle was over on Cloud Nine and so…" her voice trailed off. "He's unconscious now… has been since it happened." Tears slid down her face and even more fell when she saw the pain etched on Lee's face. She leaned forward and placed her lips on his. She hesitated, unsure of what she was doing, and yet it also seemed so right. Lee seemed just as confused for a few seconds and then his right hand came up and caressed her face, much in the same way as she had to his face earlier. Then he kissed her back. As the seconds passed, the kiss became more passionate. Both of them were sharing their pain and giving comfort to the other.

It was Lee that broke the kiss. He left his forehead resting against hers. His hand was still on her cheek and he wiped away her tears. "Don't cry, Kara, please."

"You are, too."

"We make a good pair don't we…?"

"Yes we do, Lee…" and with that one small sentence they both knew that everything between them had changed.

"Why didn't anyone tell me about my dad?"

"Tigh ordered them not to. I think that's the reason that no-one's been to see you. And why the marines say nothing to you. None of them wanted to lie to your face, Lee."

"I can't believe that he'd do that…" he suddenly went pale, "You don't think he's doing it because he knows my dad wouldn't want to see me, do you?"

Kara lifted his face so he was looking directly into her eyes. "Do not, ever, think that, Lee!" She stared into his eyes until she saw what she'd said had registered with him, "Tigh is doing this because he's stupid. Your dad would want to see you, Lee. Your dad loves you. He always has and he always will. You have to believe that?"

"I don't know Kara. My relationship with my father has been a little strained… ever since… well ever since Zac died." He looked away, avoiding looking at her. He knew he was treading on rocky ground.

"I know it has – but I know he loves you… more than anything."

"I wish I had as much confidence in that as you do." The conversation died off and the two of them sat and looked at each other. "So, if Tigh's ordered everyone not to talk to me – how come you're here?"

"You think I'm going to listen to Tigh? He can go screw himself," she paused, briefly. "Do you want to go and see your dad?"

"Yeah…"

Kara got up off the cot and held out her hand for him. Lee took it and followed her out of the brig. They walked down the corridors of Galactica, hand in hand. Kara could tell that Lee was nervous about seeing his dad. The closer they got to sickbay, the tighter his grip on her hand became. As they got to the entrance of Sickbay, Lee stopped. Kara turned to him and looked him in the eyes. "It'll be okay, Lee."

"I'm not sure I can do this…"

"He's your father, Lee. What's there to be scared of?"

"Losing him…" He looked down. "I don't think I can lose him… not now."

"You're not going to lose him, Lee. I won't let that happen and nor will anyone else on this ship. He means too much to everyone." A silence built up between them. "You should go in and see him now."

He didn't move any further towards his father. He stood shuffling from one foot to another. "Can you come with me?" He wouldn't look her in the eyes.

Kara could see the emotion in his eyes. "If you want me to be, I'll be there. Always." She turned and started to walk into Sickbay, pausing slightly to wait for him to follow her. They walked towards a bed in a corner of Sickbay. It was curtained off.

Lee took a deep breath before he moved the curtain to one side and walked in. He was taken aback by what he saw in front of him. There was a mass of machines surrounding the bed and all of them seemed to be attached to his father. His father. He was used to seeing his father as someone who was imposing, larger than life and always in control. Looking at him now, he seemed a much smaller man and the sight of him looking so fragile rocked Lee more than anything else.

Kara came up and stood beside him and slipped her hand back in his. She laced her fingers between his and gave a reassuring squeeze. "You should talk to him, Lee." She led him over to a chair beside the bed and pushed him to sit in it. He looked at her uncertainly. "I'm not going anywhere…" She moved her free hand to rest on his shoulder.

Lee spoke to his father for a short time. Not really saying much – just saying anything and hoping that he'd respond somehow. Just letting him know he was there. Unfortunately, he got no response.

"You should get some rest, Captain…" Cottle said as he walked in. "Your father's in a stable condition – he'll still be here when you get back. I'll let you know if his condition changes at all."

"He's right Lee. You can come back later. Let's go…"

"Ok. I'll be back in a few hours." Lee left the room, feeling dejected.

"I should check him over sometime soon as well, Lieutenant… the Colonel wouldn't let me do so earlier…"

"I'll get him to see you next time we're here. I promise." Kara replied. "I'd better go and make sure he is okay. I'll see you later." She walked quickly out of Sickbay and ran to catch Lee up. He appeared to be walking back to the brig. "Where are you going?"

"Back to the brig."

"But why?"

"Colonel Tigh hasn't released me… so I've got to go back there."

"You don't have to go back there, Lee. Come back to the Officer's quarters."

He looked down. "I can't go back there…" He walked away from her, moving quickly down the corridor back to the brig.

"Why not?" She was beginning to get angry with him, but she knew that losing her temper would do more harm than good. She ran to stand in front of him… right in his face, glaring at him.

"I don't want to see them." He stared at her. "What…? None of them came to see me. I'm pissed. I just want to be on my own." With that he stalked off and went back to the brig. Kara stood there watching him leave, her hands on her hips.

TBC

A/N: So there you have it. Here's another story on the go. Please review. Updates for the first few chapters of this story will be fairly quick but reviews will probably make them even faster!


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary - This story is very dark and will contain violence and scenes that may be difficult reading. **

**Set after Kara returns from Caprica – oh and she never met Sam (yay!)**

**Chapter 2**

Kara lay in her bunk thinking about the events of the last twenty four hours. She was worried about Lee. The way he'd acted on his way back to the brig seemed wrong. She knew there was something he wasn't telling her. She just needed to figure out what it was.

She couldn't sleep… 'Maybe a run will help,' she thought to herself. She got up and dressed quickly, grabbing some sweatpants and her hooded top; it was too cold to run in just her usual workout gear. She quietly opened the hatch to the bunkroom so she didn't wake anyone up.

She did a couple of stretches outside in the corridor in preparation for the run and then set off at a gentle pace. As she was running her mind drifted back to her earlier contemplation. She really couldn't work him out. The more she ran, the angrier she got. Suddenly she decided she was going to run a different route, she backtracked up the corridor that she'd just jogged down and began to run with more determination. She had a plan and she was going to get the outcome she wanted.

As she approached her destination calmness overtook her. She'd approach this in a non-Starbuck way. If she was going to find out what was wrong with Lee, she'd have to be more subtle.

She nodded to the Marine who was guarding the entrance to the cells and walked into the room. She saw Lee was in the same position as he'd been earlier and he looked no more rested or at peace than he had then either. She went back to the Marine and relinquished him of the keys to the cell. After unlocking the cell and returning the keys, she went into the cell and knelt by the cot. She leaned forward and kissed him softly on the temple. He mumbled in his sleep. He moved, mumbling some more. She realized he was having a nightmare. Suddenly he wasn't mumbling anymore and he was thrashing around. A stray arm caught her in the face and she was momentarily stunned. Still he didn't wake. She knew he needed to wake up – if he didn't he was going to do himself some serious harm.

"Lee, wake up." She shook his shoulders to try and rouse him. Finally, he stopped struggling and his eyes opened. He looked confused and was blinking in the harsh light. "Are you ok?" she asked him gently, running her fingers through his hair. "You were having a nightmare."

"I'm fine."

"Really?? You don't seem fine, Lee. What is it? What are you hiding from me?"

"Nothing." He shifted his eyes away from her, avidly avoiding her stare.

"Don't lie to me, Lee. I know you too well. There's something you're not telling me and I'm not leaving here until you do. So why don't you save us a lot of hassle and tell me what's going on?"

He rolled onto his back and moved his arm over his eyes, so he didn't have to see her looking at him. "I've been having strange dreams ever since I've been in here. Most nights. Sometimes more than once. They usually follow the same pattern though."

"And that is?"

"They're about you. It starts off with the fight we had just before you left to go back to Caprica and then you're in the Raider. You start to fire up the FTL drive, like you really did – but instead of jumping back to Caprica to retrieve the arrow, the Raider explodes. There's nothing I can do… I watch you die… and I know the last thing we did was fight each other. You died thinking I hated you."

"But I'm here now… you don't have to worry. I didn't die and I know you don't hate me, Lee. I don't hate you either. It's just a dream."

"But to have the same dream over and over again? It must mean something."

"All it means is that you're dreaming about me… which, I personally, think is a good thing." She smirked at him and winked.

A small smile graced his mouth. "So why are you here anyway?"

"I was worried about you… justified as it turns out. So is this why you wanted to come back here instead of quarters earlier?"

"Yeah. What happened to your face?"

"What… oh, umm, you caught me with your arm before I woke you up."

He brought the same arm up and brushed his thumb across her cheek, as if to wipe away the pain that he'd caused. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you." He pushed a strand of hair behind her ear. "I forgot to ask earlier, have they got the Raptors back from Kobol?"

"Yeah. Galactica jumped back to Kobol so they could locate the rest of the fleet. There was a battle with the Basestar but they were able to destroy it fairly easily, for a change. While they were working out where the rest of the fleet was, they sent a search and rescue team down to the surface and got the Raptor back. Cally, Seelix, Tyrol and Baltar were all okay. But Socinus, Crashdown and a Marine all died."

"You must be pleased."

"Well yes I'm pleased we managed to get them back. It's a shame that we lost so many people during the mission, but…"

Lee interrupted her. "That's not what I meant."

"So what did you mean?"

"The Vice President returned to the fleet safely."

"Don't start this again, Lee." Suddenly it seemed they were back at square one.

"Start what? I just thought you'd be pleased."

"Not especially."

"I owe you another apology as well."

"For what?"

"I'm sorry for what happened before you went to Caprica. I had no right to behave the way I did. That wasn't the way a CAG should be."

"Well, while we're at it, I should be apologizing as well. I wish I could take back what happened on Colonial night. It's not what I wanted to happen – but I had too much to drink and I made a mistake."

"Like I said… it's none of my business. If you want to have a relationship with Baltar, it's not my place to judge you."

"It's not Baltar I want a relationship with, Lee."

"It isn't?"

"No and he knows that now too."

"You've lost me."

"It wasn't the Vice President I was thinking about when I was with him. It was someone else. The person I really wanted to be with…" He didn't say anything. "It wasn't his name I called out at the wrong moment." Still silence. She took a deep breath. "It was your name. It was you I wanted to be with… imagined I was with. It's always been you, Lee. Obviously I know I'm not high up on the list of who you'd choose, but a girl can dream."

"Kara… shut up." His arm had been resting on her shoulder as she spoke, but at her last statement, his hand moved around her neck in a tender caress and he pulled her towards him. Their lips met in a gentle kiss. The heat built exponentially and their lips molded. Kara ran her tongue over his bottom lip and he opened his mouth, allowing their tongues to meet. The passion between them increased. Her arms rise to rest on his shoulders; her hands threading themselves through his hair.

They briefly broke apart and Lee dragged Kara to lie on the cot next to him. He placed featherlike kisses over her face and along her jaw. His right hand drifted down her arm and their fingers entwined. He moved his mouth to her ear, "I've dreamed about doing this for so long. I wanted to do this on Colonial night… but I got scared."

"Why were you scared, Lee?"

"I didn't want to get hurt… I didn't want to risk our friendship. I don't have many friends left… and I wasn't sure I was willing to lose one more." He gave her another kiss on the lips, which intensified just as all their previous ones had. "I'm willing to take the risk now… when you went back to Caprica, I realized how much you meant to me. I think actually that I realized that before you went, probably about the time I found out about you and Baltar."

"You were acting a little jealous…" A small grin graced her mouth.

"I know. I'm sorry."

"I kinda liked it. I realized that you liked me as much as I liked you – so it was a good thing really." She continued to smile up at him. "We should get some sleep. We can go back and see your dad in the morning. Cottle wants to check you out as well. Tigh wouldn't let him check you out earlier."

"Will you stay with me here?"

"Try and stop me. I'm going nowhere, Lee. Get used to it." They both lay down, and she scooted over so she could wrap her body around his, resting her head on his shoulder.

He kissed her softly on the forehead and ran his hand up and down her back. She heard his breathing deepen and felt him drifting away. She felt reassured that he was finally able to get some rest. She watched him sleep for a while and then gradually drifted to sleep as well.

****

A few hours later Kara woke. For the first time in a long while she felt completely at peace. She felt safe. She could feel Lee's body pressed against her back. His arms were wrapped around her. She was cocooned by his body… and it felt nice. It felt better than nice, and better than she had ever imagined it would. And she'd definitely been imagining it, for longer than she'd ever admit to. She didn't want to disturb Lee, so she continued to lie where she was. She noticed their hands were entwined again. She never thought either of them were the touchy feely types. Lee was famous for keeping all of his emotions hidden from everyone and she wasn't exactly demonstrative when it came to matters of the heart. If it was to show she was pissed off, then she was fine with showing those emotions… but anything to do with love then those feelings were shown to very few people. Somehow though it always seemed to be the Adama men that managed to see the true her – to break through the walls she put up. She felt closer to Lee at this moment than she ever had – not just in the physical sense but emotionally as well.

His arms tightened slightly around her waist. She could feel him smiling against her shoulder. "I could get used to this. This is definitely a good way to wake up."

"I could say the same. I hope you don't do this for all your pilots." The mood between them was light but the words being said were serious.

"Only the screw-ups." He said… echoing her words from just before she left for Caprica. "I'm serious, Kara."

"I know."

"Are we really going to do this? How many rules are we going to be breaking?"

"Yes, but you've become quite the rule breaker recently haven't you, Apollo? You may get in trouble but truly I think your dad will be fine with it." She turned her head and placed her lips on his. Again the passion between the two of them became intense. "We ought to go. You should go and see your dad again." They reluctantly pulled apart and then moved out of the cell. Again their hands found the others.

They walked into Sickbay together and over to the elder Adama's bedside. Again the sight of his father stunned Lee. He couldn't get over how weak his father looked. It was a strange sight for him to behold and it wasn't one he wanted to get used to seeing. They sat in silence, side by side. Lee took his father's hand in his. Kara put her hand over his, rubbing her thumb over his. He put his other hand on her knee and gradually moved it up her thigh. She felt the blood in her body begin to rush through her veins faster, pounding in her ears.

She gasped as his hand went just a little bit higher.

She could feel the intensity between the two of them increase and began to wish they were elsewhere so they could begin to explore this new aspect of their relationship. She knew it would be fiery between them. Like it always was. Just as she was about to suggest they go somewhere more private, they were interrupted.

"What in the name of the Gods are you doing here? You're supposed to be in the brig, Captain."

"Colonel Tigh, Lee has every right to see his father."

"I'm not so sure the Old Man would agree with that."

Lee blanched at that statement. Kara got to her feet and stared Tigh down. "That's crap and you know it. He'd think nothing of the sort."

"I'm not so sure. He wanted his son in the brig. He ordered it. He was disgusted with the behavior of his son. He wanted nothing to do with him. He's a disgrace to the Adama name."

"Why would you say such a thing?" Lee asked. His voice was a little shaky. It disgusted him that he could let Tigh get to him so easily. He was very aware of how close Kara was to him. He could feel the anger coming from her. He closed his eyes and looked down at the bed and the hands that were still holding his father's. He pulled his hand out and then placed it back over Kara's. He gave it a gentle squeeze. "I'd never willingly hurt my father, I followed my instincts. That's something he told me I should do that day. My instincts said that what we were about to do was wrong." His temperature began to rise.

"Yeah, well maybe your instincts were wrong. Anyway instincts aside, you disobeyed the orders of your direct superior and also the commander of the ship. You should be rotting in the brig. When your father has recovered, he can decide what's going to happen to you, but if it was down to me? You'd be discharged from the military."

"Yeah well, fortunately it's not down to you." Kara said. "Lee has a right to see his father. I know that, regardless of what happened before he got shot, the Commander would want his son, his only family, here. You've no right to keep him away from his father."

"I'm currently the senior officer in command of this ship. That means I do have a say in what happens on this ship. So it means I can do whatever I want."

"I should go." Lee admitted defeat. He knew there was no way the Colonel was going to let him continue to see his father. He turned to face Kara, "Stay with him and look after him for me. I'll see you later." He brushed his lips briefly against her cheek, looked at his father one last time and then turned and walked out of the room.

Seconds after he left, Cottle walked into the room. "I thought Captain Adama was in here."

"He left." Kara said. "The Colonel here, thinks he shouldn't be allowed to see his own father."

"I was to going to give him a quick check while he was here. Make sure he's okay; but it seems I'll have to try again later."

"I'll make sure he comes back later. When Sickbay is less busy." Kara said pointedly, looking at Tigh with a measure of disgust. "I'm going to check Lee is okay. I'll be back later, Doc." She hurried out of sickbay. Her concern for Lee was mounting as she ran down the corridor, not finding him anywhere. He'd only left a couple of minutes before her. He shouldn't have got that far. Unless he was moving very quickly… which meant he was upset. More than he'd let show in front of the Colonel… not that she blamed him for that. Tigh was an asshole… unfortunately one they seemed to be stuck with.

She looked in the brig and found he wasn't there and the Marine hadn't seen him either. There were very few places that Lee would go to. She swung by the bunkroom. She didn't think he'd be there as he'd been reluctant to go there the night before but she had to check anyway. He wasn't there. Nor was he in the rec room. That only really left two places and she was fairly sure he wouldn't be in CIC. She set off at a brisk run to the only place left. The hangar deck. Once she was there, she located Cally. She was standing with the Chief.

"Have either of you seen Lee?"

"He was here a few minutes ago." Cally said.

"Where'd he go?"

"Out in a Viper." The Chief said.

"You let him leave the ship? I thought there were instructions from Tigh, taking away his flight privileges?"

"He didn't exactly give us a choice. He seemed very upset. He said he needed to get off the ship and get away from everyone for a while. I didn't want to be the one to say no. It was probably wrong but, well he's been through enough recently with the Commander and everything. It was the least I could do. I'm not taking away his flying as well," Chief said.

Kara was happy. "Can you get a Viper ready for me? I'm just going out there to see if he's all right. We had a bit of a run in with the Colonel. He's stopped Lee from seeing the Old Man."

"That's harsh."

"That's Tigh. He basically told Lee he had no right to be called Adama. The frak!"

"I'll have a ship for you in five minutes." Tyrol said.

TBC

A/N: Thanks for the reviews I've received so far, I will respond to them when I get home tonight. Keep them coming - it's great to get feedback!

A/N2: This story will deviate slightly from canon - but elements of season 2 will appear.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary - This story is very dark and will contain violence and scenes that may be difficult reading. **

**Set after Kara returns from Caprica – oh and she never met Sam (yay!)**

**And now for an action chapter... (sorry its a bit short!)  
**

**Chapter 3**

Five minutes later, as promised, Kara was flying away from Galactica. She was grateful to the deck crew for getting her out in a Viper so quickly. Now she just had to find Lee. She was fairly sure he wouldn't be near the fleet. She decided to try and get him over the radio. "Apollo, Starbuck, can you hear me?" There was no answer. "Where are you Apollo?" Nothing. "Talk to me, Lee." She was quite a distance from the fleet by now; she just hoped she was flying in the right direction.

"Starbuck, Apollo. I'm fine. I thought I told you to stay with my father."

He sounded a little annoyed with her; which in turn annoyed her. This wasn't something she needed everyone else to be able to hear. "Galactica, Starbuck. Is that you Dee?"

"Yes, Starbuck. It's me."

"Can I have a private line to Apollo's Viper, please?"

"Go ahead, Starbuck."

"Apollo, Starbuck. I couldn't stay there any more. Tigh wasn't going to leave and if I didn't I was going to punch him. And then what help would I be to you or the Old Man?"

"He really pissed me off. I can't believe he said those things. I know I let my father down but I didn't mean to hurt him. I just knew we were making a mistake and if we'd done what he said, we would've completely split the fleet. And then what would have happened? If the fleet had split, I'd have been responsible for even more deaths than I already am. I couldn't live my life knowing it was my fault. We need to keep what's left of humanity together and to do that we need Laura Roslin."

"I know that, Lee. You should ignore Tigh. He's not your dad. If you told your father what you just told me, he'd understand. I know it. After all, he's put up with a screw-up like me for the last two years."

"You're not a screw-up, Kara."

"Yeah, right. Where are you, Lee? I still can't see you."

"I'm near Kobol."

She turned her plane towards the planet. "I'll be there in a few minutes." She carried on flying around the planet and then saw Lee's Viper. She flipped her Viper and flew close to his ship so she was inverted above him. She looked him in the face. He smiled at her. There was a sparkle in his eyes that she was pleased to see. She winked at him. "So, Captain, it's been a while since you flew one of these. Fancy trying out a few maneuvers?"

He chuckled quietly. "Sure, Lieutenant, why not? What do you want to try?"

"Just follow my lead."

"Okay." He watched as she flipped her Viper back over and flew next to him. As she continued to change the direction of her Viper, he repeated her maneuvers, doing exactly as she did. The two of them flying together was a sight to see and if anyone had been watching the two of them flying from the observation deck on board Galactica, they would've been spellbound. They completed trick after trick, barrel rolls, flips, spirals, you name it - they did it. After 30 minutes they were both wired, the adrenaline was running through both of their bodies. They decided to return to Galactica.

Just when they were about five minutes from home, shit happened. Twelve Cylon Raiders appeared on their DRADIS. "Galactica, Starbuck. We have 12 Raiders on DRADIS. We're going to intercept them before they get too close to the fleet but we could use some back-up."

"Starbuck, Galactica. We're sending the Alert fighters. Be advised, they'll be with you in just under six minutes. CAP is over the other side of the fleet – so you're in for a wait."

"Six minutes! It'll be over by then. Tell them to get their collective asses in gear." Kara shook her head as she closed the communication with Galactica. "It looks like it's just you and me, Lee."

"Let's get to it then. I've got your back."

"And I've got yours. Let's go kill some Cylons."

They both flew off to intercept the approaching Raiders. As soon as the Raiders saw them, they shifted onto an interception course. They'd obviously decided that getting rid of the two Vipers would be a good place to start. It was only two ships – they wouldn't take long to obliterate. Of course, they didn't know it was Starbuck and Apollo they were facing. While the number of Raiders was more than the two of them had faced in these circumstances before, they were up for the challenge. Apart from anything else, they were both still riding their earlier high.

As the distance between the opposing sides lessened, all of the ships started to fire at each other. The first victory was to Apollo. One of the Raiders exploded taking out another with debris. Not to be outdone, Starbuck was quick to set off some volleys, all of which connected with their targets. Another three Raiders were quickly destroyed by the Fleet's finest. Lee let out a cry of exhilaration; the adrenaline was surging through his body again.

It was now down to six Raiders against the two Vipers. The odds were improving. Two minutes had passed; it would still be a while before the alert fighters arrived. Kara and Lee were both being tailed by a Raider. They flew towards each other and at the last second both veered off. They'd performed this maneuver several times before, minutes earlier being one of those times, so despite being very close to hitting each other, both planes flew away unscathed. The Raiders that were behind them weren't so lucky. Both Lee and Kara were flying on instinct and knew each other so well. Their opponents weren't quite so attuned. That was two more gone.

Now four against two and there were just three minutes until their back-up came. The remaining Raiders seemed to have learnt from their comrades errors. They certainly were a lot harder to hit than the previous eight and their shots at the Vipers were increasing in accuracy. "Starbuck, there's one on your tail. I'll be there in ten."

"Okay." She fired off another shot at the Raider she had been trailing. A direct hit. As she watched the Raider veer off, she felt her Viper shake. It had been hit. It wasn't a fatal hit – but there was damage done. She looked at the controls in front of her. She seemed to be losing fuel from her right engine and the thrusters were feeling a bit sluggish. "Apollo, I've been hit. There's some damage to my right engine and thrusters."

"Okay. You okay? Sorry, was a little late on getting that last one. I'll just get these two and then we can see about getting us back home."

She watched through her canopy as he flew after the two remaining Raiders. There was little she could do apart from watch and try to keep control of her Viper. Suddenly there was only one Raider left. It fired off a few more shots. A couple of them seemed to make contact with Lee's Viper; but then it blew up. Shards of the ship were sent everywhere and several parts of it made contact with her Viper. More damage. She surveyed her plane and tried to ascertain how much had been done. It appeared to be flyable just – but only because it was her flying. One of her nuggets would be dead in the water. She looked at Lee's Viper. He hadn't fared much better. "Well that was fun. Can we go home now?" She said with a smile.

"That sounds a good plan to me – but I'm not sure how we're going to manage it. My ship's damaged. I've very little power and you said your ship took some hits as well. We may have to wait for the rescue party."

Suddenly out of nowhere a Raider appeared. It was the one Kara had hit before she took her initial damage. He fired off several rounds at both of them and then jumped away. "Frak!" Kara knew she was in trouble. "I think we're going to have to land on Kobol. I've sustained a lot of damage and I'm losing air pressure. How about you?"

"I've got a hole in my right wing. I agree with your assessment. Let's go."

"I think it's going to be a bumpy ride."

"Aren't they always?"

TBC

A/N: Thanks again for the reviews. I hope you enjoyed this chapter as much. Please let me know. :-)


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary - This story is very dark and will contain violence and scenes that may be difficult reading. **

**Set after Kara returns from Caprica – oh and she never met Sam (yay!)**

**Chapter 4**

He suddenly was aware of noise around him and a strange smell. He couldn't place it initially and then it came to him; Sickbay. Then he remembered what had happened. He'd been shot. By an officer he trusted and had put his faith in. He opened his eyes and realized he was looking at the ceiling of his ship. Then he realized he was alone. There was no one there sitting with him. He found this more upsetting than being shot by Sharon Valerii.

****

He suddenly was aware of noise around him and a strange smell. He couldn't place it initially and then it came to him; hot metal. Then he remembered what had happened. He and Kara had crashed on Kobol. Kara! He opened his eyes and… couldn't see much of anything. The cockpit controls in front of him were a mess. There was smoke streaming from them, hampering his view. He moved his arms up and tried to shove the canopy above his head out of the way. It must have been damaged during the crash. The front of it had been smashed. It wouldn't budge at all. Lee decided to try a different tack. He needed to get out of here quick and make sure Kara was okay and that she'd gotten out of her Viper. He took off his helmet and used it to smash through the already shattered screen. He worked at it, forcing bits out of his way until the hole was big enough for him to climb through. He clambered through the small gap and then slid down the wing of the plane.

Once he was on the ground, Captain Adama looked around. He knew her Viper had been fairly close to his when they'd entered the lower atmosphere of the planet… but they could still have crashed quite a distance from each other.

He noticed there was smoke some way off in the distance. That was probably where she was. The officer in him kicked in, knowing he needed to get there asap so he headed off in that direction, keeping an eye out for any Cylons that may still be on the surface of the planet. It was a good few kilometers before he was close enough to the smoke to know it was Kara's Viper. He ran the remaining distance until he got to it. Her plane had sustained a lot more damage from the crash than his had.

Apollo could see she hadn't got out of the cockpit yet and he climbed the wing to try and see if she needed his help. When he saw her, his heart was in his mouth. She didn't appear to be conscious. He had to use a little force in order to be able to slide the canopy back, but it wasn't anywhere near as badly damaged as his had been – the damage her plane had sustained was quite different to what his had. He reached into the cockpit and released the collar of her helmet. He gently lifted it off her head and threw it to one side. Using his right hand, he felt her neck for a pulse and was relieved to find one there. It was a little slower than he'd have liked but it was there.

"Kara, can you hear me?" She didn't say anything. She was definitely unconscious. Suddenly, Lee smelt something that made his heart freeze. Fuel. It must've been leaking from the plane. Had she mentioned she was losing fuel earlier? He couldn't remember. One thing was certain though, he needed to get her out as soon as possible because her Viper was about to blow.

Apollo reached into the cockpit and put his hands under her arms. He heaved and her body shifted slightly. By the time he had her half out of the cockpit, he was physically drained, but he carried on, determined to get her out. He felt ashamed with himself that he was struggling but he knew he'd ran a lot of the way from his plane and was now beginning to suffer the usual adrenaline plummet after a Cylon attack. Nevertheless he continued to half lift, half drag her out of the wreckage. Getting her the rest of the way out of the plane was much easier. He finally had momentum and gravity was working on his side too. He lifted her into his arms and carried her down the wing and away from the downed plane. They hadn't got more than a few hundred feet away before it exploded, forcing both of them to the ground with the impact of the blast.

Captain Adama quickly looked at Kara, trying to ascertain if she'd be alright. Her pulse was still there, and he thought it seemed a little stronger than it'd been last time he checked. "Kara, can you hear me?" He checked over the rest of her. She seemed to have no obvious injuries. Of course he only remembered the basics from the standard field medic training he'd received at the academy, but he was no doctor so he couldn't be definite. However he was all they had – so he'd have to do. Once done he checked himself over. Again there seemed to be no real injuries. They both had cuts and bruises and he was fairly sure they'd ache in the morning, but they'd both been incredibly lucky.

Lee sat next to her unconscious body and thought everything through for several minutes, trying to plan their next move. "Well if there are any Cylons still on this planet, they probably heard or saw that explosion; so we need to move. Find some shelter. And since you're determined to miss out on this party, I guess that means I'm going to have to carry your sorry ass." Lee smiled tenderly at her, brushing a strand of her hair behind her ear. "But don't worry; I'm never going to let you forget this. You'll be hearing about this for a long time." He placed a soft kiss on her lips and then got to his feet. He looked around to see if there was anywhere they could use for shelter. He saw some trees off in the distance and that seemed as good as any place to start. Very carefully, he picked her up in his arms and headed off in that direction.

****

Adama was pleased to see his XO come into sickbay. Saul walked up to the bed. "It's good to have you back with us, Sir." His relief was genuine. At times he'd never believed it would happen.

"It's good to be back, Saul. What have I missed?"

"Well, we managed to temporarily get separated from the fleet, a little confusion with not letting the rest of the fleet know the new emergency jump co-ordinates. We had to jump away because a second basestar had appeared near Kobol. We jumped back to Kobol so we could try and calculate where the fleet had gone. We destroyed the second basestar and rescued the downed Raptor from the surface and then jumped to the rest of the fleet. So now the fleet's all back together again. The president managed to convince me we should jump back to Kobol, so we're currently above the surface of the planet."

The look on Tigh's face conveyed more to Adama than his words managed to. He knew an uneasy truce had been called between the president and his XO. "I missed quite a lot then. Thanks for looking after my ship, Saul."

"It was my pleasure, Commander."

"Anything else I need to know?" Wondering when he'd get round to telling him about his son. He was curious as to why his son wasn't here. The fact he wasn't worried him a little as well.

"You should know Lieutenant Thrace came back from Caprica – with a couple of passengers." A look of disgust swept over Tigh's face, a level of disdain he couldn't keep hidden from his commanding officer.

"She's back?" How come she's not here? "Who was with her?"

"Lieutenant Agathon… and another copy of the Cylon that we know as Sharon Valerii. She's currently locked in the brig." His face once again showed his feelings for that… thing that was now incarcerated several decks lower. The loathing he felt was oozing from every pore. "According to the Major the Cylon's also apparently pregnant."

Adama felt lightheaded when he heard this. He couldn't begin to understand why Kara would bring another Sharon back from Caprica. He knew she would've known she was a Cylon. His mind turned back to his son. "What about Lee?"

"What do you want to know… Sir?" There was anger to his voice now.

"What happened with him after I got shot?"

"He was still locked in the brig. He still would be, if it wasn't for Thrace." His anger grew with each sentence that he spoke.

"Meaning…"

"I left him in detention, but as soon as Thrace returned she went down to the brig to see him… against my orders."

"Commander Adama, it's wonderful to see you looking better." Laura Roslin's voice interrupted their conversation. The Colonel turned to glare at her. He wasn't happy to see her. He didn't think she should be there.

Adama could sense the atmosphere in the room and sighed. He turned to his friend and trusted officer. "Colonel, maybe you should go back to CIC. There are things the president and I need to discuss."

"As you wish, sir." Saul Tigh reluctantly walked away from Bill, glaring at the president once more before leaving.

Laura walked over to the side of his bed and took a seat in the chair. "How are you feeling?"

He could see that she'd been worried about him. He wasn't sure how he felt about that. Somewhere deep inside, he liked it. "I've felt better but I understand I've also been in a lot worse condition in the last couple of weeks so I guess I should be grateful." Laura smiled. "I understand Kara returned from Caprica?"

"Yes she did." She paused and looked down at her hands. Raising her eyes to meet his, there was a small grin on her face. "I guess we need to discuss the matter of me asking her to go back to Caprica don't we?"

"I think we should. It's not healthy for the fleet if we're not talking to each other."

"I'm sorry for going behind your back and getting one of your officers, someone close to you, to disobey your orders. However, I don't regret my decision to get someone to go back to Caprica. I know that's probably not what you want to hear but I believe the scriptures." She paused again and took a deep breath. She needed to tell him the truth; about why she believed so much. "I've got cancer, Commander. It's terminal, because of this I believe I'm the dying leader mentioned in the Scrolls of Pythia and we need the Arrow of Apollo in order to locate Earth. And we can do that on Kobol. I've had visions that have shown me this."

He absorbed her words and thought about what she'd just told him. "If something like this was to happen again in the future, would you still do what you did?"

"It would definitely be what I'd want to do, but I think I'd maybe handle it slightly differently. I don't want to fight with you, Bill. I respect you as a person and as a leader, but sometimes you can be very pigheaded and discussing things with you can be like hitting my head against a brick wall." She now had a large grin on her face that she was failing to hide, try as she might.

He grinned back at her, admitting her words about him were true. "Noted. I'll bear that in mind in the future as well." He decided it was time for him to admit something to her as well. "If I'm being completely honest, it wasn't so much what you did that pissed me off, more the fact it was Kara you asked. I shouldn't have sent the marines over to arrest you… although I'm guessing they never did make it over to Colonial One?"

"No they didn't. I think they would've done, if it hadn't been that Galactica got separated from the rest of the fleet. That couldn't have happened at a worse time as far as you were concerned. It was minutes after you'd been shot and the Doctor wasn't on Galactica. It was several hours before the fleet was reunited. That didn't improve your condition."

"Before you came in Tigh was just starting to tell me about Lee. Maybe you can tell me what went on?"

"What has he told you?"

"That he left Lee in the brig but Kara went to see him, against orders, when she got back from Caprica."

"He did leave Lee in the brig. Kara went to see him because she was concerned about him."

"Concerned about him?"

"The Colonel obviously didn't tell you everything that went on concerning your son." She paused unsure how to tell this man about what his closest friend had put his son through. She continued when the man in front of her nodded at her. "Lee was pretty much kept in solitary confinement for the two weeks after he was placed in the brig. Until Kara got back. The Colonel ordered that nobody on the ship was to speak to Lee and revoked his flight status. He didn't even know about you. Didn't know you'd been shot. Nothing. I tried to come over here, to get some excuse to go and see him so that I could tell him, but I wasn't allowed aboard unless it was for my medical appointments and even then I was always under Marine guard so unable to see him." She paused, sympathy for the man in front of her making her stop. This was possibly worse than approaching Lieutenant Thrace behind his back, and it was only going to get worse. "Doctor Cottle also put in many requests to check on Captain Apollo as well, but was refused each time by Colonel Tigh."

"Why would he refuse? It's basic human rights that he should be entitled to medical treatment."

"I can't answer that I'm afraid, Commander. There was a lot going on at the time so I suppose he was a little distracted. Mainly I think it's because he was angry with Lee. Angry that Lee held a gun to his head and disobeyed a direct order."

"And when Kara returned?"

"Well, she ignored his orders and went to see Lee. She told him everything that had happened and told him about you. Then she brought him here to see you."

His hopes lifted at her words, followed quickly by confusion. "He came to see me? Why isn't he here now?"

"Two reasons. Firstly, the next day when they came to see you again, the Colonel also showed up. He had a go at Lee. Said some horrible things to him and pretty much banned him from seeing you, so Lee left sickbay. Much to the Cottle's chagrin, as he still hadn't had a chance to check him over. Kara and Tigh had an argument and Kara went after Lee."

"What's the second reason?"

"When Lee left here, he went to the hangar deck and somehow managed to convince the deck crew to let him take a Viper out. He said he needed to get away from everyone for a while. Kara went out after him. They disappeared off DRADIS for some time. Just as they were coming back to Galactica, twelve Cylon Raiders appeared. Kara and Lee went to intercept them. The CAP was on the other side of the fleet and the alert fighters were six minutes away, so there was only them."

"Are they okay?" His concern rose once more.

"Dee told Billy that they destroyed all of the Raiders between the two of them, with some amazing flying apparently. By the time the alert fighters arrived on the scene, there was no sign of them or the Raiders. It's been assumed they must've had to land on Kobol for some reason."

"Has a S&R team been sent out?"

"Not to my knowledge." She hated admitting it to him, but he needed to know everything that had happened.

"What?!" He couldn't believe what he was hearing.

"Tigh won't allow it. I've tried to get him to send one out… but he won't listen to me. It's a military matter, and not my concern. I'm really sorry. I tried my best… but there's no talking to him about it."

"Well there must be something wrong with one or both of them if no one's heard anything from them. Something must've happened to their Vipers or they would've returned to Galactica." He began to sit up and tried to get out of his bed, regardless of his injuries. "I need to get out of here. I need to organize a team to go and find them. I need to find them."

Laura rose to her feet and made her way over to his side, placing a hand on his. She could tell he was getting upset, and didn't think it was a very good idea. She knew it would seriously annoy Cottle, if nothing else. "Commander, you're staying here. You're too ill to leave at the moment. You're still recovering from heart surgery. I'm fairly sure there are plenty of officers on this ship that would be willing to help. Nobody was particularly happy about the way Lee was treated by Colonel Tigh. I think you need to talk to him. Maybe you should order him to send a rescue team down to the planet. We should also consider what we want to do about finding the tomb of Athena. Kara brought the arrow back from Caprica… we should use it to try and find Earth."

"Lee and Kara are the only things that are important to me at the moment."

"I know that Bill. We could use it as a cover story to what we're planning though. Maybe have one team try to find the arrow while the rest of them search for Lee and Kara."

"We??" He was surprised by her choice of words.

"We're in this together, Bill. Lee and Kara are very important to the fleet and to you… therefore they're important to me. Anyway I owe both of them an apology."

"Why?"

"It's my fault Kara went back to Caprica; because I asked her to, it affected both Lee's and your relationship with her and ended up with Lee in the brig. I feel I should apologize for my actions."

"Okay. It sounds like I need to talk to Saul. Can you get one of the nurses to ask him to come back down to sickbay?" Laura left the room and went to find a nurse.

TBC

A/N: I'm so glad for the positive feedback I've been receiving - it really helps to know people are enjoying something I've written. Please continue...


	5. Chapter 5

****

**Summary - This story is very dark and will contain violence and scenes that may be difficult reading. **

**Set after Kara returns from Caprica – oh and she never met Sam (yay!)**

**Chapter 5**

Once Lee reached the trees he placed Kara on the ground and sat down to get some rest. He surveyed their surroundings, always keeping an eye open for any Cylons. There didn't seem to be any though. He spotted some mountains that were a little further away from them. That could be a better place for them to hide. They'd have a better view of their surroundings and may be able to get better cover from them too. He looked at Kara again; thinking back over the events of the last couple of days. About the changes that had occurred to the relationship between the two of them. When he put his hand on her neck to check her pulse, she stirred slightly. He was pleased; she must be regaining consciousness, so her injuries may not have been too severe. She didn't move anymore. 'Time to resort to more drastic measures' he thought with a smile. He leant forward and kissed her. Just briefly, but he continued to trail kisses along her jaw line and then down her neck. She stirred again. He continued to kiss her on the neck. He ran his hand through her hair. "Kara…" He pulled his head back and looked at her face. He found two hazel eyes looking into his; a small smile on her face.

"Lee… what happened?"

"We both landed with a bit of a bump. I managed to get you out of your Viper and carried you here. I was just checking to make sure you were okay."

"That's what you're calling it, is it?" She said; a definite smirk on her face.

"For now, yes." He smirked back at her. Suddenly he became serious again. "We should get going. There are some mountains over there; I thought we could use them as shelter. They'll also give us a good vantage point so we'll be able to see anyone that approaches."

"Let's go then."

They both got up. Kara swayed slightly and closed her eyes. "Are you going to be okay?" Lee asked.

"Don't start, Lee. I'm a big girl."

"Tell me about it. I hauled your sorry ass all the way here."

"Lee!!" She smacked him on the arm.

"Sorry. Couldn't resist…" The smirk was back. He swooped and planted another kiss on her lips. "Anyway, I like your sorry ass… so there's nothing for you to worry about."

She changed the subject, feeling her embarrassment rise. "Let's get going. It looks like it's going to start raining and I don't particularly want to get wet." They set off at a brisk pace, walking side by side. It didn't take them long to get to the bottom of the mountains that Lee had spotted. Kara was right, the weather was deteriorating. A definite storm was brewing. They found a steep path that they climbed so they could get to higher ground. When they were about halfway up, it started to rain slightly. By the time they got to the top, it was pouring with rain and they were soaked through. Kara grabbed Lee's hand, dragging him behind her as she moved towards something she had spied that meant they could get out of the rain. A cave.

He walked into the cave in front of her. His weapon drawn. There was nothing in the cave. The entrance was big enough that there was some light in there, so they could see without any artificial light. The cave wasn't that big, but it at least gave them some shelter from the weather. For the moment they were safe. "We really shouldn't be in here. We should be keeping watch, in case there are Cylons out there." He was feeling restless after everything that had happened.

"Something tells me the blonde Cylon won't want to get her hair wet! We'll be fine for a while. Anyway, we should get some rest."

"I can't; I'm still too keyed up from earlier." He was pacing around the cave.

"Stop pacing, Lee. There's not enough room in here for that. Sit down." She was surprisingly calm; it was unusual for her.

"I told you, I can't…"

"Come here, Lee." He spun round to face her. She stepped forward placing her hand on his chest. "I guess we're going to have to think of a way that you can work off that excess energy then, aren't we?" She looked into his eyes. She was sure she could see the desire welling up in them. They'd become a deep azure blue. Despite the fact they were both in soaking wet clothes, the temperature between them had risen.

"Are you saying what I think you're saying, Kara?"

"What do you think I'm saying?"

"That we should frak each other."

"That's not what I was suggesting." She almost laughed at the look of disappointment on his face. "I was thinking of something more along the lines of making love… but if you want a simple frak then I guess we could do that." She tried to appear nonchalant; hoping she didn't appear too eager.

"I'm not interested in a simple frak, Kara. I never have been. And not that long ago, you were unconscious; now's probably not the best time." He wanted to make sure she wanted to do this.

A look of doubt crossed her face and her hand dropped from his body. "So, you don't want to make love?" The phrase came out sounding a lot weaker than she'd intended. She felt incredibly vulnerable. She wished she knew what Lee was thinking. He didn't answer. Her heart grew heavy, she'd misread the situation. She always ended up making a fool of herself.

He didn't answer her. His heart was racing. It wasn't that he didn't want to; he didn't know what to say that could convey how he felt. The words she'd just spoken had been words he'd wanted her to say for such a very long time. He would've settled for a simple frak, but he was right when he'd said moments earlier that wasn't what he wanted. He wanted so much more than that. His answer to her question was an obvious one; if she had been looking, she would have noticed her words had an obvious effect on a certain part of his anatomy. He was still concerned whether she really wanted to do this though. He edged a little closer to her. He was standing directly in front of her; but not quite touching her.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have suggested it. It was a stupid idea." She backtracked quickly. The pain she was feeling clearly visible both on her face and in the way she was standing.

He saw in her eyes what was going through her mind. She wanted to, she wanted him. "Kara…" The word was strained and he reached for her hand with his own. "Come here." He pulled her against him. "I can't think of anything I want to do more." He said to her in almost a whisper; then his mouth descended on hers. The first few minutes passed with them kissing. There was such intensity to their kiss; neither of them had experienced anything as forceful with any other person.

She moved her arms up his body and around to caress his back. She could feel the muscles moving beneath his clothes and the fire within her body increased. She groaned as his hand made its way up her body, stopping at her chest. She lifted her right leg and wrapped it around his lower leg, pulling him even closer to her body. Working her hands around to the front of his body she lowered the zip of his flight suit a small distance. He paused mid-kiss. His own hands came up to his flight suit and dragged it down as far as it would go. She helped him open it and move it past his shoulders, struggling to get it over the muscles in his upper arms. The top half of his suit then hung at his waist, leaving him wearing his regulation tanks. His hands moved to her flight suit and repeated the same actions with hers.

They went back to their kiss. While they were doing so, they both toed off their boots. Lee's hands returned to her hair, he removed the band that was holding it up, and ran his fingers through it. Again he caressed her face and then his hand moved back down to her breasts. One thumb grazed a nipple and she moaned in response. Then his hand was gone and both of his hands were now making their way to the flight suit that was hanging at her waist. He undid the belt at her waist, with a certain amount of ease; then he was slipping the suit past her hips and down to the floor. She stepped a foot out of each leg and kicked it to one side.

She went to return the favor, but she couldn't get her fingers to work on his belt. He smiled against her mouth and a chuckle rumbled in his chest. His hands went to hers and stopped them in their tracks, then undid his belt and let his hands drop to his sides. He was willing to help, but he knew she wanted to explore and who was he to refuse her that. She slowly slid her hands into the waistband of the flight suit and used them to edge it down his body. The muscles in his legs twitched as her hands moved down them. His breath hitched as the suit caught his erection as it moved down. Their kiss broke again and they stared into each others eyes.

"You're so beautiful, Kara. The most beautiful woman I've ever known." He could tell she didn't believe him. He would have to prove it to her, make her believe him. He touched her hip gently with his hand moving it up her body. He slowly slid it under her tanks and caressed her back. His other hand joined his first and moved her tanks up further to expose her stomach. He gracefully moved the shirts further up her body. He took a sharp breath in as he realized she wasn't wearing a bra beneath them. She raised her arms above her head as he removed them from her. He then took his time to look her up and down. She was perfect. He kissed her again. His hands, which now had free access to her, roamed her back and shoulders, down her arms and to her stomach. Smoothly flowing over her stomach, the muscles contracting slightly at his touch, his hands went higher still until they found the curves of her breasts. His fingers grazed the side of each breast, the skin was smooth and soft to the touch. His hands then cupped a breast each and gently kneaded them. He was forcing himself not to go too fast. He wanted to take his time with her. To show her how much he cared for her, how much she meant to him. They could go hard and fast another time. He prayed for a moment there would be another time. Now was about paying her as much attention as he could.

She groaned again, in pleasure. She rested her head on his shoulder and he continued the exploration of her body. He moved them both to the center of the cave. Separating from her for a few minutes, he quickly removed the rest of his suit from around his knees. He then returned to her. She'd grabbed her suit from the other side of the cave and took his from his hands. She placed them both on the floor and then lowered her body to sit on them. She looked up at him coyly and regarded him standing in front of her. He was a perfect specimen of a man. He certainly lived up to his call sign. There wasn't one thing about the man that wasn't beautiful, from his chiseled jaw, his muscular arms, perfect abs… to the not so well hidden part of his anatomy that was just below. She kept her eyes fixed to that spot for slightly longer than she should've done. She raised her eyes to his face once more. He was staring at her, with an inscrutable look on his face. She gasped when she saw his eyes. She'd never seen them that blue before. It was overpowering. She couldn't understand why he'd want to be with her but she was willing to take the opportunity she'd been given. She held her hand out towards him.

He moved down to her; sitting beside her. His hand instinctively moving up again to caress her face. "Like something you see?"

"Mmm." She looked him in the eye, and smiled impishly at him. "Apollo's arrow…" She moved her hand to his thigh and then inched it slightly higher. Lee sat very still, waiting to see what she'd do. She kissed his lips and then moved them to his jaw. Down to his neck and then his shoulder. Pushing his body backwards she forced him to lie down. He lay there passively, watching as she moved her lips down his body. When her mouth closed over his nipples his breath hitched. The hand in his lap inched higher still. It came to rest upon his erection, gently gripping him.

She was driving him wild, she could tell by the way his muscles jumped and froze beneath her. She could feel his heart pounding in his chest and it gave her some satisfaction that it was her that put him in this state. His reactions to what she was doing to him were having a similar effect on her. Her body wanted him and was ready for him, her senses were overwhelming her. She laved his nipple once again with her tongue and then gave it a small nip with her teeth. She moved to the other and gave it the same treatment before straddling his hips, grinding her pelvis against his.

He couldn't remain passive any longer. Her moving to sit on top of him was too much. He moved his hand to her face and lifted her chin from his chest. He raised his body and pulled her face towards his. His other hand moved to cup her bottom and pulled her further up his body. They both groaned as their arousal mounted. He moved his hand again, slipping it inside her regulation underwear. She dropped her hand to encircle him, it swelled further in her hand. She longed to feel it within her body, but she knew they needed to take this slowly. There was no need to rush this. They had plenty of time.

His hand moved to touch her. He could feel how ready and wet she was, masculine pride flared in his gut. He felt her move her hand from his cock and he felt emptier for it. He kissed her neck at the point it met her shoulder, feeling her pulse beneath his tongue as he licked it. She took him back in her hand, running her thumb over the tip. "Up." He whispered into her ear.

His blue eyes met hers. They were burning brightly with such intensity it threw her momentarily. "What?"

He got to his feet and pulled her up, making short work of removing the final barrier between them. They stood and looked at each other, then moved back into each other's arms. "I need you, Lee. Now." She said quietly, but with urgency in her voice.

His hand made its way back to the juncture between her legs. She arched with need, she was beyond ready for him. He stroked her with one finger, letting it slide smoothly into her. She pushed her hips down onto his hand, wrapping one of her legs around his thighs, opening herself further to him. He slipped another finger into her, bending them slightly, hitting her sensitive spot. She tightened around his fingers, clenching them. He supported her as her leg buckled slightly beneath her. She reached her peak seconds after his thumb rubbed her clit. She cried out his name as she came then molded herself against his body, laying her head on his shoulder. He moved so that he was now kneeling on the floor, with her still on his lap. "Kara…"

She had raised her head from his shoulder and stopped to nuzzle his neck. She licked his neck from the bottom to the top and then ran along his jaw, feeling the stubble that'd formed there beneath her tongue. She kissed him briefly on the lips, marveling at the way that their mouths fit together so perfectly. She moved her face away from his and gazed into his eyes. As she did so, she lifted her hips and held his erection so she was hovering over it. Slowly she lowered herself onto him, feeling him stretch her open. Feeling him pushing deep inside her. They continued to hold each other's gaze as they moved against one another.

Lee was amazed at how it felt to be inside Kara. He had imagined it for a long time. He'd used it as a fantasy to sustain him in the long months since… well, since forever. Each movement they made increased the friction of their bodies, driving the sensation deeper. Soon Kara was very close to the edge again. "Come with me, Lee. Please come with me."

Her words were enough to take him over the edge. Leaving him to drive his climax into her. She groaned as wave after wave of pleasure washed over her. They remained locked in each others arms, both panting from the exertion, for several minutes. Slowly Lee lowered their bodies to the floor of the cave, holding her in his arms as if she was a precious gift, which she was to him. They settled against each, still joined together and slowly drifting to sleep. "I love you, Starbuck."

"I love you too, Apollo."

****

The next morning Kara woke, feeling much the same as she had the morning before. Safe, ensconced within Lee's arms. She lay there and thought about the events of the previous day. She didn't regret anything that happened. Waking up with Lee. Flying with Lee above Kobol. The battle with the Raiders. Having sex with Lee. She paused slightly at that last part. There'd been much speculation from other females within the crew about the prowess of Apollo in bed, she'd heard a lot about it. All parties pretty much agreed he'd live up to his call sign. They weren't wrong. She'd had sex with quite a few people over her life – but very few of those instances had been particularly satisfying. Until last night. Lee was a very attentive partner. He'd put her needs ahead of his own. She was almost certain it would always be that way with Lee, she just hoped she'd get to experience that again. Even after the previous night there was still a hint of doubt about his feelings for her. She wanted to believe him but was scared of letting him get too close to her. Could she let herself risk getting hurt again?

She turned in his arms to face him and looked at his face. He looked relaxed, more so than he had since she'd returned from Caprica. She inched her way down his body, carefully moving out of his arms. She finally reached her goal. She laid her head on his stomach, eyeing his cock as it lay in front of her. She ran a fingertip along the length of it. It shifted slightly against his thigh responding to her touch. She moistened her lips as she continued her ministrations. His hips shifted as she closed her hand around the girth. She glanced up at his face, but he was still asleep. She moved closer to his growing length and licked end to tip, tasting him. He began to harden in her hand. She moved and licked from base to top again. She took his end into her mouth, swirling her tongue across the tip. She moved him deeper within her mouth and moved her hand to cup his balls. They felt heavy in her hand. He was still hardening and swelling within her mouth. He shifted again beneath her, thrusting slightly. She looked up again and found his piercing blue eyes looking down at her. As her eyes met his, he came in her mouth and she milked him dry. She moved herself back up to lie once again in his arms, licking her lips with a smile on her face. "Morning."

He kissed her, caressing her back. "Morning. That was a great way to wake up. I could get used to it."

"I was just checking you were okay," she said, repeating his words from the day before.

"That's what you're calling it, is it?" Again he repeated her response from yesterday, there was a definite smirk on his face.

"Yes, but I'm not sure I got a satisfactory answer to my query."

"Really," he rolled them both over. "I'm going to have to prove to you just how okay I am then, aren't I?"

TBC

A/N: Well there you go - my first attempt at a sex scene... I hope you think it worked. Let me know.


	6. Chapter 6

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**Summary - This story is very dark and will contain violence and scenes that may be difficult reading. **

**Set after Kara returns from Caprica – oh and she never met Sam (yay!)**

**Chapter 6**

"You want to go down to the planet?" Tigh asked. He was incredulous. "Do you think that's wise? You've just had major surgery."

"The scriptures seem to indicate that I should go with the President. Cottle doesn't think it'll be a problem. I know my limitations, Saul. Everything will be fine."

He looked at the report that Bill had given him just a few minutes earlier, scanning the words that were written on it. "You're taking three Raptors down to the surface?"

"Yes."

"After what happened last time, can we risk losing another three Raptors?"

"Well we know there aren't any basestars this time. It should be okay."

"Yes, but three Raptors seems like overkill to search for the Tomb of Athena, which – may I remind you – may not even exist."

"That's not our only objective," Adama decided to be truthful with his XO. "We're also going to search for Lee and Kara." He stared at him and waited for the inevitable flare up. He didn't have to wait very long.

"What?! Why?" He couldn't believe his friend was so willing to forget what the two of them had done so easily. Yes, Lee was his son and Kara was like a member of the family but both of them had abandoned their duties. He looked at his superior officer in wonder, stunned at the level of forgiveness he was bestowing upon the missing pilots. He wasn't sure he could be so forgiving.

"The Fleet needs this, Saul. Finding them and the route to Earth will give everyone hope. Hope that will get us all through this mess."

"Do you think it's worth that level of resources?"

"Saul, I'm not asking your permission about this, it's my decision… and the President's. We're going to search for them. I told Lee not that long ago that if it was ever him that was lost on a planet, we'd never leave. I'm not going back on my promise. We will find them, and we'll bring them home."

Saul knew he was going to get nowhere with this argument but pushed one more point before letting the conversation end. "And what about what happened before you got shot? With Kara and Lee; what happens about that?"

"I don't know, Saul. Let's just leave it. I'm not willing to discuss this any further."

****

Kara and Lee were preparing to go and try to find some food. The weather had eventually cleared up. Of course, preparing to leave the cave was taking a lot longer than was absolutely necessary. They kept stopping to kiss and caress each other as they reluctantly got dressed. "We should get going…" Lee chuckled. It wasn't the first time he'd said this.

"I think you'll find that you can get me going whenever you try, Captain." Her tone was teasing.

"As do you, but seriously, if we don't have some food soon, I… we… won't have the energy to do anything." He kissed her on the tip of her nose, turned and started to walk out of the cave. Kara followed closely behind. Both of them were deep in thought. Lee still amazed that Kara wanted to be with him and Kara thinking that something was bound to go wrong. It usually did when it came to her love life.

She was right. Outside the cave, they were greeted by the last sight they wanted to see. Cylons. Lots of them. There was no way they could escape. They were caught.

Centurions grabbed them both and dragged them away. They didn't put up a fight. They looked each other in the eyes, communicating without words; they knew they'd need to conserve their energy. Pick their battles when the odds were more in their favor.

"Kara," the Leoben model sounded almost pleased as he let her name roll from this mouth. He turned his head slightly and smiled politely as he sighted Lee. It was chilling. "Kara and Apollo." It was as though Lee didn't warrant being addressed by his own name.

Lee watched Kara intently as she tensed slightly at the Cylon's words. She flicked her eyes to his for a brief moment. She was scared; he could see it in her eyes. He knew that she'd been disturbed by some of the things the Leoben model she'd interrogated had said to her. He'd read the reports and spoken to her about it. His concern rose as each minute passed.

A female voice suddenly joined the mix. "I've so wanted to bump into these two. I think this is going to be fun." It was the model that'd been on board Galactica. Shelley something. The blonde one Kara had only joked about earlier. Another version of the one she'd fought on Caprica. "Time to go," she turned and Leoben moved to follow her. The two Colonial officers were unceremoniously dragged in their wake by Centurions.

****

Three Raptors departed from Galactica. It'd taken longer than Bill would've liked to get it all organized. It'd been forty-eight hours since he'd woken in sickbay, even longer since Lee and Kara had disappeared. He felt he'd let them down. He knew in his gut something was wrong. They knew there may be some Cylons on the surface of the planet and he had a feeling that wherever his children were, the Cylons were there too. He was very worried; worried they wouldn't be able to find them. Worried about what they'd find if – when – they did.

They had twelve marines aboard the Raptors and several of the Chief's deck crew, including the Chief, were there as well. A precious collection of the people he trusted. There were two other passengers on board and one of them he wasn't so willing to trust. One of them was the Cylon that they'd known as Sharon Valerii… well, another copy of her anyway. Not the one that'd shot him, even he wasn't that forgiving. He hadn't really wanted to bring her – but she said she could lead the way to the Tomb of Athena. But did he believe her; of that he wasn't certain.

"Commander, I'm picking up the charred remains of a Viper on the surface," the pilot informed him, startling him from his thoughts.

"Anything else?" His heart fell when he heard what the officer said. Was it Lee's or Kara's? He couldn't even bring himself to think about which one he hoped it was. He felt a reassuring hand on his arm, it gave a gently squeeze. He looked to his right briefly and his eyes met those of Laura Roslin.

"They'll be okay," she said quietly. "They're Starbuck and Apollo. They love each other, Bill. They'd never let anyone hurt the other."

"What if they don't have any say in the matter? This feels wrong. I think they're in serious trouble and there's nothing I can do to help them."

They were interrupted in their conversation by the pilot once again speaking. "Sir, there's another Viper on the surface; it appears to be fairly intact."

"Contact the other Raptors, co-ordinate landing near that Viper." Bill's hopes had risen.

"We'll find them, Bill, I know it. We just need to continue to hope." Laura's words gave him a little comfort.

All three ships landed on the surface a short distance from the second Viper they'd found. Helo came over to the Commander a few minutes later. "Commander, it's Apollo's Viper. There's some damage to it, but nothing too severe. The Chief thinks the ship is salvageable. He'd like to take it back to Galactica. With your permission he's going to go to the other Viper and see if anything is salvageable from that one as well."

"Tell him to do what he can. Is there any sign of Lee and Kara?" Concern was evident across his face.

"There's no sign of Apollo, Sir. He was obviously able to get out of his Viper – which we can take as a good sign. Once we've made our way over to Starbuck's Viper we may have a better idea of what the situation is."

Adama nodded and Helo disappeared back to let the Chief know what the plan was. Bill was relieved his son had at least landed on the planet and got out of his ship. He also knew his son's first instinct would be to go to Kara's plane and make sure she was all right as well. It was an instinct Bill felt just as deeply; one he was fighting very hard now.

"I told you they'd be okay, Bill." Her voice did reassure him; giving him some comfort.

"Yeah, but they aren't here. I would've expected them to be nearby so that when we arrived they could rendezvous with us."

"Maybe they got held up…"

"That's what I'm afraid of." They fell into silence watching the Galactica crewmembers working.

After another thirty minutes or so Helo returned to report to Adama. "The Chief is hopeful he can at least recover some parts from the Viper Kara was flying. Most of it's gone – but there are some parts that may still be okay. The ship is mostly ruined though. The whole of the cockpit is completely wrecked, sir."

"Any sign of survivors?" He couldn't hide the worry from his voice.

"No, she got out of it before it exploded, Sir." Helo looked relieved his friend had at least survived her unplanned landing on this planet. "It looks as if Lee was the one that got her out, the canopy appears to have been forced from the outside. He got to her before it exploded… so I think they're okay."

"Thank you for the update, Lieutenant. Can you get the Chief and his crew to organize for the transport of salvageable material back up to Galactica? They should've a couple of marines and a pilot with them. Everybody else will be split into two teams. I want a team of marines to go and search for Lee and Kara. You… the Cylon… and two marines will be in the other team, with myself and the President. We're going to go and try to locate the Tomb of Athena."

"Aye, Sir." Helo went off and dispatched the crew as instructed.

TBC

A/N: A short chapter just to move the story on a little. The next one will be more focused on Lee and Kara and their... plight. :-) I will post chapter 7 when I get to work tomorrow. Please review.

A/N2: Thanks to everyone for their comments about the chapters so far (especially chapter 5), they are very welcome.


	7. Chapter 7

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**Summary - This story is very dark and will contain violence and scenes that may be difficult reading. **

**Set after Kara returns from Caprica – oh and she never met Sam (yay!)**

As promised here is the next chapter. And it's pretty much all Lee and Kara. Enjoy!

**Chapter 7**

It was a small dark room. Kara became aware of her surroundings. She winced as she moved her head. She couldn't move her arms; her wrists were tied behind her back. Her feet appeared to be bound together as well. What was she going to do? Escape from a sealed room? She tried to work out if she was injured in any way. Her head was throbbing, possibly still a little bit from the crash or maybe they'd hit her head. She wasn't sure which. Her jaw was also painful to move. She could feel bruises that'd formed over her body. She realized she was in only her tanks and underwear – she seemed to have had her flight suit removed but she couldn't work out when that was. She couldn't even remember getting to this room. The Cylons must've knocked her unconscious sometime after they were captured. 'That would explain the fuzzy head,' she thought.

She glanced around the room again. She realized she was lying on a small bed, there was no mattress on it and it wasn't particularly comfortable. There was another bed over the other side of the room. It was empty. The rest of the room was empty. Lee! He wasn't in the room… it looked as if he must've been on that bed but if he wasn't there that meant they had him. She wondered what they were doing to him; she began to feel sick as several possibilities began to creep into her head. She was worried for him, worried what they'd do to him. What they'd do to both of them. She wondered if anyone from the fleet was looking for them. She hoped the Old Man would be – but he might not be able to.

The door opened and two Centurions walked into the room dragging Lee between them. They dumped him on the bed and walked back out of the room – not sparing a glance at her. As soon as they were out of the room, she looked over at him. He looked awful. They'd done a real number on him. He'd quite obviously been beaten. His eyes were swollen shut and his jaw looked bruised and swollen as well. He was lying awkwardly, his right arm was at a funny angle; maybe dislocated or even broken. His flight suit had also been removed. She let herself appreciate what she could see of his body for a few moments. He groaned. She moved her gaze back up to his face. "Lee, are you awake?"

"Kara…" his voice was barely a whisper.

"I'm here. What did they do to you?"

"I'm okay. Are you?"

"Lee, you're not okay. Tell me what they did."

"They hit me a little." Kara snorted. "Okay, quite a lot. I'm fine, nothing Doc Cottle couldn't sort out."

"If only he was here…" she said wistfully.

"Not very often you can be heard saying that."

"Yeah, well, things change. I'm serious though, Lee. Are you okay? You look awful."

"Thanks. Kick a guy while he's down." He grumbled, but he had a small grin on his face. He managed to open one eye and look into hers. "You don't look a great deal better than I feel, you know."

"Yeah, well I'll feel better when you tell me how you really are."

"I'll be alright, Kara, believe me."

"They didn't tie you up, did they?"

"No."

"Any chance you could untie me? My arms are really aching." He moved from the bed he was on slowly and made his way over to her. He gently undid her hands; struggling a couple of times because of his arm. She sat up and worked to undo the binds around her feet. Once she was free, she swung her feet down onto the floor and sat facing Lee, who was now kneeling on the floor. Her hand reached out to touch his face. He flinched slightly as her hand caught a tender spot. "Sorry," she said quietly.

"It's okay."

She studied him further, her eyes drawn to his arm. "Is your arm broken, do you think? Or dislocated?"

"Fairly sure it's dislocated."

"Do you want me to try and put it back in place?" He looked her in the face; she could tell he wasn't sure. "It may ease the pain a little. It'll hurt a lot, but then should feel better. Please Lee. Let me do this; I want to help you. I can't stand to see you in pain like this." She didn't mention she had experience of dealing with both dislocated and broken bones. He didn't need to know that; no one did. She leaned forward and kissed him on the temple. His good arm came up around her body.

"Do it." He whispered in her ear. She kissed him on the cheek. She took his right arm in her hands and moved it slowly up. She got it to shoulder height and looked him in the eyes. He nodded at her and she moved it quickly above his head. The sound of it popping back into the socket reverberated around the room. He grunted and tears welled in his eyes as pain radiated throughout his body.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry." She repeated it over and over as she pulled him into her arms. The tears fell down both of their faces. She traced kisses over his face and rubbed her hands up and down his back, trying to comfort him. "I wish I hadn't done that now."

"I'm glad you did. It doesn't hurt as much now."

"Liar."

"Listen to me, Kara," he spoke in a low voice. "I need you to believe me. I trust you completely, if I didn't, I never would've let you sort my arm out. You were right; it doesn't hurt as much now. It still hurts, but not as bad and I can move it a little bit now. It needed to be done."

"I just don't want to hurt you." She spoke in a tiny voice, not looking at him.

He put his hand under her chin and raised her face to look at him. "You didn't. You could never hurt me, baby. Not anymore. I love you and I know you love me." He raised his hand to cup her face. "We need to be strong for each other now, Kara. We can't let them break us. The only way we're going to get through this is to be there for each other. To help each other deal with whatever it is they do to us."

"I'm not sure I can deal with whatever it is they're going to do to me… or to you."

"I'll help you through this. I'll be there for you… all the way. Just like you'll be there for me. I'm always going to be there for you, I promise."

She believed him. He was a wonderful man and he was right she loved him, but she'd need him throughout this experience, of that she was sure. "What is it you think they want from us?"

"I've no idea." He gathered her up into his arms and moved them onto her bed. He held her in his arms. He felt her relax against him. His hand moved up her body and he moved to fondle her chest. She inched further back against him, rubbing herself against his body. She gave a contented sigh.

"That feel's good," her voice was breathy and lower than normal.

He nuzzled against her neck, "Feels pretty good from my side too."

"Do you think it's safe for us to do this? What if they come in here and find us together? They may use it against us, to hurt us."

"They'd be stupid if they did. Together we're stronger, Kara. We're Lee and Kara. Starbuck and Apollo. Together we can beat anything."

"Even Cylons."

"Especially Cylons. We took out twelve of them just a few hours ago, that's pretty amazing. Together we're pretty amazing."

"You're pretty amazing Lee. You've changed since this war started. You're no longer just the straitlaced golden boy that was the up and coming officer in the fleet. Since the war started, you've really become so much more. You're a really great CAG. You've started to think much more out of the box. The stunt you pulled on Colonial One after the initial attack was inspired. The attack on the Tylium refinery a couple of months ago, even I couldn't have done it better… I'm proud of you." Her voice was sincere.

"I had a good teacher; someone who always thinks outside the box and is an inspiration to me." He smiled. She rolled over to face him, taking his face into her hands. His hand moved down her to her rear and pulled her closer still. They kissed tenderly, exploring each others mouths. Kara paused as he flinched. "Sorry, jaw's a little sore." He smiled and then went back to kissing her.

"I need this, Lee. I need you." She felt a sense of urgency; panic was beginning to rise within her. Her words had an effect on him; she could feel his body responding to what she said. She felt a great amount of power because of it. She raised a leg and wrapped it around his thighs. She hoped that he'd realize she needed this to rid herself of the feelings that were making her chest feel tight. She hated this feeling but since she'd last seen Leoben, back on the Gemenon Traveler the sight of him made this happen.

He sensed the change in her. She seemed to be struggling with something. While he knew it may be something they'd later come to regret, he couldn't help but want to make her feel better; safe. His hand moved inside her underwear and he pushed a finger into her. She clenched around his finger. He slid a second home and stroked her. He rolled onto his back, pulling her with him so she was straddling him. He loved the feel of her sitting astride him. He could tell she was ready for him, but he wanted to hold it out for a little while longer. He moved his other hand under her tanks and felt the soft flesh under his fingers. They moved further up her body as he slowly inserted a third finger inside her. She gasped at the feel of both his hands touching her so intimately. The pressure was building within her body. "What do you want, Kara?" his voice was soft and low, it touched her like a kiss on her deepest thoughts.

"You." She shuddered slightly against him as his fingers continued to stroke her. "Forever." He worked them into her slightly firmer, edging her closer to the brink of ecstasy. He was watching her face and seeing the love shining from it. He rolled them again so she was now beneath him. This changed the angle he had within her and after a couple more thrusts, she reached her release.

He caressed her jaw and neck with his lips. His lips were working magic on her body as they gradually moved further down her torso. They grazed her breasts through her tanks. He moved her tanks with his hand and dipped his tongue into her navel. His continued his descent further still. Both his hands were used to lower her underwear and reveal her to him. His mouth continued further down, putting butterfly kisses on her soft skin. He'd placed his fingers back inside her and was still moving them in and out of her. She was writhing beneath him now, she was amazed by the feelings he was stirring within her. He eased his fingers away from her and his mouth moved to touch where they'd just been. She moaned. His mouth was gently kissing her. He lapped at her tenderly, tasting her for the first time. He carried on his ministrations, bringing her to the edge again and then slowly withdrawing to allow her to calm down a little. Her fingers were threaded through his hair, keeping his head in place, caressing it gently. He had his hands on her hips; his fingers had a strong hold on them, leaving marks on them. He thrust his tongue into her, pushing it in to her as far as it would go. She moaned his name over and over again as she came, hard. As she recovered from her release he made his way back up her body, kissing her body as he did so.

She kissed him, tasting herself on his lips and in his mouth. She moved her lips down his neck, tenderly kissing him on his right shoulder. It was bruised and slightly swollen. She nuzzled her face against his neck and shoulder as her hands worked to remove his underwear. She gently pushed down on him, letting him enter her. She groaned as he pushed his hips up to meet hers. They set a gentle pace, the events of the previous few days having left them both on the edge of exhaustion. Their lips met and they caressed the mouth of the other. Lee moved himself in and out of her body so slowly. He could barely move and he knew she was in the same condition, yet both felt the need to be there for the other. She laid herself on his body and wrapped her arms around him. She finally felt calm; the panic had subsided, for now; a peace had been instilled in her body, He stilled his movements and they lay there. Their breath became shallow and they eventually drifted to sleep, still joined and entwined with each other.

****

He watched them as the scene unfolded before his eyes. This had not been the original plan when they'd brought the two pilots here, but it appeared there were some benefits to it. They managed to stumble across the two of them as they were leaving the cave. So they'd taken advantage of their good fortune. They knew Kara had a special destiny; her destiny to find Earth. The plan had been to use her so they could find Earth. Earth was their ultimate goal now; locating the thirteenth colony and taking it as their new home. This was an unexpected turn of events – one they may be able to turn to their gain.

Footsteps approached; she moved to stand beside him. She took in the view before them and turned her head to face him; a hint of smugness gracing her face. "See anything you like?" she asked with a teasing tone in her voice.

"Leave it, Six." He moved his eyes briefly from the couple before him and glared at her. He moved his gaze back to the couple. The look on her face as the man with her entered her with his fingers showed him a whole new side to her. He tried to imagine it was him that was in that position. That it was him that was touching her so intimately. That he could bring that light to her face. Somehow, deep inside, he knew that he'd never achieve that goal and that pissed him off. He was pissed off with himself for knowing he'd fall short by a long way; with the woman of his fantasies for not letting her guard down to anybody apart from the man with her now… and with that man who was in the room the other side of this wall. He was especially angry with him. He felt this childish and distinctly human jealousy towards the man. "In light of this I think we need to adjust what we'd planned for the two of them. I've a much better idea. One that will meet our requirements adequately. I think you'll like it." He almost growled the words to the Cylon beside him.

He continued to watch as the couple joined and moved slowly against each other, and then eventually fell asleep in each others arms. His ire became more intense, the more he saw. He was going to punish them the best way he knew how. In the actions he'd just witnessed they had shown him the one weakness they both had; each other. He was going to make them pay for that weakness and suffer the consequences. He'd let them get some rest though. They would need it.

TBC

A/N: I know that's a really awful place to end it but it had to be done. Take comfort in the fact the next chapter will be here very soon. If I get enough reviews, before the end of the day. :-)


	8. Chapter 8

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**Summary - This story is very dark and will contain violence and scenes that may be difficult reading. **

**Set after Kara returns from Caprica – oh and she never met Sam (yay!)**

**WARNING: This chapter goes to some pretty dark places. Leoben is a very very bad Cylon.  
**

**Chapter 8**

He woke to the sound of her breath in his ear as she slept peacefully within his arms. The feel of her and the look on her face caused him to start to harden against her, she stirred as he did. He kissed her and she woke fully, responding to his kiss. He easily slid back into her and she moved slowly in time with him feeling him become fully erect within her. She smiled against his lips. "Frak me, Lee. Hard and fast."

Those were the only words he needed to hear. He moved her in his arms and stood, never stopping moving his lips against hers and continuing to move within her. He pressed her back against the wall between the two beds, pressing his whole body against her. His movements within her became deeper. He surged in and out of her. He raised her right leg opening her to him. Both of them were panting heavily by this time. "I love you Kara."

"I love you too, Lee." They continued their dance, frantically moving against each other. Lee bit her neck, enough to draw blood and then gently licked and kissed it. She screamed as her release took hold of her. She clenched around him; her breath coming in gasps. Her orgasm was strong, her body was shaking all over and Lee had to physically support her. He was still moving within her, trying to reach his peak. Her movements finally stilled and she watched him. The man before her, within her body, amazed her. She wanted to give everything, all of herself, to this man. She'd never felt this way about anyone she'd been involved with before. Not even his brother, who she'd loved dearly. "Lee, open your eyes." He did as she said. "I want to watch you come. I want to see the look on your face." She knew her words would touch him deep in his heart. His movements within her continued and he held her gaze. She smiled at him and touched his face. His eyes were sparkling, a piercing blue. She hadn't realized the color of his eyes varied so greatly. His eyes truly were the windows to his soul and she now knew she'd always be able to read him, just by looking in his eyes. Just a couple more thrusts and he stilled. She saw his face relax and a look she could only describe as pure joy flashed over it. He lowered her leg and they stood relaxed against each other and the wall.

"We should get dressed. I'm sure they won't leave us alone for much longer." He said quietly.

"Just hold me a little while longer, Lee, please." He did as she asked. She wrapped her arms tighter around him, silently getting the strength from him to face their captors. "Do you have any idea what they're going to do to us? What do you think they've got planned for us? Whatever it is, I don't think it'll be good, I've a really bad feeling about this. Maybe we should think about finding a way to get out of here."

"We'll be fine. We've got each other. Nothing they can do will affect that. But yes, maybe we should consider taking advantage of any opportunity we're given. If either of us does manage to get out of this room, we should try and scope this place out, see if there's anything we can use to escape." She nodded at his words and they quietly separated after a few minutes and put the few clothes they had back on.

They were barely finished when the door to the room opened. They glanced at each other quickly and saw the other had picked up on how the timing had been a little too convenient. Three Centurions walked into the room and walked towards Kara. They grabbed her by the arms and turned, dragging her out of the room behind them. She turned her head as they dragged her away and looked Lee in the face. She could see the concern etched on his face. She gave him a small smile to try and let him know she was going to be okay. He looked at her and mouthed a quick "I love you," to her. Her smile grew slightly and she gave him a small wink. Then the door to the room was closed behind them and Lee was left alone.

He stood there and wondered what they'd do to her. His concern began to increase as time passed. Then the door was opening again. It was a different blonde that entered the room though, not who he was expecting, and definitely not who he wanted to see. The Cylon spoke to him as she walked into the room. "Come with me, Captain Adama."

"Where's Kara?" He didn't expect to get an answer but he had to ask.

"Come with me and you'll see her." He looked at her, with a stunned expression on his face. "Do you want to see her or not?" She took his hand in hers and pulled him out of the room. There was only the two of them, no Centurions in sight, but Lee doubted he'd be able to get away from the woman pulling him down the corridor. Anyway there was no way he was going to leave this place without Kara, so he took in his surroundings as they moved through the building. They went to the end of one corridor and through a door into a small room. The room was dark. The blonde Cylon turned to face him.

"I thought you said I'd see Kara. She's not here."

"Patience, Captain." She pushed him down onto a chair and moved over to the far wall. She turned to face the human in front of her, sizing him up and letting him stew for a couple of minutes. "Your wish is my command." She reached along the wall and flicked a switch.

Suddenly the wall in front of him shimmered and seemed to disappear. He could now see into another room beyond the wall. In front of him was a room slightly larger than the one he was in. It was more brightly lit. In this room was Leoben and another man; not someone they'd seen before, but he was obviously a Cylon. He was slightly taller than Leoben and was black. They were standing close to the wall that was between the two rooms, essentially blocking Lee's view of the rest of the room. They were talking to each other but he couldn't hear what they were saying.

They moved apart and the sight that greeted Lee's eyes took his breath away. Kara was sitting in front of him. She was tied to a chair and completely naked. His heart started to beat faster and he could feel adrenaline pumping through his body. He realized the Cylon had been talking to him since she'd revealed the other room to him. He'd caught snippets of what she said but was barely aware of her. His only conscious thoughts were of the woman in the other room.

Six had moved round behind Lee as she was speaking to him. She was perfectly aware he hadn't heard a word she'd said. She knew that; she didn't like it but it was a sign that the plan was possibly working. Now it was time to start the next phase. She leaned forward and put her mouth to his ear. "See anything you like, Apollo?" An unconscious echo of her words to Leoben from the previous day.

"What are they going to do to her?" Did he really want to know the answer to that question? He wasn't sure.

"What do you think they're going to do? She's a beautiful woman." Lee flicked his eyes to her. His heart sank. She'd just confirmed what he was thinking, with her next words his heart fell further. "I wouldn't mind a shot with her myself, but Leoben was adamant it was him. He seems to have quite a thing for her." She moved to his other ear. "He wants to break her. And he thinks breaking her will break you. I'm inclined to agree with him." She moved around him and looked at him with a smug grin on her face. "Are you ready for this, Apollo? Can you watch him touch her? Do you think they'll put on as good a show as the two of you did last night? I got so wet watching the two of you together. I'm hoping the two of them do as good a job."

Lee had tensed at her words. Kara had been right, something bad was coming. He tore his eyes away from the Cylon in front of him and back to the woman he loved in the room next door. The room now only had Leoben and Kara in it; the other Cylon had left the room while they'd been talking. He looked at Kara's face. He could tell she was scared, she had it fairly well hidden but he knew her too well. She was hiding behind her Starbuck persona. That was probably the only way she was going to get through this. Now he just had to work out how he was going to get through it.

Six had walked over to the wall. She was studying the man in front of her. He was a fine specimen; she'd seen him in action with their other prisoner. Looking at him now, she wasn't so sure their plan to break them was going to work. Maybe she could help things along a little bit more. She deviated from the plan that had been set out by the man next door and flicked the switch next to the one she'd used earlier. Now they could hear what was being said in the room next door.

"Starbuck, Starbuck, Starbuck…" He mocked her with his voice. There was silence. He moved to stand in front of her. "Got nothing to say? Last time we were together, you didn't hold back; and yet you've nothing to say now. How the mighty have fallen." He reached up with one of his hands and touched her cheek. She jerked her head away from his hand. He grabbed her head with his other hand and while holding her chin he ran his other down her neck to her chest. He cupped a breast and ran his thumb over the nipple. He got no response from her at all. He was a little disappointed but not that surprised. He walked around, leaving his hands where they were. This meant Lee now had a clear view of them both. He could see where she was being touched. Lee knew that was the plan; that he was supposed to see what was being done to her. He continued to watch her, staring at her face trying, in vain, to remain as detached from what he was witnessing as possible. He knew that wasn't his Kara sitting out there. She'd withdrawn into herself; but that didn't mean this wasn't going to hurt her, or him.

Leoben had released her chin now and was moving his hand down her neck, shoulders and then arms. She turned her head away from him. He kissed her on the neck and nuzzled it as he'd seen be done to her the previous night. His other hand had been busy. It'd moved to the other breast and was fondling it. Still no sound escaped her. She was beginning to annoy him now. He decided he needed to get tougher with her. Step up proceedings. He moved his hands down her body and forced her legs apart. He moved to the side and tied each of her ankles to the legs of the chair. He knew Apollo would now be getting quite a view. He moved back around behind her and one of his hands inched up her legs. He slid it towards her heat; she jolted back from his hand. A tear slid down her face.

In the other room, a tear rolled down Lee's face. He turned his head away from the scene before him. Six grabbed his head. "Uh, uh, uh. I don't think so. You're going to watch this, Apollo." She held his head in place, forcing him to watch as Leoben's hand violated the woman he loved.

The tears were coursing down Kara's face and then her body. Sobs were shaking her body as he continued to push his fingers into her. She wasn't at all aroused. There was nothing at all sexy or sensual about this experience. "You know, Kara. If you want this to stop, you're going to have to come for me. As soon as you do, that's it; you can go back to your cell; back to him." He kissed her lightly on the cheek. "So it's completely down to you Kara. This can be over really quickly; you just have to say my name when you come. Scream it. It's not much to ask."

"Go frak yourself."

"It's you I'm going to frak, Kara. Making you come over and over again."

"So, let me get this right, my special destiny is to give you a good time and come shouting your name? Figures. I kind of thought I was worth more than that." She sneered at him, it was a typical Starbuck look. Lee felt proud of her as he watched. As he watched her he knew they'd get through this.

The fingers within her started moving again. She thought about what was happening and what he'd just said. She wanted this over as soon as she could. She looked down at the hand in her lap. Could she pretend it was Lee's? It certainly wasn't his hand but she'd pretended before, she could do it again. She thought back to a few hours earlier when it had been Lee's hand doing this to her. She felt a stirring within her as the memory floated through her mind.

Lee noticed the change in her immediately. He realized what she was doing straight away. He wondered if she could pull it off. He hoped she could so that this torture for both of them could be over. Then he'd be able to hold her in his arms and make everything better again.

He saw her hips shift against the hand that was invading her but he knew it wasn't as a result of what was being done to her. She was panting now and sweat was beading on her face. She was very close – hopefully it wouldn't be long now. He watched Leoben; trying to work out what he'd do next. Only he seemed to realize what was going on.

His hand was moving faster within her, spurred on by her reactions. He seemed oblivious to the fact it wasn't him Kara was reacting to. That it was the memories of Lee that she was using.

Kara threw her head back. Her release had hit her. "Lee… Lee… Lee... Lee…" she panted, moaning his name over as she fell over the edge.

"Oh dear. That could've been a mistake," said a husky voice in Lee's ear. "I don't think he's going to like that."

Lee's eyes had flown to Kara as soon as she'd started moaning. He knew the Cylon's words were true. Now they were in serious trouble and his worry for Kara intensified. He watched as the Cylon in the other room snatched his hand away from her body as if she'd burned him. He roared in anger and hit her across the face; hard enough to overturn both the chair and Kara. The rage he felt hit him instantly and the emotions were struggling to pour out of him. She did that; said HIS name while he was touching her. His fury grew with each passing second. He strode over towards her, the anger bubbling, barely hidden beneath the surface, ready to be released at a seconds notice. She lay on the floor, still recovering from her release. Tears still flowed from her eyes. He raised his clenched fist and held it in the air for several seconds; contemplating the fact he was about to hit her. Her eyes rose to meet his and she held his gaze, almost taunting him to hit her. He didn't disappoint her, his fist slamming into her face, leaving its mark there. Still he wasn't satisfied; he hadn't punished her enough for what she'd just done. With each hit he made, his initial anger dissipated; but the ire he felt was still there, welling in the pit of his gut. She lay there barely reacting to his punches. Lee flinched each time she was hit; almost like he was feeling the blows she was getting.

By the time his anger was spent, he'd devised another way to pay her back for what she'd done to him. She was only just conscious as he tore her from the restraints that still bound her to the chair, throwing her against a wall and holding her there by a hand around her throat. With his free hand, he undid his trousers and pulled himself out, his hand moving up and down until he was hard, then he forced himself into her. He wasn't gentle and Lee saw her flinch. He thrust in and out of her savagely. His composure was now completely gone and he was ranting at her, yelling at her. The hand around her throat pressed hard against her, almost restricting her airway. There'd definitely be bruising later. Finally, just as Lee didn't think he could watch anymore, she peaked again. This time, she fortunately called out the correct name. Leoben came shortly after. Lee took in what he'd just seen and he knew she'd faked it. He was just thankful she'd had the ability and awareness to do so. The Cylon's hold on Kara ceased and she slid to the floor.

"Time to go, Captain." Six purred in his ear.

"What about Kara?"

"They'll bring her back shortly." She pulled him to his feet and led him out of the room. His legs were shaky as they walked back to their room. She seemed unaware of his distress as they walked and she continued to talk to him. She finally opened a door and shoved him through, slamming it shut behind him. He stood in the middle of the room, staring at the doorway.

TBC

A/N: I did warn you. If you got this far then well done. Please review - feedback is welcome. I won't leave you too long before I update again, I promise.


	9. Chapter 9

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**Summary - This story is very dark and will contain violence and scenes that may be difficult reading. **

**Set after Kara returns from Caprica – oh and she never met Sam (yay!)**

**A/N: Okay, I'm not sure the last chapter was well received as I had so few reviews. I know it was quite graphic and I promise it gets better from here on. There is a plan to the whole story and this few chapters is basically about pushing Kara and Lee to their lowest points and them still being able to be together despite that fact. That said, its not going to be an easy ride for either of them.  
**

**Chapter 9**

The Chief and the rest of his crew had returned to Galactica with the remains of the two Vipers. As instructed by Adama the remaining people had split into two teams; one team was going to search for Lee and Kara while the other searched for the Tomb of Athena.

The pathway to the tomb was long and winding and went up into the mountains. Helo walked with Sharon, they were flanked by marines. Laura walked beside Bill, helping each other as neither of them were at full strength, but they carried on determined.

Bill was getting more and more concerned. Time was going by too quickly. Lee and Kara had been missing for more than three days now. He wished he'd assigned his team the task of recovering them – but he knew the marines had the best skills for that. Apart from anything else, he and the President would only have gotten in the way.

He regarded the couple in front of him. He was puzzled by them really. He couldn't understand how the Lieutenant could continue to have feelings for her once he'd found out she was a Cylon. But it appeared he did and, even more bizarrely, she seemed to have genuine feelings for him as well.

Every now and then Laura consulted the Scrolls of Pythia to check their progress. The Cylon also claimed some competency with the scrolls and was able to offer some assistance. Bill was unsure whether he believed her. He still found it difficult to disassociate the woman in front of him with the young officer who'd tried to kill him at point blank range. He thought back almost fondly to the simplicity of the first Cylon war where they'd only had to battle with the mechanical versions. This newer version only led to a heightened level of anxiety and mistrust within the fleet. That was something they could do without.

Bill subconsciously shook himself and focused more on their progress up the steep path they'd been climbing for the last couple of hours. They paused for a few minutes to allow them all to rest for a while and break out the rations they'd brought with them. Bill really wasn't hungry but knew they all needed to take advantage of the break. He watched the others in the group as they clustered in small groups, although one Marine was talking in clipped tones into a wireless handset. Shortly after the Marine came over to him, "Sir, the other team's just reported they've found a cave a few kilometers from the downed Vipers. It appears the Captain and Lieutenant may've been there for a short time, but there's no sign of them there anymore. They're continuing their search, sir."

"Thank you Corporal." Bill was unsure whether he felt relieved by this news or not. There was still a knot of worry in his stomach that wouldn't go away.

They set off again a few minutes later at a brisk pace. When they reached the top of the pathway they'd been climbing, Helo signaled for everyone to stop. They all ducked down in the shelter. The Commander was near him and leaned over in his direction. "What is it, Lieutenant?" he asked in a quiet voice.

"I saw a couple of Cylons a short distance ahead, sir, further down in the valley. It was another Boomer and a man in a blue suit; he looked kind of familiar."

"He was the PR person on Galactica at the decommissioning ceremony. His name's Aaron Doral." Bill gestured to the group to all come over. There was no risk of the Cylons seeing them from their current position but a decision needed to be made as to what they should do about them.

After a little discussion it was decided they should follow the two of them and see where it led them. They made their way down into the valley, keeping an eye on the Cylons ahead of them. It was another long trek and this time they didn't have the benefit of being able to stop and rest. They had to keep following. After a couple more hours they came across a large building that didn't seem to fit into the landscape of Kobol. The Cylons they'd been following had disappeared inside the building. Bill began to wonder just how long the Cylons had been present on Kobol. If they'd been here long enough to build a structure like this, then who knew what else they had waiting on the surface.

They received another communication from the other team, who seemed to be converging on the same location. Adama's team decided the best plan of action was to lay low while they waited for the others to join them. That would also give them the chance to scope out the building and determine what they could expect inside.

****

Lee sat alone in the cell for a short while. Eventually the door opened and Kara was pushed through. After the door closed she fell to the ground and curled herself into a ball. Lee could see her whole body was shaking. He moved quickly from the bed to her side. He gingerly reached out to touch her, unsure how she'd react to him. As soon as she felt his hand she flung herself into his arms. He held her while she cried. After several minutes her tears had still not subsided, he picked her up in his arms and moved them over to one of the beds. Then he laid them down, gently stroking her back. He whispered softly to her as he held her, trying to comfort her. She was clinging to him as if her life depended on it. He just hoped she was being reassured by his presence.

After about an hour she'd calmed down and was just lying in his arms. "Lee, they took me to Leoben."

He stilled. He had to tell her. "I know." She paled at his words. "The female Cylon came and got me. She took me to this small room." He paused, unsure whether he should continue. He took a deep breath. "She made me watch what he did to you." Tears leaked from his eyes and ran down his face. Shame flooded over her face at the realization he'd seen her when she was at her most vulnerable. "It wasn't your fault. None of this is your fault. I wish I'd been able to do something to help you."

"You did help me." He looked confused so she tried to explain it to him. "Knowing you'd be here for me when it was all over was the only thing that kept me going. I was so desperate to get it over. I needed to be back in your arms, I needed to feel safe again. You make me stronger, Lee. Without you I'd never have been able to get through it." She pulled him back towards her, almost trying to bury herself within his arms.

They lay like that for a while. Both were drained from the events of the last few hours. They fell asleep for quite a while. Lee woke a couple of times and just lay staring at her. She was sleeping fitfully. He studied her face. The bruises on her face, neck and body had all appeared. By rights she should look awful having been through what she just went through, but here and now lying in his arms she looked incredibly beautiful. This was the reason why they'd work. They'd got past so many barriers that'd befallen them over the course of their friendship and they'd been able to work through them all now. They'd got to the point where they had a loving relationship. They both cared for each other deeply and they could depend on each other to get them through any difficulties they faced. He fell back to sleep as he was staring at her and for a couple more hours they were both at peace.

****

Bill sent out orders for the two teams to reconvene at the point they were using to survey the Cylon base. While they were waiting, Adama sent the marines and Lieutenant Agathon to scout out the building ahead of them. They'd returned with some information; which they were now discussing with the other team.

"So there seems to be only one entrance into the building." Helo said.

Corporal Davies, a Marine, joined in the conversation, "There doesn't appear to be any Cylons outside the building. We saw three Centurions enter the building and some of the skin-jobs but that's all."

"How many of the skin-jobs?" another Marine from the other team asked.

"The Boomer and Doral we saw and followed here. Two of the blonde Cylons, three of the Cylons we know as Leoben and one unknown Cylon. A black man."

"So that makes eight plus the three Centurions. There are fifteen of us – so at least we outnumber them." Adama said.

"Sixteen." Sharon said.

"Excuse me?" His voice was incredulous.

"There are sixteen of us. I'm with you. I can help you with this. I know how they think. Let me help you."

"And why should we believe you'd be willing to help us?"

"Because I want you to survive. I can't go back to them and I don't want to."

"I believe you but I'm not sure I completely trust you. I'll let you help us but we'll be watching you. At the first sign you're double-crossing us, you'll be shot. Understood?"

"Aye sir." The phrase slipped out without her thinking about it. It was a habit that was instilled within her design.

The plan was set and they'd begin their attack in a couple of hours time.

****

She woke, again in his arms. For a few seconds she felt at peace and then she remembered the events of the previous day. She stiffened in his arms as the memories flooded her. It was enough to wake him. He kissed her on the top of her head, causing her to relax slightly. "Take away the memories for me Lee. I don't want to remember. It hurts too much."

"What can I do?"

"Kiss me."

"That I can do." He smiled at her and softly placed his lips on hers. He didn't apply any pressure; he didn't want to scare her. His hand moved up to her face and he ran his fingers gently across her cheek and into her hair. He was careful not to grab her or do anything that might remind her of what Leoben had done. He felt her mouth begin to move against his and he mirrored her actions. Her hands came up to caress his face as well. They had to break for air, both of them staring into each others eyes.

"I want you Lee."

"I want you too Kara, but they may be watching. He may be watching. He was watching last time. I think that's why he did what he did. I'm not going to put you through that again."

She pulled back from him. He could see the hurt on her face. "You don't want me…" She scrambled away from him and moved to the other bed. She turned away from him, turning to face the wall; rocking backwards and forwards.

He moved quickly after her and crouched by the bed. He put his hand on hers and was pleased when she didn't flinch from him. "Kara, never think I don't want you." He sat next to her on the bed, pulling her onto his lap. His mouth went to her ear. "I want you so much, but I won't do anything that will hurt you more. And I don't think you're really ready for this, not after what he did to you."

"How do I know you aren't lying to me?"

He pulled her right up against him. "Does it feel like I don't want you?" He knew she could feel him. Could feel how hard he was, pressed against her thigh. Her eyes lifted to his face and tears fell once more. "I love you Kara and if I knew there'd be no repercussions I'd worship you right here, right now… but we can't risk it."

She said nothing; just staring at him. He could see her feelings flashing across her face. Her hands were clenched on his chest as she seemed to be going through some personal battle; a battle she was rapidly losing. Fresh tears fall from her eyes as frustration overtakes her already worn emotions. She rises to her feet and walks away from him, her body tense. She's preparing for a fight and he knows it. He stands but stays beside the bed, waiting to see what she'd do next. She spins round to face him once more; the only emotion now visible is anger. He walks calmly towards her, knowing what's coming, but fully prepared to let it happen. "Talk to me, Kara."

"I can't."

"Try me."

"You wouldn't understand."

"I was there, Kara. I know what you went through. Okay it wasn't me he did it to but I'm not completely insensitive to what happened." He moved a little closer to her.

As he steps closer she hits him, as he'd fully expected her to. More blows from her follow but he puts up no resistance, letting her take her anger out on him. He'd be there for her when she'd done. As he always would be. Finally the anger was drained from her and he pulled her into his arms. She rested her head on his shoulder as he wrapped his arms around her. They stood silently that way for a while.

"I just want to erase from my memory what he did." She said quietly.

"I know you do. And I'll do everything I can to help you with that. I love you, Kara. Never forget that." She stares in his eyes and once again they give her the ability to see how he feels. She believes him. She knows how much he loves her. Leaning forward she presses her lips to his, opening her mouth to him.

TBC

A/N2: Please review.


	10. Chapter 10

****

**Summary - This story is very dark and will contain violence and scenes that may be difficult reading. **

**Set after Kara returns from Caprica – oh and she never met Sam (yay!)**

**A/N: This chapter has quite a lot in it. Leoben has some more "fun", Helo et al storm the building and Lee and Kara have a sweet moment...  
**

**Chapter 10**

It was several hours before they were disturbed again but they were ready for them when the door opened. This time it was Six that entered the room. Lee placed himself between her and Kara, sheltering her from the Cylon; determined that what had happened to her wouldn't happen again.

"Oh, how sweet, the Captain protecting his pilot…" She smirked at the pair of them. "Of course, she isn't just your pilot is she, Apollo?" He refused to answer her, but held her stare.

Two Centurions moved into the room and crossed towards the two. Kara, uncharacteristically, cowered behind Lee; but it wasn't her they wanted this time. They pulled Lee from in front of her and dragged him from the room, leaving the two women alone. Kara drew herself upright and faced the woman in front of her. She'd faced her before and while the model was a worthy opponent, she didn't scare Kara in the way Leoben did. The Cylon moved gracefully towards her. Kara stood defiant. They were playing a battle of wills; waiting to see who'd break first. Kara was adamant it wouldn't be her; she wasn't wrong.

Six sighed and finally spoke to the pilot. "You need to come with me, Starbuck."

The Cylon's statement lit the rage within Kara. She wanted answers; although she had little chance of getting any. She also, realistically, had little choice but to do as the woman requested. "Where and what for?" She was determined she wouldn't go without a fight though.

"Because if you don't, they'll kill him. You're going to be the one that keeps him alive." Kara's stomach fell and her legs weakened. The fight that'd been growing within her was instantly gone; replaced by concern for Lee. The Cylon turned and walked out of the room, pausing momentarily for Kara to follow her; which of course, she did. Her heart was heavy; she was fairly sure she knew what was going to happen. And she didn't like it. She was led to the same room Lee had been taken to the previous day. Again Six flicked the switches enabling them to see and hear what was happening in the room next door. What Kara saw intensified the dread that had been building ever since the Cylons had interrupted the two of them, possibly even since they'd been captured.

Lee was standing in the middle of the room the other side of the wall she was looking through. His hands were attached by chains to the ceiling and they'd been pulled above his head. Standing around him were three Leoben's that were all looking at him with disgust. Lee seemed to be staring right at her; she realized he'd guessed that she'd be brought to watch this. She hoped knowing that would be able to give him some strength; strength she had a feeling he was going to need.

It's the Leoben leaning against the far wall that breaks the silence and speaks to Lee first. "Apollo. That's quite a name to live up to isn't it? Think you're something special do you, Captain?" The disdain in his voice was evident. Lee said nothing, his gaze remaining on Kara's face, even though he couldn't see her.

One of the other's now joins in. This one sounds angry. "I watched you with her the other day. That was quite a performance the two of you put on. You're hardly Apollo though." He was taunting him, trying to get a response from him. But Lee knows better than to react to them; the only reaction that occurs from that comment is the flushing of Kara's cheeks with embarrassment. She knew the one that'd just spoke was the one that raped her.

The final one now speaks. "Oh, I'm sure she's only interested in him because he's here. If they were back on Galactica, he knows he wouldn't get a look in. She doesn't seem the kind of girl to stick to one man." The words he spoke only reinforced all of Lee's insecurities; all doubts he felt about his relationship with Kara; about the strength of her feelings for him.

Kara shook her head as she watched the scene unfold. "That's not true." She whispered. She looked at Lee, for the first time in days unable to read his face; wondering what he's thinking. She sees a muscle twitching at his temple. Did he believe what had just been said? Fear gripped at her heart as the realization he may just do so hit her.

The second one continued, "Did you enjoy the show we put on yesterday? Did you like watching her with me?" She saw Lee clench his jaw. "How did you feel when I had my fingers in her? Did it turn you on?" The final question managed to score a direct hit.

Lee spun his head to face the thing talking to him. "It was my name she called out over and over again. How'd that make you feel? Did you like the fact it was me she was thinking about while you touched her?" The first punch he received wasn't a shock. Lee'd been expecting it after the comment he'd just made; he was almost looking forward to it. He'd however forgotten to factor in there were three of them – so there were three first punches; received to his torso, his face and his groin.

Kara now understood how Lee had felt when he'd been watching what was being done to her. She felt helpless and she just hoped this would be over quickly so the damage would be minimized. The truth was she knew that wouldn't be the case. There was no way the Leobens would stop their assault on him, she knew that in her head; but her heart was hopeful for a swift resolution.

Lee hung from the chains, reeling from the pain that'd been inflicted on him. He'd had a few seconds respite before they came in again raining more blows on him. Over and over they hit, leaving him a bloody mess. Bruises were already beginning to appear on his pale skin. One of his eyes was swollen shut again. Somewhere in the midst of all the punches his right shoulder made an ominous sound and pain radiated throughout his body as it once again dislocated.

One of them noticed this and removed the chain from his left arm. He was now suspended by his already brutally damaged arm, leaving him grimacing in pain. Kara was unable to move; completely focused on the man in so much pain in the next room.

Still the Cylons continued hitting him. Seemingly taking pleasure in causing their victim so much hurt. At the same time all three of them were slightly disappointed they didn't appear to have broken him. Despite everything they'd done to him. They would just have to try harder.

A knife appeared in one of their hands; Kara had long lost track of which one was which. The blade was run over his body, not quite nicking the skin, but threatening to do so with each stroke. Kara focused on Lee's face. He's raised his head and is staring at her once more. She's able to see his eyes for the first time in over ten minutes and what she sees makes her draw in a quick breath. His eyes scare her; they show her he's given up; he doesn't expect to make it out of the room alive.

The knife is again drawn across his body. This time small cuts are made as it's moved along its path. Small rivulets of blood begin to descend, marking his skin still further. Kara's hands grip the chair she's sitting on. Each cut causing a wince of pain from the man who means everything to her. "Can't you stop this… please?" she turns to face Six, pleading with her to end this torture. "Please, get them to stop."

The Cylon inwardly smiles and flicks the switches abruptly, removing the other room from sight. She presses a button near the switches and then grabs Kara, moving her back out of the room and back to their cell. As with when Lee was returned to the room the day earlier as soon as the door's opened, Kara's shoved in and the door is slammed shut behind her. She stands there, unsure how long she'd have to wait before he's returned to her.

Patience had never been a strength for her but she fortunately doesn't have to wait long before Lee's also brought back to the room. He's unceremoniously dropped on the floor by the toasters and she rushes straight to his side, not even waiting for them to leave. She draws him gently into her arms and rains kisses over his face, hoping each one will somehow wipe away the pain inflicted by each blow he's received. In the background she hears the door to the cell close, but she continues to concentrate on the man she's finally holding irreverently in her arms.

After a while she breaks the silence. "Lee, can you hear me?" she whispers in his ear. He groans in reply. "Are you able to walk?" He doesn't reply. "I need to get you to the bed and I can't lift you." He lifts himself a little from the heap on the floor he'd collapsed into and she half-lifts, half-drags him over to the bed lowering him on to it carefully. He rolls away from her and her heart clenches, initially hurt he's pulling away from her. After everything they've been through already she can't believe he's pulling away from her. Then she sees his back. There's a large patch of blood on his lower back that's seeped through the tanks he's still wearing. She lifts the shirts looking at the skin beneath. Tears flow down her face as she sees what's been done to him; what they've done to him. There's a large deep cut that's about six inches long across his back. It's definitely going to need stitches, but fortunately appears to have stopped bleeding for the time being. However it's obviously causing Lee a lot of pain; pain she can do nothing about. She now understands why he rolled away from her minutes before.

There's also nothing she can do about the cuts that mar his body; she can't even clean them as they've no water. She speaks to him soothingly as she makes a quick inventory of his body to ensure there's nothing else that needs her attention; and also to reassure herself there are no greater injuries; instinctively knowing he wouldn't tell her if there was. Each new bruise or sore point receives a tender kiss. He seems unable to respond to anything and while she's concerned, she also takes the opportunity to re-set his shoulder. He barely flinches as she does so and she knows he's in a bad way.

There's nothing more she can physically do for him so she climbs onto the bed and spoons up behind him, wrapping her arms gently around him, being careful to not press herself against him too much. She feels his body start to silently shake as he finally starts to release the pent up emotions he's had to keep hidden. She presses kisses to the back of his neck and shoulders, running her hands tenderly through his hair; her own tears mixing with the blood that's now smeared over both of their bodies.

It takes a long time but the shaking eventually stops. "I love you, Kara." He mumbles as he finally drifts off to sleep. She kisses him again and then follows him as exhaustion eventually overcomes her as well.

****

They're able to slip into the building unseen. A tactical decision had been made to leave both the President and Commander outside the building, although Adama is left with a sidearm to cover the entrance and shoot any Cylons that appear at the door. It's too much of a risk that the two most senior Colonials would be captured by the Cylons to allow them to be further involved in the rescue.

The marines, Karl and Sharon all make their way down the corridor. They come to an intersection and split into two groups to cover as much ground as quickly as possible. As they carry on further into the building, they eventually come across some opposition. Both teams meet the Centurions first and are able to neutralize them with a few shots to the head. The sound of gunfire brings the other Cylons into the corridors and battle quickly ensues. Finally the sound of gunfire abates and all Cylons that appeared have been destroyed. Helo uses the wireless radio and contacts the other team. "Corporal Webb, come in."

"Corporal Webb here, sir."

"Have you managed to neutralize all of the Cylons? How many were with you?" Helo does a quick tally of the bodies lying on the ground before him.

"We have two toasters, a Six, two Leoben's and the black Cylon."

"Then I think we've got all of them we knew about. We have one Centurion, another Leoben and Six and the Boomer and Doral we followed here. Did you sustain any casualties?"

"One flesh wound on Corporal Davies, but other than that we're all fine."

"Ok, secure the area. Start checking the rooms off the corridor and see if you can locate the Captain and Lieutenant. Keep an eye out for any more Cylons, just in case there were any we didn't know about."

It doesn't take long for them to check all of the rooms that are down the corridor. The building seems to go in a large square and as the two teams meet up again there's only one room left to check. They're yet to find any sign of either Lee or Kara. The Lords do seem to have shown mercy on them as there also aren't any other Cylons either.

Helo silently gestures for the marines to remain on guard and then moves towards the last door, trying to open it. It's unlocked. He draws his gun and walks through the door. There are two doorways leading off from the room he'd entered. He chooses the first door and walks through it. It's a small room but it's dark so he's unable to see anything. There are a couple of switches on the wall so he flicks them both. The wall in front of him seems to disappear; revealing another room to him; a room containing the two missing pilots. Before him are Kara and Lee laying in each others arms asleep. Karl can see they're in a bad way.

He walks back out into the main corridor where everyone else is expectantly waiting for him. "It's them. They're in there. Corporal Webb, can you pass me those two bags?" The bags contain fresh clothes for both of them and some medical supplies. "I'm going to go in there and make sure they're okay. Can you go back outside and let the Commander and the President know what's going on?" He turns to face the woman with them and looks her directly in the eyes. "You should probably go with them; I'm not sure how Lee will react when he sees you. We'll be out as soon as we can."

She nods her head, and gives him the smallest of smiles, which falls from her face when she asks, "Are they injured, Karl? Commander Adama will ask and he'll want an answer." She understands why he's asked her to go with the marines. Now is about Lee and Kara and ensuring they're okay.

"They've both been beaten but I'm not sure just how severe the injuries are." Everybody follows Karl's orders and after holstering his sidearm he takes both of the bags in his hands and turns back towards the room.

****

The marines and Sharon make their way back out of the building to the two people waiting outside. As soon as Adama sees them he makes his way over to them. "Did you find them?" Concerned father and Commander, all rolled into one.

Corporal Davies steps forward to answer his question, drawing himself to attention in front of his senior officer. "Yes sir, Lieutenant Agathon is with them now. He'll be bringing them out shortly. We were able to neutralize all of the Cylons that were in the building."

"What condition are they in?" While the concern for the pilots was evident, it was the father in him that was now making his presence felt, not the commanding officer.

"I haven't personally seen them, sir, but the Lieutenant did say they looked to have both been beaten by their captors. He was unsure of the extent of their injuries so was unable to report any further. He took the medical supplies in with him in case."

"Then I guess we should wait for them to come out." Adama wanted badly to go and see his children and check for himself that they're okay, but he knows the officer currently looking after them is more than capable of taking care of them so he'll have to be content to wait for them to come out just a little while longer.

****

Karl went back through the doorway. Instead of taking the door he'd initially gone through he tries the other door. This handle also moves with ease, so he opens the door and walks quietly through it. Spotting there's no handle on the inside of the door he's careful to not let it shut behind him.

He stands looking at the two pilots across the room from him. They're wrapped around each other and Kara has her head on Lee's chest. He walks over to the bed and crouches down beside it; unsure how he should proceed. He reaches out for her shoulder and is momentarily stunned when she pulls away from his touch, moving even closer to the man she's lying with. Lee's arms instinctively come up around her comforting her as she flinches. "Kara… Lee…" he says, keeping his voice gentle so he doesn't startle either of them too much. They both shift slightly so he says their names again. Kara's eyes open. "Kara, are you okay?" he asks quietly.

She mumbles something and turns her face further into Lee's chest. Lee's hand comes up to the back of her neck and caresses it tenderly. "Can you give us a few minutes, Karl?" he asks, still not opening his eyes.

Karl looks at him and questions whether he'd actually be able to open them as both of them seem to be swollen shut but refrains from asking anything else. There'll be plenty of time for questions later. Now there were people waiting to see the two of them outside. "Sure, I'll wait in the corridor. There are a couple of bags here; some clothes and medical provisions. Take your time." He moves outside of the room, leaving the door ajar.

Even though his eyes are closed Lee expertly reaches for Kara's face, taking it in his hands and lifting her mouth to his. He kisses her softly, exploring her mouth with his tongue. He breaks the kiss. "We need to talk; about what we're going to tell everyone. I'm not ready to tell them what happened to us yet. I need some time to sort my head out and process everything and I think you do to."

"I don't want them to know what happened. I don't think I can tell them." She agrees with him.

"That's fine with me, for now anyway, but we're eventually going to have to tell them what they did." He pauses, feeling her relax in his arms slightly. "Can you help me get dressed? Karl left a bag of clothes over there. They can't see what else they did to me. It'll just be too many questions. Seeing my face will give rise to more than enough questions as it is." He knew they should be reporting what they'd been through but the last thing he wanted was to have to relive it in great detail, not just yet anyway. He also wanted to try and protect Kara from the pain she'd justifiably go through in her re-telling of it. A short delay in the de-brief could surely be gained.

While he's thinking this, she sits up and reaches for the bags on the floor. She opens the first one; it's the one containing the clothes. She reaches inside and pulls them out; sorting through the pile to separate those for him from ones for her. She grabs the other bag, rifling through this one as well. She pulls out a med-kit and opens it, peering at its contents with some familiarity. "Take your clothes off." He raises an eyebrow at her, looking at her face as best he can through his swollen eyes. She scowls at him briefly, but it soon turns into a smirk. "I'm going to treat your wounds before you get dressed. And you'll need to take those off before you put these on anyway." He complies with what she says. "Gods Lee. It looks even worse today than it did last night. Aren't you in pain?" She looks at him, concerned with his appearance once more. His body is a mass of bruises and cuts.

"Again with the compliments." He refuses to look her in the eyes. Eventually he speaks again. "It hurts a little."

"I so don't believe you. You're a lousy liar, Captain Adama." She gives him a small grin.

"And you're not much of a nurse, Lieutenant Thrace." He smiles back at her. She runs her fingers over his chest, inspecting all the cuts and bruises to see if there's anything that needs to be cleaned up. She dabs some of the smaller cuts with some antiseptic she found in the bag. Some of his ribs are a little tender so she mentally notes she'll need to wrap a bandage around his body to hold them in place before he dresses.

"Turn around, Lee. I need to see that wound on your back." He again does as she asks. She looks at the cut a bit and then rummages back in the kit. She finds what she's looking for. "Do you trust me?"

"You know I do."

"If you say yes, I'm going to stitch this up. There are things in the kit for me to do it. Are you okay with that?"

He turns his head and looks her in the eyes. After a few seconds thought, he nods, "okay." She can see the trust that's reflected in the deep blue of those in front of her.

She leans forward and kisses him on the lips. "Lie on your side." He complies with her wishes again. "There isn't any anesthetic in the kit so this is going to hurt." She cleans the wound and closes it neatly with several stitches. She knows he's in pain, she'd seen his fist clench as she'd worked, but he hadn't murmured a sound. She covers the wound so it's kept clean and won't get infected. "I'm done. Are there any other wounds I should look at?"

"Just my face I think." He sits up and turns to face her again. She wraps the bandage around his body to hold his ribs in place and then she climbs onto his lap, straddling his legs. Although he's completely naked, there's nothing overtly sexual about their actions. She studies his face intently. He's right, it's a mess. She briefly wonders if it'll affect the way he looks when the bruises have all gone. She realizes with a start that she doesn't care. While she's more than aware he's exceedingly good looking; she isn't that oblivious, she obviously appreciated it but that wasn't why she fell in love with him. There are so many more reasons why she loves him than that. She's able to rinse some of the blood off his face, having found some water in one of the bags. His right eye is almost completely swollen shut. The left eye isn't as bad but it isn't great either. She places a gentle kiss on each eyelid. "What was that for?" he asks, confusion written on his face.

"Just giving you my own kind of medicine; there's not much else I can do for your eyes."

His lips rise into a small smile. "Thanks. Is there anything I can do for you?"

"Get dressed."

"Well that wasn't exactly what I was expecting you to say…"

"Yeah well, you're quite distracting and the last thing we need is Karl to come back in here wondering why we're taking so long. I think we've performed enough for people over the last few days, don't you?"

He knows she's trying to lighten the mood, but he's more than aware he needs to bring up a difficult subject with her, so he takes her hand in his. "Talking about Helo; did you realize you pulled away from him earlier? Stupid question but are you going to be okay? He's going to try and hug you when we get out of here, you know that don't you?"

"I know. I can't help it." She shrugs and lowers her gaze from his face; embarrassment catching her once more.

"You don't react like that with me."

"I've told you, I feel safe with you. I just don't feel that way with anyone else at the moment… maybe it's too soon, maybe it will always be like that. I just know you'd never hurt me. Just like I'd never hurt you." She raises her eyes to his face again and smiles. "Let's get out of here."

They separate and quickly dress in the fresh clothes. Lee throws their old clothes back in the now empty bag. In an ideal world they'd throw them away; but this was anything but an ideal world and with resources as they were in the fleet, they needed to keep everything they could. He wonders briefly if they'd be able to find their flight suits before they left but knows they're probably long gone. They pick up the bags and slowly walk out of the room; finally free.

TBC

A/N2: Hope you enjoyed it! Please review. The next chapter will be posted tomorrow. Updates after that chapter will be a little slower... I will try for 2 a week (maybe 3 depending on reviews).


	11. Chapter 11

****

**Summary - This story is very dark and will contain violence and scenes that may be difficult reading. **

**Set after Kara returns from Caprica – oh and she never met Sam (yay!)**

**A/N: So the rescue has now happened but there are still repercussions that need to be dealt with...  
**

**Chapter 11**

As they exited the room Kara edged herself behind Lee. He'd been right, she knew Karl was going to try and give her one of his huge hugs. Normally nothing would've made her happier than to receive one of them; but given the past few days she wasn't sure she was up to that right now. Maybe if she put Lee between them, he wouldn't try. If she reacted the same way as she did when he'd touched her a few minutes ago, he'd start to ask her questions. Questions she wasn't ready to answer; she wasn't sure she would ever be.

Lee sensed her movement and reached a hand behind him, brushing his fingers against hers. Just for a second so she knew he was there for her. He stopped just outside the doorway. Karl looked up as they walked out. He started to walk towards them both and then seemed to think better of it. Lee wasn't sure why, but he was relieved nonetheless. "I guess we should get out of here." He said simply.

"Yeah, I guess we should. There are a couple of people outside who are particularly interested in seeing you both." Karl led the way back through the corridors, thinking about everything he'd just witnessed. He could sense something was going on that he wasn't aware of. For the time being he was willing to let it lie… but he'd be keeping an eye on the two of them. Something wasn't right with either of them; especially Kara. He knew her well, had done for years and something was niggling away at him; something was wrong, he knew it. They finally got to the door that left the building and Helo pushed the door open, letting them make their escape.

****

As soon as the door began to open, Bill was on his feet. Helo was the first person to exit. Then there they were. He took a couple of steps forward. He saw them stop and stare at him; they obviously hadn't expected him waiting for them. He also stopped; shocked by their appearances. They'd obviously been through a lot. He saw doubt flash across Lee's face, his shoulders stiffening. Bill stepped forward once more. "I told you we'd never leave until we found you, son." He saw tears welling in his son's eyes as he wrapped his arms around him, bringing him towards him for a long overdue hug. They stood that way for several minutes.

Bill looked at Kara, over Lee's shoulder. She was shifting her weight from foot to foot, avoiding eye contact with anyone. Something was off about her, but he was unable to place his finger on it. He opened his arms towards her and she slowly moved towards them. He pulled her into his arms as well; he was so pleased to see them both. He didn't see Lee slip his hand into hers; he also didn't notice her flinch as she was enveloped in his hug.

She'd never felt uncomfortable in his arms before, and it was something she hated; it was a feeling that was alien to her. This man was like a father to her; he was more of a father to her than her actual father had ever been. Yet she currently wanted to be so far away from where she was standing right now it seemed unfathomable. She felt Lee slip his hand into hers. That simple gesture reassured her a great deal. It made her able to let herself relax just a little bit.

Eventually Bill released them both. "We should get you back to Galactica. Get Cottle to check you both out. We'll carry on to the Tomb of Athena, to find the route to Earth."

This was the last thing Lee wanted and more importantly the last thing either of them needed. He spoke quickly, trying to discourage his father from enforcing his words. "We're fine, Dad. There's really no need to rush us back just yet. Let us help you with this."

"You don't look fine. You look like you've both been through hell. I think it best Cottle gives you both the once over."

"We're okay, sir. There's nothing wrong with Lee or I that can't wait a few more hours. Truly, we want to help you. Let us do that." Kara said, almost pleading.

He stared at them for several seconds. "Okay you can both come with us." He reluctantly agreed, it went against his better judgment but if he was being honest with himself he wasn't ready to be separated from them again so soon after finding them so he was willing to let them stay. Bill turned to the other officers with them.

Lee noticed a movement from the corner of his eye. He turned his head towards it. The air was pushed from his body as he realized who he was looking at. It was a Cylon but it wasn't just any Cylon, it was the Cylon that had shot his father. He took a step towards her; his anger at everything he and Kara had been through suddenly having a focus. Kara's hand reached for his arm. "It's not her, Lee. It's not Boomer. This is a copy of that model, she helped Karl and I escape from Caprica."

****

Karl knew the moment Lee saw her and he stepped protectively towards the woman he loved; despite everything. He'd been closely watching the interaction between Lee and Kara since they'd left the building with him. He was probably the only one, apart from Lee, who'd noticed how Kara had pulled away from the Commander. He also noticed the small gesture Lee made taking her hand in his. It'd just been the three of them locked in their own little world for a few minutes; now he knew they were suddenly aware of everyone else with them. He prepared himself for the carnage that was inevitable.

****

He turned to face her, a look on his face that managed to convey the hurt he was feeling more than any words could; the level of betrayal he was feeling. His words to her were quiet but carried the impact of any deadly weapon. "You knew about her? After everything we've been through in the last few days, you're only telling me this now?" He wasn't being rational, he knew it. There'd been no time that was appropriate for her to tell him about this, but the irrational part of his head was in control. She'd shot his dad and Kara brought back another copy of her back to the fleet. Why? So she could have another go at his father? That couldn't happen; he wouldn't let it. If he'd been in CIC when it'd happened, she would never have had the opportunity to do it in the first place. He pushed the guilt at that last thought to one side. Anger was rising within him, anger that had been hidden ever since Kara told him about his dad; anger that had only grown to infinite proportions since they'd been captured. He had plenty to go around and suddenly he felt like sharing. He turned towards the woman who apparently felt so much for him and stared her in the eyes; in an even quieter voice only she could hear, he said, "You were so wrong earlier; you can hurt me."

Kara's world began to crumble around her. Lee backed up a couple of steps and spun away from her. She'd lost him. The one person in the world that understood her completely had been torn from her life. The one person who knew her so well; knew all her flaws and was okay with them; knew her at her best and her worst and still loved her had just walked away from her, possibly for good. Once again the Cylons had managed to screw up her life. She'd managed to frak everything up spectacularly as only she could. She fought back the tears that had risen at his words and took a couple of steadying breaths.

****

Karl noticed and his heart stilled for his friend upon seeing the pain wash over Kara's face as Lee walked away from her. At that very moment he knew the depth of feelings between his friend and the CAG. Something just happened though, something managed to change things between them once more. He hadn't heard what was said but he knew it had something to do with the woman standing near him. He saw Kara struggling not to lose it in front of the group and take some deep breaths. He turned his attention to Lee and saw him standing a distance away from everyone; he was looking towards him, but he realized it wasn't him Lee was seeing, but the person standing a few feet away from him. He stepped once more in front of her, shielding her from his view. Things were about to get bumpy, he could tell. Trouble was only just beginning.

****

They were back on their way, looking for the Tomb of Athena. They were retracing their footsteps to get back to the pathway Adama's team had originally been following. Again the climb was hard work so they took it slow. Despite their protests to the contrary, both Lee and Kara were finding it difficult going, even more so as a result of the fight they'd had. Both Bill and Laura could tell there was an atmosphere between the two rescued pilots and were worried about them both. Neither of the two seemed particularly happy and the tension between them was affecting the whole group. It reached the point of being unbearable. They'd been walking together observing the two of them for the past hour. They turned to look at each other and Laura gave Bill a small smile, nodding her head and then moved forwards towards the Lieutenant.

Bill stopped briefly and turned waiting for his son to catch him up. He continued to study him as he walked up the hill towards him. He could almost see the barricades being secured in place as Lee realized his father was waiting for him. Bill knew this was going to be a difficult conversation to have. He wasn't completely naïve; he knew his relationship with his son was… well, strained was even close to being an adequate description. Too much had happened in the last few weeks to think it was even close to being completely repaired. It'd improved a lot over the past months since the Cylon attack on the Colonies; but it was still nowhere near perfect. The events of the previous few weeks had proved that. There were still a lot of issues between them. All that said he did know one thing though, his son's feelings for Kara ran very deep. Something had obviously happened between the two of them over the last few days, he wasn't sure what it was; he wasn't sure he particularly wanted to know, but whatever had happened, it was now affecting their abilities as officers and that was something he was concerned about. He just needed to be careful; he didn't want this to become another strain on his relationship with him. "How are you holding up, son?" he asked as Lee finally joined him.

"I should be asking you that. You're the one who's not long had heart surgery." He deflected the question, somewhat inexpertly and both men were more than aware he'd done so.

"I'm fine. Now how are you?"

"Do you think it'll be long before we get to the Tomb of Athena?" Lee didn't answer the question again. He wasn't sure he knew how to. He couldn't put how he was feeling into words.

He was dodging the question. Bill knew that. He sighed. "Lee, stop avoiding the question. Tell me how you are." He paused, when it didn't look like he was going to answer, he carried on. "Do I need to make that an order, Captain?"

His son straightened up to stand before him, almost at attention. His body was strained and he looked far from comfortable. "Is it my father asking, or my commanding officer, sir?" There was a hint of petulance to his tone that almost made the older man smile. Almost.

He'd managed to ask the question in such a way that neither response would be the correct one; the one Lee was looking for. Bill hated himself as he looked at him. This wasn't the way he'd wanted this conversation to go. Things were not off to a great start. He settled for the best answer he could give. "Both, I guess, but mostly a concerned father." Lee's face relaxed a little, so Bill assumed he'd answered him satisfactorily. Maybe he was finally getting somewhere.

"I'm fine Dad."

Another brick wall was hit with a resounding thud. Another sigh emitted from the elder man. "That's what I thought you'd say."

****

"Lieutenant, I wanted to talk to you."

"Madame President." She pulled herself to attention before the woman in front of her.

Laura stood beside the young woman, unsure how to start what was bound to be a difficult conversation between the two of them. She smiled at her and saw her relax her pose slightly. She decided the best place to start would be clearing up the problems she'd started just a few weeks earlier. "I now realize I put you in a difficult position asking you to go back to Caprica, Lieutenant… Kara; in direct contradiction to your orders from both the Commander and your superior officer. It was wrong of me. I'm sorry."

Kara was taken back by what the President had just said to her. She'd never expected to get an apology from her. Frak, she'd just admitted to her she'd made a mistake. She accepted it graciously. "That's good of you to say, Madame President."

"Please call me Laura." She turned to face the woman standing next to her. Okay then, onto business. "Things seem a little tense between you and Captain Apollo. Is there anything I can do to help?"

"Why do you call him that?"

"What?" Laura was confused by the shift of subject.

"Why do you call him Captain Apollo? Apollo's just his call sign. His name is Lee."

Laura didn't miss the flash of pain that came and went from her face in an instant as she said his name. "He asked me that once, just after all this started. I'll tell you the same thing I told him. Captain Apollo has such a nice ring to it, don't you think, Lieutenant?" She smiled at her, much the same as she had to Lee when she'd said this the first time.

"I guess." She didn't sound so sure.

She decided to turn the conversation back to her original question. "So, do you want to tell me what the problem is between the two of you?"

"Nothing." She said, far too quickly. She looked dejectedly at the ground; her shoulders slumping in resignation. "Everything."

"Do you want to talk about it?" she asked quietly. "It helps sometimes. You may feel better after."

Did she want to talk about it; to be honest she wasn't sure. Maybe it would help though. "I doubt it." Kara sighed. "He hates me."

****

"Tell me what's going on."

"I wouldn't know where to start." His shoulders fell as he realized, all too late, he was going to have to talk with his father about this subject.

"Try me, son."

Lee paused. He wasn't sure what he wanted to say. How could he tell his father what was going through his head; how he felt. It would probably just cause them both more pain. He settled on a relatively safe, less dangerous, subject. "She didn't tell me something; something important I should've known about."

"Which was?"

"About the Cylon she brought back from Caprica. The Cylon that shot you." Two hurt eyes looked up into his father's face.

"It wasn't her that shot me, Lee. She's dead. And Kara didn't know I'd been shot by Boomer." His voice stumbled over her name slightly. "She didn't know."

"She knew she was a Cylon."

Bill looked at his son. Standing there in front of him he suddenly seemed so young; younger than he remembered him being in a long time. The last time he remembered seeing Lee this way was many years ago, when he and Zak had been just small children. "From what I've been told if it wasn't for that Cylon, Kara may never have returned to us, son." He saw his son wince at what he said and knew his son now realized how close they'd been to losing her. "Is it the fact she brought the Cylon back with her that you're angry about; or is it that she didn't tell you?"

A look of defeat washed over his bruised face and he shrugged his shoulders as he answered. "Both. I guess mostly it's that she didn't tell me." He looked as if he had the weight of the world on his young shoulders. "I thought we were at a point…" He couldn't bring himself to say the word relationship; things were so up in the air, "where we didn't hide anything from each other. I suppose I'm just disappointed."

****

"You're wrong, Kara. That's about as far from the truth as you could possibly get." She really couldn't believe the level of misunderstanding between these two people. It was as if they intentionally put barriers in their way so everything became much more difficult than it needed to be.

"How can you be so certain?" Vulnerability shone from her face.

She took a seat on a stone near them and gestured for Kara to do the same. "Because everything he's done, especially in the last few months, has been as a direct result of how he feels about you." She didn't believe her, she could tell. "You need me to prove it to you? Point in case, he held a gun to Colonel Tigh's head. He never would've done that at the beginning of this war. He would've just followed his orders. Like he was taught to." She looked directly at the officer who'd now taken a seat next to her. It was time to tell her some home truths. Things she probably didn't know. "Did you know he almost worked himself to death when you went down on that moon? He worked a lot of shifts, like in the days when the Cylons were finding the fleet every thirty three minutes. He was desperate to find you. So was his father. They both care for you a great deal, Kara."

"It's only because I was going to marry Zak. It's nothing more than that."

"You think that's all it is?" She paused. She wanted to shake the young woman by the shoulders to make her realize. She almost laughed at the ridiculousness of that thought. "You're so wrong. Commander Adama… Bill, he thinks of you as his daughter. It wasn't just Lee he was looking for on this mission. It was you as well. It's nothing to do with the relationship you had with Zak. I'm sure it may have started out like that when you first came onto Galactica, but it's not that anymore. It hasn't been for a very long time, you've got to know that. I'm sure it's been even longer since Lee thought of you that way. He probably never thought of you like that, Kara. I'm fairly sure he's always loved you, even when you were with Zak."

Kara stared at her briefly then shifted her gaze to the ground almost self-consciously. Deep down she'd always known how Lee had felt about her. They'd known each other a long time; longer than she'd known Zak. She'd subconsciously known he had feelings for her, feelings she also felt for him but this realization scared her so she chose to ignore it. Pretended it didn't exist. When she'd met Zak, it'd started out as a simple flirtation, it wasn't supposed to be anything serious but it suddenly became very complicated. He'd made her feel special, for possibly one of the few times in her life. She'd fallen for him. Then he asked her to marry him and everything kind of spiraled from there. When Zak had told his family about their engagement, both his mum and Lee had been pleased for them. Kara had tried to ignore the look that marred Lee's face for those first few seconds. She pretended not to see the way his jaw tightened and how the hug he gave them both was tense instead of congratulatory. She'd hurt him then and she'd hurt him now as well. She turned to the President of the Twelve Colonies. "How do you know all this? You haven't known any of us that long and yet you seem to be able to make all of these observations about us."

"I'm very good at reading people. It's part of the job. I also think you love Lee just as much as he loves you. Maybe for just as long as he's loved you… I'm right, aren't I?"

Kara refused to answer that question; scared once more to admit the truth. She tried not to remember the times she'd noticed his reaction to her; all those years ago when they first met. Tried not to remember the small thrill she felt when she saw his reaction to what Zak had just told him. Yes she'd loved him and had worked very hard to ensure no one ever knew, not even Lee, yet this woman seemed to be able to read her so easily. "It doesn't matter. I've ruined it now."

Laura sighed and looked back over her shoulder and hoped Bill was having more success than she was.

****

"I know you love her, Lee."

He was taken back by his father's words. "Am I that easy to read?"

"Hardly," He said with a small smile. "But I've seen how the two of you are with each other. You may think I don't know what goes on in my ship; but I keep myself much more in touch with everything than you probably realize."

"And there was me thinking I kept my private life private." The small grin on his face tried to hide the embarrassment he was feeling at the turn in conversation.

"Most people probably don't realize exactly what you feel about her; but most think there's something between you. They may think it's more a sibling thing but they'd be wrong about that wouldn't they?"

Lee gave a hollow laugh at his father's choice of words. "If one thing is certain, Kara's not my sister by any stretch of the imagination."

"I didn't think so." He was beginning to feel uncomfortable talking about this with his son, but he knew he had to. Lee needed to talk this out. He was likely to bottle everything up if he didn't and that'd be no good for anyone. Especially not for the two people that were so important to Bill.

Lee was overwhelmed with the conversation he was having with his father. The man before him was full of surprises. Maybe he should open up to him more. "I've loved her for a long time dad. Since the first time I met her; I loved her before, during and after Zak." He stopped and looked at his dad to see if he was shocked by what he'd just said. He couldn't tell. "I think that was why I was so angry when he died. I felt guilty. Part of me was glad she was no longer with him and I hated myself for it. Still do."

****

"How?"

"I didn't tell him I brought another copy of the Cylon that shot his dad back from Caprica with me. I hurt him by not telling him that. He hates me because of it."

She didn't think that could possibly be true of Captain Apollo. She decided it was time to get tough. "Did you know she'd shot his dad when you brought her back?"

"No. But I knew she was a Cylon."

"So why did you bring her back?" She suspected she knew the answer, but asked anyway.

"Several reasons really. One of my best friends is in love with her even though he knows what she is. She helped us escape from Caprica and she says she wants to help us, I thought she might be useful to the fleet. More than anything else, I didn't think people would believe me if I told them Boomer was a Cylon. She was the proof I needed to get them to believe."

"They all seem very logical reasons. So why didn't you tell Lee?"

"I don't know. He was already upset after I told him about his father. I'd just torn his world to pieces; I couldn't bring myself to do it again. How was I supposed to tell him? I planned on telling him later – but then the attack on the fleet happened and we had to land on the planet. Then we had other things to think about and deal with. It was never the right time." Kara was confused about why she was opening up to this woman; a woman she hardly knew, but as she looked at her again, she realized it felt good to be talking to someone about things. It'd been a long time since she'd opened up this much, to any other woman; in fact she wasn't sure she ever had.

"I think you need to talk to Lee. Tell him what you've just told me. He'll understand. I know it." She looked over her shoulder at the two men standing a distance from them. "You should tell him how you feel."

"I thought he already knew how I felt. I've shown him and told him."

"Maybe you should tell him again."

Kara didn't say anything, but did appear to be thinking about the conversation they'd just had.

****

Bill looked at the two women slightly ahead of him. They were deep in discussion. Maybe this could all be resolved.

"Are you disappointed with me?"

The question startled him out of his reverie. He turned back to his son and took his face in both of his hands. "Never, Lee." His eyes looked deeply into those in front of him. "You can never disappoint me, Lee. I'll admit part of me is surprised by what you've just told me; but part of me kind of already knew. Your mother hinted at it when I spoke to her a few times before your brother died; I think she knew how you felt about Kara." It was now Lee who had a stunned look on his face. He smiled at the young man. "Your face really is a mess, Lee."

"Thanks."

"You should talk to her, you know. Tell her what's going on in that head of yours. You're quite a difficult person to read sometimes. You should show her how you feel."

"She knows how I feel, dad. I've told her; I've shown her. We've been through some things over the last few days that no one should have to go through. We got through it by being there for each other."

"I take it these are things I'm going to need to hear about in the future, aren't they?" His worry had returned. For a short while he'd been able to forget his children had been captured and held prisoner by the Cylons.

"Yes. But it can wait till we get back to Galactica. I'm not ready to talk about it yet… and I know Kara isn't. She may never be ready." He looked up at her ahead of them. Bill could see the feelings for the young woman he was looking at in his son's eyes. A sense of foreboding increased within Bill. Something told him he wouldn't like what he was going to hear when he found out what they'd been through.

TBC

A/N2: As previously mentioned, the updates from hereon in will be less frequent but I will try to maintain a twice weekly update, minimum. Please review.


	12. Chapter 12

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**Summary - This story is very dark and will contain violence and scenes that may be difficult reading. **

**Set after Kara returns from Caprica – oh and she never met Sam (yay!)**

**A/N: I used some of the dialog from Home part II for this chapter - just needed to change it a little to fit the storyline.  
**

**Chapter 12**

The climb had leveled off; the pathway finally reaching the top of the mountains. It didn't look like there was much further to go. Everyone was relieved by this. The previous few days had been tense and tiring and everybody was looking forward to being able to leave Kobol and return to the fleet. Helo and Sharon were at the front of the small group. Sharon stopped, taking in the surroundings. She turned to the Commander and the President. "We're here."

"So, where's the tomb?" the Commander asked, distrust edging into his voice.

"I believe the entrance is behind those rocks over there." She pointed to a wall of rock a small distance away.

"Then I guess we need to move that rock out of the way." Lee said. He still didn't trust her and thought this may be a way to show her for what she was. A traitor. He strode towards the wall face and pressed his hands against it. Helo and a couple of the marines joined him.

Momentarily forgetting about the injury to his shoulder which was still tender, the wound on his back and the broken ribs, he shoved the wall with his whole weight. The rock shifted slightly as shooting pain made its way through the whole of his body. He gasped in pain. Kara was by his side in an instant. "Lee…" Concern was in her voice and it touched him deep inside. She brought her hand to his good shoulder and ran it down his arm to find his hand, weaving her fingers with his. He stepped away from the wall, reluctantly admitting defeat; leaving the marines and Helo to force the weight of the rock to one side. The cave was open finally.

The group stood there pensively, staring at the entrance to the cave; wary of what lay ahead. Commander Adama cleared his throat and all eyes turned from the cave to him. "Lieutenant Agathon, I'll be going into the cave with the President, Lee and Kara. Please can you and the marines remain on guard out here?" He still thought there may be Cylons present; they needed to be prepared for any situation that arose. He still wasn't able to let either Lee or Kara out of his sight either, so they were going with him.

"Aye sir." Helo and the marines moved into position as ordered.

Lee and Kara moved towards the entrance of the cave, closely followed by the elder couple. They all entered the cave. As they moved in, Lee moved his body protectively in front of Kara; their hands still joined. She ran her other hand up his side, sending sparks of electricity through both their bodies. Would things be alright between them again; neither of them was sure. They continued up the tunnel and moved into a cavern at the end of it. The four of them moved to stand side by side, gazing in wonder at what was awaiting them. It definitely had the look and feel of a tomb but was it Athena's or was this a trap of some sort?

"These broken statues… I recognize them," Kara said in a hushed tone. She turned to face her companions; a sparkle in her eyes showing the emotions bubbling within her. They spread out around the tomb, looking at the statues that were strewn all over the place. Kara ran her hands over what was left of one of them in front of her. "The ram… Aerelon; Gemenon… the twins." She spun round to face Lee, wonder on her face. "These are icons of the twelve tribes, the twelve colonies. This is really where it all began, Lee. We all came from this place." He moved to stand beside her, slipping his hand once again into hers.

"This could be Picon… the fish." Laura said, from where she was standing a small distance away from the two pilots.

A small smile appeared on Lee's face as he spotted another statue. "I guess this little lady could be Virgon." He turned his eyes to Kara's, the smile grew on his face and he winked at her. She rolled her eyes, but there was a smirk on her face that matched his.

"The goat… Caprica." Bill added as he moved further around the tomb.

Kara suddenly saw something that drew her attention. She moved towards it, pulling Lee behind her. Her voice dropped to a whisper. "Sagittaron… the archer." Bill and Laura both moved towards them, also looking at the statue before them.

"It's missing something," Lee said. He squeezed Kara's hand as he turned to face his father. Bill reached over his shoulder and pulled the tube he'd taken from a Marine before they'd entered the cave. He opened it and took out the arrow, passing it to his son. Lee turned towards the woman beside him and they both inched forward, both now holding the arrow. They moved the arrow towards where it was obviously supposed to sit. As they neared it, the arrow seemed to be pulled from their hands. It flew into place and changes began to occur within the cave. The doorway to the tomb slammed shut, trapping the four of them within it. The room fell to complete darkness. Lee stepped up behind Kara and wrapped his arms around her waist. She placed her hands on top of his; taking the comfort he was offering her.

Suddenly lights flashed over their heads a couple of times. They were no longer in the room they'd just been in; they had no idea where they were. They were surrounded by grass and big slabs of rock. In the sky that had appeared above them were constellations of stars. The two of them spun around a couple of times, taking in their surroundings. It was only then they realized they were alone. The Commander and the President were no longer with them; it was just the two of them once more. "Where are we, Lee? Where are the President and your dad?"

He was still looking at the rocks around them. "I've no idea where they are but I think this is the tomb of Athena. Although I thought we were already in the tomb."

"Maybe that was the lobby." She moved forward studying the rocks in earnest, there were designs marked on each rock; made with jewels of some sort. "I've seen these patterns before. I'm sure they were on the original flags of the twelve colonies back in the days when the colonies were called by their ancient names." The excitement was evident once more in her voice. "Aries, Taurus, Gemini, Cancer, Leo, Libra, Virgo." She looked at the sky and saw the patterns were also within the constellations in the night sky overhead.

"This is the map. This is the map to Earth." His voice was filled with the same wonder that Kara's was. He stood in front of the rock bearing the symbol for Caprica. "Home." Again Kara felt drawn to move towards the man she loved. "So is Earth one of these constellations?" he asked.

Tears welled in her eyes as realization struck her. "We're standing on it. We're standing on Earth." She turned to face him, now more interested in looking into his eyes than at the stars overhead. She saw the emotion within them and knew her eyes were reflecting the same feelings. "The Scriptures say that when the Thirteenth Tribe landed on Earth they looked up to the heavens and they saw their twelve brothers."

"So Earth is the place where you can look up in the sky and see the constellations of the Twelve Colonies."

"What good is it going to do us though? I mean what are we supposed to do? Search the entire galaxy for one particular star pattern?" She sounded dejected, thinking they were once again facing an impossible challenge.

They both looked up at the stars above their heads. Lee spotted something. He pointed towards one of the constellations. "There. There in Scorpio, I've seen that before. It's the Lagoon Nebula." He smiled at her. "So now we have a map and a direction. What more could we want?"

She knew it was now or never. It was time to finally open up to Lee and say all the things she needed him to hear. Kara's face became serious as she edged towards him. "I want you to know I'm sorry; for not telling you about her." She couldn't bring herself to mention her name. "I never meant to hurt you, Lee." A tear fell from her eyes falling down her face. His hand automatically rose to her cheek and wiped it away. "There was just never a time to tell you that seemed right. Then the last few days have been so difficult, it got to the point where I couldn't tell you. The main reason I brought her back with us was because I didn't think anyone would believe me if I suddenly accused her of being a Cylon. I didn't know she'd shot your dad by then, so they'd have believed me all too easily. I'm so sorry, Lee. I need you to know I love you and I'll never do anything to hurt you. I need you to believe I love you, more than anything in the world."

A hint of desperation was in her voice. A desperation that in any other circumstance would make her want to curl up and die. Now though she just hoped it helped Lee believe the words she was saying. She stepped forward again and moved into his open arms; into his embrace. He moved his arms around her back, being forced to realize, once again, just how small she really was. She always made this show of being the almighty Starbuck. But in truth, Kara was more vulnerable than she'd ever let most people realize. "I believe you, Kara. I feel the same way. I'm just sorry we had to go through all of this to finally admit to each other how we felt." He placed his lips gently on hers again and tried to prove to her just how he really felt. They broke apart after a few minutes, staring into each other eyes. Lee's hand had made its way to caress her face again.

"So how do you think we're going to get back to the cave? Back to Galactica and the Fleet?"

"I've no idea. But we'll work it out the way we usually do. Together." He offered her a tender smile.

She could see the light from the constellations above them reflecting in his eyes. The look on his face took her breath away. Even now, after all they'd been through; he managed to overwhelm her with his feelings towards her; the feelings she could quite clearly see now in the depths of his eyes. She couldn't understand how she'd doubted how he'd felt about her when looking at him, when now it was so blatantly obvious. It was written all over his face; in the way he was standing; the way he was holding her. And she felt the same way about him. She knew that, but she didn't know if he knew it. He'd said what he'd said just moments earlier but did he really mean it? How could he understand how she felt, she barely understood it herself. She could feel panic rising up within her. She tensed as she stood there looking into his eyes. She hated herself as she stood there, feeling herself withdrawing from him, doubt and fear instilling itself within her mind; knowing it wasn't warranted but at the same time being completely unable to do anything about it. She couldn't stop it.

He sensed her mentally edging away from him. Could see the fear creeping into her eyes; onto her face; felt her body tensing as she stood there in his arms. He didn't know what it was that caused it to happen; or even if it was something he'd done. He did the one thing he could that he hoped would help her. He kissed her; putting everything he felt for her into that one kiss.

As his lips pressed against hers, she felt the panic slowly ebb away. She closed her eyes and relaxed slightly against him; moving towards his warmth. She felt his hands slip into hers; she felt comforted further. There was nothing threatening about the man who was holding her so tenderly now. She knew he wouldn't hurt her; and yet she couldn't completely relax. She willed herself to do so, but it just wouldn't happen.

The kiss ended and they pulled apart looking again into each others eyes. As they did, the light around them began to fade and it went dark again. They were then back in the cave and Bill and Laura were back with them. They both stepped towards the pilots; concern etched on both of their faces. As they reached the two of them Bill saw Kara's face over the shoulder of his son; he saw her eyes roll back into her head and then she crumpled to the floor. Bill was stunned to see his son do the same thing.

TBC

A/N2: Duh duh duh... Please review.


	13. Chapter 13

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**Summary - This story is very dark and will contain violence and scenes that may be difficult reading. **

**Set after Kara returns from Caprica – oh and she never met Sam (yay!)**

**A/N: Okay this chapter is a little bit of a filler chapter to move the story on a bit.  
**

**Chapter 13**

William Adama was sitting outside Sickbay, waiting. He thought back over the last couple of hours, shocked again by the recent turn of events. The whole trip down to Kobol had been vastly different to how he'd anticipated it would be. First locating the Vipers but not finding Lee and Kara. Then finding them being held by the Cylons but managing to kill their captors and free them. They'd obviously been through a lot during that time; he wasn't naïve, he knew they were having some sort of relationship with each other, Lee had pretty much admitted as much to him on the planet. He still was still trying to work out his feelings about that. He loved them both dearly but in his heart he felt a little uncomfortable with them being romantically involved. It was probably a result of all his years of military service; they were both officers in the fleet and Lee was Kara's superior officer. The two of them being together was in direct violation of the fraternization regulations and if they carried on their relationship now they were back on Galactica and he said he was okay with it; then it'd be encouraging other members of the crew to do the same thing. It could make things very difficult. That said, these were far from the usual circumstances, so did those rules even apply anymore? It was something to think about.

The father in him wanted his son to be happy and he knew Lee needed Kara and she needed him; could he risk losing his son again if he denied them the chance to pursue this relationship. Everybody had so little to look forward to these days. The focus had shifted since the war began, from beating the Cylons to survival and there was so little left that was enjoyable. It was possibly time for a change. His thoughts drifted to the last events that happened on Kobol; the events in the tomb. He remembered Lee and Kara both collapsing at his feet. They'd managed to move them back to Galactica. Two marines, Helo and the Cylon had gone back to get the Raptors.

Everyone had flown back to the fleet and they'd been quickly transferred to sickbay. Cottle was checking up on them now. He was just waiting. He hated Sickbay; he'd spent far too much time here recently and it was now the last place he wanted to be. But he was here, waiting for news on the two most important people in his life, so he sat patiently waiting. And thinking.

It was a long time but finally Cottle emerged from Sickbay and walked towards his commanding officer. His face was unreadable. Bill Adama rose to his feet as he approached, "How are they Major?"

"To be honest I've no idea what's caused them to collapse, sir. They're both currently comatose but there are no discernable reasons for it to have occurred; that and the fact it happened to both of them at the same time just makes this all the more confusing."

"And their injuries suffered at the hands of the Cylon's? And from the crash landings on Kobol?"

He consulted the notes he'd made in the files in his hands; knowing exactly what was contained in them but allowing himself time to gather his thoughts and mentally prepare himself for what he was about to tell the old man in front of him. "Lieutenant Thrace sustained bruising to a large extent of her body. I would surmise she was beaten extensively between one and two days ago." He looked back at his notes; scanned them again and decided it wasn't his place to mention the last bit of information he'd obtained from his examination of her.

Bill relaxed a little upon hearing the Doctors words; but the tension returned as he asked the next question. "And Lee?"

"He's also been heavily beaten, more than once, possibly by more than one assailant. You obviously saw the bruising to his face – there appears to be no permanent damage to his eyes, but I'll have to check again when the swelling goes down a little more. What I'm sure you won't have seen; what he didn't let you see; was the broken ribs he'd sustained, recently dislocated shoulder and the various cuts he also had, including a particularly deep one to his lower back. A cut that required stitches, stitches that had already been done and the wound had also been dressed… but not by my staff."

"Kara?" He knew the answer before he even asked it.

"I would say so. She did a good job." He didn't add she'd had plenty of practice during her lifetime. The x-rays in her file showed evidence of that; evidence that went all the way back to her childhood.

"So apart from them now being inexplicably unconscious, there's nothing seriously wrong with them?" He felt slightly more relieved.

The doctor nodded. "Not physically anyway. I've no idea what psychological trauma they may have been subjected to during their captivity."

He wondered if Cottle knew something he wasn't telling him at that last statement but didn't comment on it. "Can I see them?"

"Of course." The Commander walked over to the two pilots. As he stood watching him walk across the room, Major Cottle pulled a stogie out of his pocket and lit it, muttering to himself. "If people thought they both had problems beforehand, who knows what they'll be like now. Gods help us."

****

Bill walked towards the two beds. He'd thought that once they'd located Lee and Kara, everything would be okay. He hadn't realized it could get worse. Now it just seemed a huge role reversal had taken place from a few days earlier. It'd been the two of them at his bedside, now he was sitting watching over the two of them. And there was nothing that could be done to make them better. It was down to the Gods to decide their fate.

They both looked like they were sleeping; and at peace which gave him a small measure of relief. It was the least they deserved after what they'd been through with the Cylons. Bill sat on a chair between the two beds. A nurse came to check on one of the patients. She smiled at the Commander as she walked around the beds. A question occurred to the Commander. "Have these beds been moved?"

The nurse smiled again at him, "Yes, we thought they'd want to be close to each other and it'd make it easier for people to visit them both."

He smiled back at her, knowing she was right; they would want to be near to one another. As she left the area he began to wonder how long it'd be before they regained consciousness. Would they ever regain consciousness?

****

Time passed. Minutes became hours, became days, became weeks and before Bill knew it a month had passed and there was still no change to Kara and Lee's conditions. His concern was increasing as each day passed. During this time the fleet had been forced to jump several times. There was even a period of three days where the fleet had continually been hounded by the Cylons, in much the same way they'd been after the initial attack. Three days when they could've really used the skills of their two best pilots; but the fates seemed to be pitted against them.

The only good thing to come from the last month was the losses they'd incurred as a result of fighting the Cylons had been minimal and spirits within the fleet had risen because of this.

He found himself at their bedsides on a regular basis. Today he was there once more, reading some reports as he sat there patiently with them. The curtains surrounding the beds moved as someone entered the area and he flicked his eyes up to see who it was. It was Laura. She'd been over to see Kara and Lee several times over the weeks, spending time with them and supporting him while he went through it all as well. Considering the conflict between them that'd started this whole situation and the detriment done to the relationship of the Commander and the President, they were now closer than ever. Because of what happened with Lee and Kara they now regularly discussed issues the fleet faced and things between them improved.

She walked into the cubicle carrying two cups and handed one to him. It was coffee. He took a sip, breathing in the heady aroma as he did so. "Is there any change?" she asked as she took a seat beside him. He shook his head. She smiled at him reassuringly. "What does Major Cottle say? Is there anything he can do for them?"

"It's hard to say. He's not sure why they're the way they are, so how's he supposed to make them better. He says they'll get better when they're ready to get better." Bill was still convinced there was something Cottle wasn't telling him, but was too afraid to ask.

They sat in silence for a few minutes, both staring at the two pilots lying before them. "How's the rest of the crew coping without the two of them being there?" She knew things were difficult for the crew of Galactica with Lee and Kara both being absent. She was also more than aware that Bill was finding it difficult to replace two of his senior officers and the result of this was having an impact on the whole of the fleet.

Bill sighed. "I promoted Lieutenant Birch to Captain and made him CAG but he's no Lee."

"I did hear about the refueling incident with The Striker." She looked at Lee as she said this. Knowing he would've never made the errors in judgment that occurred that day.

"There was also a mistake during a Viper training exercise. A mistake that almost cost us a pilot's life. Saul's right, he's just too inexperienced for the position. However I can't use the best person for the job that isn't currently lying in sickbay."

"Who's that? Why not?" Her gaze shifted to the older man.

"Lieutenant Agathon. He has a lot more experience than anyone else within the squadron, but he's struggling to fit back into the team. A lot of the crew has issues about his relationship with the Cylon. If I put him into the CAG position, I may end up with a coup of my own on my hands." There was a hint of humor to his voice with his last comment. A grin appeared on her face that mirrored his.

"You may have a point there. Hopefully these two will get better soon and then Lee will be able to resume his duties."

****

The room was quiet as he lay there. He was yet to open his eyes but he knew where he was. He recognized the smell. While his location may not be where he'd like to be, he was home and for that he was happy. He'd never thought he'd feel that way about this ship, but it had definitely become so to him over the last few months. In reality though it wasn't the ship that made this his home, it was a certain pilot. It was this thought that made him open his eyes.

"Lee…" the voice was weak but it was hers.

He turned his head to one side and saw her lying on the bed next to his. She was looking at him. He stretched his arm towards her and she did the same. Their hands met and he gave hers a gentle squeeze.

He needed to be closer to her. To know she was okay. He slowly sat up and swung his legs over the side of the bed, ensuring his hand never left hers. He stood from the bed, on slightly unsteady legs and shuffled over to her. "How are you?" his voice was quiet and broke slightly at the end.

"Better now you're here." He was leaning against her bed heavily, struggling to remain standing. She tugged his hand gently, pulling him towards the bed more, as she moved to make room for him.

He eased himself to sit on her bed. "We shouldn't, what if someone sees us? It's breaking the regs."

"I don't care, Lee. I'm not losing this, whatever this is. They're just going to have to get used to seeing us together, because it's not changing." There was a look of determination in her eyes. "If they don't like it… then I'll quit."

He was stunned. "Quit?" Did she really feel that much for him?

She looked him again in the eyes, making sure she had his attention, knowing the words she was about to say were some of the most important of her life. "I'll resign my commission; I can't not be with you."

"You'd give up flying to be with me?" His heart was beating loudly; he could hear it pounding in his ears. Those few words pushed aside all the insecurities he had about the two of them. Insecurities that had increased after Leoben's words while in captivity. He never thought she'd want to be with him once they were back on board Galactica. He'd hoped she would, but in his heart, he'd never really believed it would happen. He continued to stare at her; suddenly at a loss for words.

She reached for his neck and pulled his head down, placing her lips on his. The kiss started tender but soon became heated as the effect of her words finally took affect on Lee. They reluctantly broke the kiss when they both needed breath. He pulled her into his arms and they both lay on the bed; her head resting on his shoulder. She listened to his heart beating against his chest as she lay there. He gently ran his hand up and down her spine, tracing patterns on her back. Eventually they both fell back to sleep.

****

Ishay walked into the curtained area containing the beds inhabited by the pilots and found them to be as they'd been the previous time she'd come to monitor their conditions; and the time before and the time before that. They were still inexplicably unconscious. It seemed to everyone within the fleet that they'd never recover from whatever was wrong with them.

****

Kara opened her eyes and shut them again quickly. Moving her hand she pinched herself, unable to believe she was finally back on Galactica. 'Well that hurt, so I really must be here.' She rolled over to one side and looked at the bed beside hers. A bed containing her best friend and the man she loved. Her stomach clenched as she realized things would probably change now they were back here. Now his options would be wider and she was damaged goods. There'd be no way he would want her.

The curtain twitched and Cottle entered the area. He noticed Kara was awake and walked directly over towards her. He checked the machines she was hooked up to and consulted the charts that were hanging from the side of the machine. "How are you feeling, Lieutenant?"

"I'm fine."

"Somehow I knew you were going to say that. Even if it wasn't true you'd say it."

"How's Captain Adama?" She couldn't help but ask.

"He's unconscious, much like you were last time we checked. I'm sure he'll wake up shortly."

"When can I leave here?"

"I'd like to keep you here overnight, to monitor you. We still don't know what it was that caused you and the Captain to lose consciousness."

"Is there any chance of you letting me leave tonight?"

He stared at her for several seconds. He knew Kara quite well now. Hell she was one of his most frequent patients. He knew he could force her to stay in Sickbay overnight, but it would only cause him misery and frak all his staff off. She wasn't a good patient. He sighed. "Fine. But I want you to rest. And if there's anything at all wrong you come straight back here for tests." He turned to leave her and then swung back round to look at her sternly. "And no alcohol. You're off flight rotation for the next week and you undergo a complete physical before I return you to duty." She nodded knowing this was the best offer she was going to get. "I'll send a nurse in here to sort you out." And then he was gone. The nurse came into the cubicle and removed the IV from her arm, detached the machines from her and passed her some clothes for her to put on. Then she was gone as well.

Kara slipped off the bed and quickly changed into the pants and vests that had been left. There were no shoes, but she could live with that. She took a deep breath and thought about what she'd do now. Glancing at the clock on the wall, she realized it was nearly shift change and she decided to do as Cottle had told her and try to get some rest. She took a couple of steps towards the exit and then turned back. She studied the man lying on the bed before her and walked over towards him. Bending down, she kissed him gently on the forehead and ran her hand down the side of his no longer bruised face. "I'm sorry, Lee, but this is for the best. We can't do this. Not now we're back here. But just so you know, I do love you and I always will." Quickly before she changed her mind, she walked out of the room and back out among the crew.

****

Jack Cottle was at a loss as what had happened. This was nothing new, given the circumstances of recent weeks. He'd been in a similar predicament when they'd both been brought into his Sickbay those few weeks ago. Despite all his years of medical training he'd been unable to work out what was wrong with either of them. Now Kara Thrace had recovered for no apparent reason that he could determine. He could only hope the Commander's son would so the same. His other hope was their recoveries would be permanent.

TBC

A/N2: I'm sorry... You probably all hate me now for tearing them apart (again) but it just felt like a Kara thing to do. I will do my best to get them back together - I promise.

Also, despite much investigation I couldn't find out what Cottle's first name was but I had a vague recollection of someone calling him Jack at some time in an episode. So therefore in my little world, he is now called Jack and that seems to suit him somehow.


	14. Chapter 14

****

**Summary - This story is very dark and will contain violence and scenes that may be difficult reading. **

**Set after Kara returns from Caprica – oh and she never met Sam (yay!)**

**A/N: One step forward and about ten steps back...  
**

**Chapter 14.**

He opened his eyes and stared at the ceiling above his head. He lay there getting a distinct sense of déjà vu. Strange, this seemed so familiar, and yet subtly different. He rolled over onto his side and found an empty bed beside his. This was a not so subtle difference to last time he remembered doing this. Last time Kara had been in that bed, but not this time. His heart dropped, maybe she hadn't made it. The curtains moved and his father entered the area. He noticed his son was awake and a smile appeared on his face. Lee saw this and his hopes raised a little.

"Good to see you finally awake, son."

"Nice to be back." He paused, "How long was I gone?"

"Forty-six days. We were beginning to think you weren't coming back."

Lee blinked several times, before shutting his eyes, taking in what his father just told him. "And Kara?"

Bill had taken a seat beside Lee's bed by this stage and looked at the ground. Seeing his father's reaction made Lee's heart plummet. Bill cleared his throat and then answered the question, "Kara woke about fourteen hours ago. She's resting in quarters."

Lee couldn't really decide whether this was a good thing or not. He just felt hurt that she wasn't there for him. Maybe she didn't feel anything for him after all. "When can I get out of here?" Suddenly he needed to be away from here. Away from everyone. Especially Kara.

"I'll speak to the Major and see what we can arrange." He disappeared for a few minutes. Lee lay in his bed, contemplating everything he'd been through over the past weeks. His father reappeared, "The Doctor says you can leave sickbay shortly, but you need to make sure that you take things easy for the next few days. You're off flight rotation and you're to rest. He wants you to report back to him if you think anything's wrong and to come back for a full medical before being put back on rotation." Lee nodded and moved to sit up. "Wait a minute, Lee. A nurse will be in to get rid of all of the machines and the drip. There's no rush." A glare was flashed in his direction but he chose to ignore it.

His father didn't seem to understand that he wanted to get away, but then that was no huge surprise. When had his father ever really understood him? The only person who seemed to understand also appeared to have abandoned him, so as usual he was on his own. Which at the moment suited him just fine, or at least he tried to convince himself so anyway.

They were spared from attempting any further conversation by a nurse appearing and removing all the equipment from the cubicle. Lee wondered how quick it would be before he could leave sickbay. His father however seemed to be in for the long haul and wouldn't leave him so he could make his escape. After another ten minutes of small talk it became too much for Lee and he turned to his commanding officer. "Was there anything else you wanted, sir? Only I'd like to go back to quarters and get some rest."

His father was stunned. He hadn't been expecting Lee to behave like this; he seemed unable to understand how relieved he was that his son had come back to him. Rather than irritate him any further he chose the better part of valor and rose to his feet. "I'll leave you to do that then. Please report to my quarters this evening though. There are things we need to discuss."

"Yes sir." Was the quiet reply, although Lee had little intention of doing as requested. He could only imagine what it was he wanted to talk to him about and he couldn't risk seeing Kara either. He needed to prepare himself for that. He wasn't sure how he could, but he'd try anyway.

Commander Adama left Sickbay and went back to CIC not feeling as relieved at his son's recovery as he'd thought he would be; all he felt was confused as to why Lee would be so upset. Maybe talking to Laura about it would enable him to see things clearer.

Lee struggled to his feet and hurriedly dressed in some green fatigues that had been stowed in a locker near the bed. He then headed for the exit of Sickbay hoping he wouldn't be seen by anyone else who wanted to speak to him. He was lucky, a couple of the nurses saw him leave but no one tried to talk with him. Now he just had to work out where he could go to get some rest. As he didn't want to run into Kara the pilot's quarters were out. As were the mess and rec room, just in case she was there as well. He couldn't go to the flight deck as he wasn't on duty. CIC was out as he couldn't run the risk of bumping into his father again. He couldn't go to the CAG's office, as he wasn't the CAG anymore. It then dawned on him that he didn't really know what his current status within the crew was.

That was when his brain latched onto an idea that would ensure he didn't get disturbed any further. The brig. He'd never actually been released from there and it was possibly the last place anyone would look for him. He walked along the corridors with a purpose to his step and finally came to his destination. He saw the marine standing guard outside the room. He stopped in front of the corporal.

"Captain Adama. It's good to see you, sir."

"Could you let me into one of the cells and then make sure no one disturbs me. No one at all."

"Are you sure, sir? I'm sure no one's expecting you to go back to hack. Not after everything that happened."

"I just want to get some peace. That's all." The corporal looked at him strangely but let him into the brig and opened one of the cells for him. Once Lee was in the cell the marine turned to leave the room. "You should lock it, you know." The marine reluctantly followed his orders and locked the cell and then left the room, confused by the Captain's strange requests. Lee sat on the edge of the bunk and rested his arms on his knees. He hung his head and looked at his hands clenched before his face. Suddenly he was really tired and yet there was so much going through his head he couldn't possibly rest. He could remember what he thought had happened while he was unconscious and he wished with all his might it was the way things actually were. He couldn't understand why Kara was running away from him. He'd thought after the experiences they'd shared they'd be closer than ever but that wasn't the case. It seemed she couldn't get away from him quick enough.

He was shattered by this thought more than any other. His 'dream', for want of a better word, was still fresh in his memory and a bitter taste flooded his mouth as he remembered the look on her face when she'd said she'd give up flying for him. How could he even think that was reality? He should've known better than that. Flying and Starbuck were synonymous with each other. Who was he to think she'd give that up for him? It was beyond insane. It wouldn't happen and he was a fool to think it would. He deserved to feel the way he did now. And he certainly didn't deserve to have someone as wonderful as Kara.

Lying down on the bed and turning to face the wall he continued to wrangle with his thoughts for a long time, teetering from one painful bad memory to an equally painful good memory. Memories from actual events merged seamlessly with those from his dream. Tears flowed down his face as he lay there. He did nothing to wipe them away; he simply didn't have to energy to do so. It was as if everything had become too difficult for him to deal with. So he lay there letting the emotions sweep over him. Eventually tiredness overcame him and he drifted to a mercifully dreamless sleep.

****

It was several hours later before anyone looked for Captain Lee Adama. About an hour after his father had been expecting him in his quarters; he'd finally realized his son wasn't going to turn up. He was baffled by his son's behavior and now he'd failed to come to see him like he'd hoped he would. Feeling as if the weight of the worlds was resting on his shoulders once more he contacted CIC and asked them to get Lee to report to his quarters. He heard the page echoing through the ship and waited for his phone to ring. He stared at it expectantly. There was silence. No one called. A second call went out as he poured himself a drink. He drank a slug of it quickly and felt the warmth of the alcohol make its way down his throat. His heart felt heavy and he was beginning to feel frustrated when his phone finally rang. He picked it up, almost knocking his drink over in his haste. "Commander Adama."

It was CIC, but they weren't relaying the information that he was hoping for. "Sir, I've got President Roslin on the comm for you. Shall I put her through?"

"Yes, Petty Officer Dualla. Have you heard from Lee at all?"

He could hear the regret in her voice as she answered. "No, sir. He hasn't responded to the page."

"Can you send a team of marines to find him? Check he's okay. Let me know when they find him. I'll speak to the President now."

"Aye, sir."

The line clicked momentarily and then the soft voice of Laura Roslin graced his ear. "Commander Adama, Billy tells me that both the Captain and Lieutenant have regained consciousness. That's wonderful news. How are they?"

He could hear the smile in her voice as she spoke and he could imagine her sitting at her desk over on Colonial One. He removed his glasses from his face and then pinched the top of his nose. It was a trait he knew his son also possessed. He then picked up the glass that was still sitting on his desk and watched the surface of it as its contents moved around the glass. "Physically they seem to be fine. I haven't seen Kara since she was released from Sickbay, but the doctor assures me that after some rest she should be able to resume her duties."

"And Lee?" The fact he hadn't mentioned him made her aware there was some issue with his son. Something was troubling the Commander of the Colonial Fleet.

"He's the same as Kara from what I can gather. There's something bothering him though, I can tell." He paused, unsure how much he really wanted to admit to her. It pained him that his relationship with his son seemed to be back to how it was before the Decommissioning Ceremony. Maybe as bad as it was at the time of Zak's funeral. "He seemed withdrawn and a little hostile when I saw him just after he woke up. I'm not sure I know how to deal with him when he's like this." It took a lot for him to admit this, even to Laura.

"Have you spoken to him since he got out of Sickbay?" She sounded as concerned as he felt.

"I asked him to report to my quarters almost two hours ago. I'm still waiting for him to show up."

"That sounds very unlike him." She paused, collecting her thoughts. She could tell Bill was more worried than he was letting on. "Maybe once you've spoken to him, you'll be able to assess the situation better."

"That's the general plan. Of course, I'd need to be able to speak to him first."

"Meaning…?"

"He hasn't shown up here… and he's not answering the page that CIC put out. I've just asked some marines to go and locate him – check he's okay."

"I see. Well I hope you catch up with him and are able to work out what's wrong with him. Let me know if there's anything I can do help, Bill?"

"I will, Laura. Thanks for the call. I feel better having spoken to you about it. I'm sure things will be better once he's got some rest." He wasn't lying; he did feel better having spoken to her about his concerns. She seemed to have this calming influence over him. He hoped they'd be able to get to know each other even better over the coming months. For the first time in a long time, Bill felt alive even with everything else going on in their lives at the moment. And that was a thing to be cherished.

He put the handset down after she had ended the call and it started to ring again instantly. He snatched up the handset again, "Adama, sitrep."

It was Lieutenant Gaeta. "Sir, Captain Adama has been found."

Bill wasn't sure if he felt relieved or not. "What's his status?" He hoped there was a genuine reason for his son not reporting to him. He hoped it wasn't just that Lee didn't want to see him.

"After leaving Sickbay it appears that Captain Adama reported to the brig and asked to be locked in a cell. He's still there and has been sleeping for a few hours now." Felix Gaeta was unsure how the Commander would react to this news. "Do you want me to get the marines to wake him and bring him to your quarters, sir?"

"No, that's fine. Have them bring him to CIC when he wakes up." He wasn't going to risk the chance his son wouldn't turn up again.

"Yes, sir."

Bill didn't feel reassured from knowing where his son was. He sighed, something he seemed to be doing a lot recently, especially when it came to Lee. He put his jacket back on and fastened it as he moved towards the hatch in his room. He strode down the corridor, contemplating what in the Gods he was going to say to his son when he saw him. He finally reached his destination and the marine at the door snapped to attention as he saw his commanding officer approaching. "Commander Adama."

"At ease, Corporal." The marine did as asked. "I understand Captain Adama is currently located in one of your cells?"

"Yes, sir, he is. I believe he's sleeping, sir. Has been for a while."

"I'd like to see him."

"Shall I wake him, sir?"

"No, that's fine. Leave him as he is for now."

The Corporal opened the door to the brig and Commander Adama stepped through it. "Do you want me to open the cell, sir?" he whispered to the old man.

"Please unlock it." The key was put in and the lock opened. "That'll be all. Dismissed." Within seconds it was just the two Adama men in the room. Bill looked at his son, who was lying on the bunk in the cell. He looked peaceful which was something that couldn't have been said about Lee for quite a while. He stood there for several minutes. Taking a chair from the edge of the room, Bill sat down and patiently watched.

He sat there for almost an hour; just looking at his son. He was aware he was in exactly the same situation as he'd been just two days earlier, just a different location. He was sitting by his son's bedside, waiting for him to wake up. He knew he could wake him, but that wouldn't be the best way to start the conversation he knew they needed to have. He was beginning to understand his son at last. His son was a complete quandary to him; had been ever since he was a child. This was probably as a result of the fact he'd spent so little time with both him and his brother as a child. Also Lee had always been much closer to his mother than he'd ever been to his father. The only thing they'd ever really had in common had been their love of flying. That was one thing Lee definitely got from his father. He'd shown a talent for flying from an early age, much like his father, but Bill was still surprised that he wanted to go into the military. Yes he was proud Lee was carrying on the Adama name within the Colonial Fleet but he'd never really thought that would be the case. Zak had surprised him even further and maybe it was with hindsight, but in his heart he'd known Zak wasn't cut out to be a pilot. His pride had got in the way though and he wouldn't tell him he would've been happy for him to do something else. Lee was right when he'd said it was his fault. His heart clenched as he thought this and tears rose unwillingly to his eyes. He wiped them away quickly, almost ashamed to have cried.

He knew he couldn't sit here for much longer. People would begin to wonder where he was and really he knew Lee needed some time on his own to sort out whatever was going on in his head. He just had to hope he'd come and talk to him about it if he decided he needed to speak to someone. There was little more he could hope for.

Reluctantly he got to his feet and put the chair back at the side of the room. He moved towards the hatch but something made him stop. He turned back towards the cell and the next thing he was aware of he was in the cell, standing over Lee; looking down at him as he slept. He reached down and moved some hair that was out of place back to where it should be. His fingers gently touched his son's cheek before he pulled his hand away and then was out of the cell before he could change his mind again. He needed to get back to CIC and cancel his previous order to Lieutenant Gaeta.

****

A couple of days passed and Lee didn't venture out of the brig. He couldn't, he wasn't up to seeing anyone. He certainly didn't want to run into a certain blonde pilot. So he stayed where he was. He was lucky the marines had a great deal of respect for him. They brought him food and drinks during the days. They even managed to scrounge a book for him to read. Not that he read it very much – but it was a nice thought. He did some push ups, not too many but enough to work off some excess energy.

He hadn't seen anyone else, apart from whichever marine was on duty during that time. He did know his father came to see him every night while he slept. A corporal had let it slip that first morning as he brought him his breakfast. He'd tried to cover but Lee had heard what he'd said anyway. Lee didn't know what to think about his father visiting him. He wasn't sure how he felt about the fact his father came to him when he must've known he'd be asleep. A small part of him was resentful he didn't come while he was awake; which was stupid really because he didn't want to talk to his father so really the fact his father came during the night was a good thing from that perspective. A larger part of him was also glad the Old Man cared enough to actually come and see him. Lee was more than aware he'd not behaved well the last time he'd seen his dad and yet he still came. That had to mean something – Lee just needed to figure out what.

After four days he was required to go back to sickbay. He needed to have a medical in order to get himself cleared to go back on duty. He wasn't sure if he thought he was ready to get back in a Viper, but he knew he couldn't stay in the brig forever. Getting cleared by Cottle was the first step back to normal – whatever that meant these days. Since the destruction of the Twelve Colonies there hadn't really been a 'normal' but he knew voluntarily sitting in the brig for the duration wasn't anywhere near how anyone would describe it… except maybe Kara.

It was this thought that pushed him out of his cell. As he walked into Sickbay he bumped into the one person he wasn't ready to see. Starbuck. She was walking across the room towards the exit as he was walking in. She noticed him straight away and there was a momentary pause in her step. He stared at her intensely, trying to pick up something from her face as she looked at him, but her expression was blank. Then she was gone, brushing past him as she left the room. The slight contact between them as she walked past felt like a punch in the gut not dissimilar to those he'd received from the Leoben's. He felt crushed after she'd gone and nearly turned and retraced his steps back to the brig but he continued to make his way to Cottle's office.

"Ah, Captain. I take it you're here for your medical? You just missed Lieutenant Thrace."

"I saw her." He followed him towards a bed and waited for him to commence checking him over.

"So how are you feeling? Any lasting effects?"

"I'm okay, I think. I've been tired all week but that could just be because I've had nothing to do."

"Good." He looked at his board and jotted a few things down then looked back up at Lee. "How are you sleeping?"

Lee glanced towards him and thought he saw something in his eyes. He began to wonder for a second just exactly what the Doctor was and wasn't saying, but he couldn't tell anything from his face. "I'm sleeping well. It's pretty much all I've been doing."

The Major nodded and then began to run a slew of tests on him; all the while, asking him questions. The more questions he asked, the more Lee began worry that Cottle was aware of what they'd endured on Kobol. Initially that didn't really worry him until he began to wonder whether he'd told anyone else what'd happened – namely his father. He also wondered whether he'd asked Kara the same questions. Had she said anything; he doubted it. He was so introspective he failed to notice his medical had finished.

"Captain Adama…" He finally became aware of his name being called and knew instantly it wasn't the first time it'd been said.

"Sorry, Doc. Have you finished?"

"Yes, you've been cleared for light duty. You can go back on Viper rotation at the end of the week."

"Thanks Doc." Lee climbed of the bed and put his uniform back on. So suddenly there it was; he was back; a part of the crew again. He knew he should be happy he'd be back out in a Viper but somehow the edge was taken away by the thought he was now going to have to face her and this was something he wasn't sure he was quite up to. Whether he'd ever be completely ready was another story entirely.

****

He walked into the briefing room early; just over thirty minutes early. Hoping he could use the extra time to prepare himself for what he was about to face. Ready for who he was about to face. His thoughts drifted to the previous evening when his father had finally caught up with him. He'd ordered the marines to escort Lee to his quarters and Lee'd had little choice but to obey them. As he'd stood outside the quarters he felt very much like the little boy he used to be, being summoned before his father for a stern telling off, or worse and it was with this thought in mind he'd knocked on the door. He heard his father calling for him to enter the room and did as requested. He didn't enter the room very far, just enough to close the hatch behind him.

Bill Adama sat on the couch in the room; he had a drink in his hand and there was another on the table in front of him. Lee ignored it and stood at attention in front of the couch. "Reporting as requested, Commander."

"Thank you for showing up, Captain." There was a glint of humor in his eyes as he said it but Lee still took it to heart. He didn't relax his stance but continued to stand there rigidly. "Sit down, Lee. Relax for Gods sake. Anyone would think you were facing a firing squad." He paused expectantly, waiting for Lee to do as he said; which he did. "I understand Cottle passed both you and Kara back for light duty?"

"He has. We're both on shift tomorrow 0600. I've got a briefing at 0500." He paused, looking at his father casually. "Thanks for re-instating me as CAG."

"There's no one else for the job, Lee. The only other person close enough to replace you would be Kara; but then who'd control her?" There was a definite smile on his face; but it wasn't reflected on his son's face which puzzled Bill greatly. "How've the two of you been since you left sickbay?"

It appeared such a simple question and yet the answer seemed to stump Lee completely. He finally came up with as vague an answer as he could, "As good as can be expected, I guess."

"So you're settling back into the crew okay?" He knew Lee hadn't settled back into the crew at all; in fact he'd been avoiding them at all cost. Or was it someone specific he'd been avoiding? It was hard to tell.

"I've had no problems so far, sir." Another vague answer that just barely avoided being a lie.

William Adama could barely keep his frustration with his son hidden; but tried his best to ensure he did. The last thing he needed now would be to alienate Lee even further than he already had. His behavior was beginning to worry him but he was at a loss as to how to help him. The conversation pretty much drifted to a complete standstill shortly after this as Bill was unsure what to say and Lee was determined to say as little as possible. Both of them felt unsettled as they called it a night and Lee felt little better now as he stood at the front of the briefing room waiting for everyone to arrive.

He looked at the notes in front of him. His father had passed him the reports that had been filed while he'd been in Sickbay. He'd read them the previous night once he got back to the brig. They'd been disturbing reading. He failed to believe the squadron had fallen to pieces so quickly once he and Starbuck hadn't been there. Each page made his heart drop even further as he read about one disaster after another. He felt sorry for the then Lieutenant Birch; who he knew had been thrown in at the deep end when there'd been little other options available, but the array of mistakes that'd occurred were dismaying to say the least.

He was going to have to go in heavy and hope he could make their performance improve. He was astonished there'd been as few losses as there had been; they'd been lucky that was for sure.

The hatch to the room opened and he looked up to see who was entering. His heart began to pound and he wasn't sure if he hoped it was Kara or not. It wasn't. Recetrack made her way into the room, settling into a seat on the second row. She glanced at Lee and gave a small nod and smile, "Welcome back, sir."

"Thanks Racetrack, it's good to be back." He went back to reading the notes on his clipboard before him; mentally preparing himself for the briefing he was about to give. The room gradually filled as more of the pilots entered the room. There was still no sign of Starbuck and Lee could feel a knot of apprehension building as time ticked by. Barely seconds before he started talking to the people sitting before him the door to the room opened once more and Helo entered the room, closely followed by Kara. Her eyes met his for a few seconds before she hurriedly sat in a seat beside Karl. Seeing her for only the second time since he'd first left sickbay threw him a little off course and his memory was temporarily blank as he was lost for words. He looked back down at his clipboard and took a couple of deep breaths. He lifted his head to look at his audience and opened his mouth to speak.

"ACTION STATIONS, ACTION STATIONS! SET CONDITION ONE THROUGHOUT THE SHIP. THIS IS NOT A DRILL."

Lee cleared his throat as the pilots all moved to their feet. "You know what to do. Be safe out there. Dismissed."

TBC

A/N2: I know - I'm horrible aren't I. I'm afraid to say I'll leave it there - and won't post anymore chapters until I get lots of reviews! You've been warned. :-)


	15. Chapter 15

****

**Summary - This story is very dark and will contain violence and scenes that may be difficult reading. **

**Set after Kara returns from Caprica – oh and she never met Sam (yay!)**

**A/N: Thanks to everyone who reviewed the last chapter... Apparently a threat of no update seems to work. :-) So now on with the show...  
**

**Chapter 15.**

There was a feeling of excitement within the hangar deck as the crew jostled one another. There was also a small amount of nervous energy and anticipation hung heavy in the air as the Raptors were dragged into place. The doors lowered to the floor and several people made their way out of the ships. Armed marines and several officers all stepped onto the deck and stood to attention. Finally a woman made her way out of the first Raptor; a stern expression on her face.

The Galactica crew fell silent as reality settled in. They were no longer alone within the universe. There was another Colonial ship that could help keep up the fight against the Cylons and search for Earth.

Introductions were made but the sense of uneasiness didn't dissipate within Lee as he watched the woman step forward. "Madam President, on behalf of the officers and crew of Pegasus, it's a pleasure to see all of you. Welcome back to the Colonial Fleet."

Applause and cheers rippled through the various crew scattered around the deck. The Galactica crew began to interact with that of Pegasus in the following minutes as the two crews mingled. Lee was reticent to join in and found himself backing towards the edge of the room. He saw his father and the President talking to Admiral Cain. He could tell from his father's stance and the glances Laura was casting his way that he was deferring control of the Fleet to the Admiral; he could also tell neither of the two was particularly happy with this turn of events. The only good thing about this as far as Lee was concerned was that it delayed further the conversation he knew his father was aching to have with him; a conversation about Kobol; both what he and Kara went through and what they saw in the tomb of Athena. Part of him was still surprised it had taken this long to get round to the discussion. Part of him was fairly sure the father was avoiding it as much as the son wanted to. But given this turn of events, it was unlikely they'd be able to avoid it for much longer; at least the Tomb of Athena part anyway. His focus was drawn back to the three most influential people in the Fleet and he continued to watch them for a few more minutes. Shortly after though the three of them left the deck; presumably making their way to his father's quarters and office.

Lee turned his attention to the rest of the crew and watched his fellow pilots chatting to the Pegasus crew. It surprised him when he saw the level of trust everyone had for these strangers that suddenly appeared in their midst. He didn't trust them and there was no way he was going to talk to any of them; not now, not ever.

He felt someone standing beside him and hoped to the Gods it wasn't one of their crew. His eyes darted to his left and fell upon Petty Officer Dualla, who was looking at him intently. "Hello, Captain Adama."

"Hi. Not mixing along with the rest of the crew?"

"I'd rather be here, talking to you." She smiled at him as she spoke.

He broke her gaze and drifted back to look out into the centre of the room again and his heart stopped as he saw HER. She was laughing and joking with some of the pilots. She seemed happy; and his fists clenched as he realized he was glad she was. He turned back to face the young woman beside him, panic settling within him. Escape high on his mind. "Actually I think I'm going to go. I've got some paperwork to complete. Colonel Tigh needs it first thing in the morning, so I need to make a start." A frown marred her face as he turned from her and walked quickly out of the closest hatch.

Two pairs of eyes watched him leave the room; both holding a certain amount of concern within their depths. Dee watched him leave and then made her way over towards Lieutenant Gaeta as she spotted him talking to a couple of the pilots; her unease disappearing as she moved towards her close friend. The hazel eyes of Kara Thrace remained on the door Lee had exited from for several seconds before she was swept back into the conversation with some of the pilots from Pegasus.

****

The next couple of days passed quickly as changes began to occur within both Galactica and Pegasus. There were several comings and goings of both Admiral Cain and Commander Adama as they visited each other's ships and Colonial One. Finally Galactica was able to replenish some of its depleted stock and the camaraderie between the two crews increased further; much to the dismay of one Captain Lee Adama. He couldn't explain it but he was concerned at the ease with which the Pegasus crew was able to instill itself within that of Galactica and he'd begun to hear stories he didn't like as the rumor mill became as efficient as ever. But Lee was one voice within several hundred; he seemed to be the only one who wasn't caught up in the thrill of the arrival of the new ship and he knew there was no way he'd be able to convince anyone why he thought this was wrong.

He'd seen Kara several times as well during this time and each sight had done little to assuage his distress. She seemed to have settled back into the crew so easily while he was still struggling. Her presence wasn't making the task any easier either. In fact it made it ten times harder than it would've been otherwise. The tension between the two of them hadn't desisted and there'd been a couple of times where she'd actually challenged his authority during briefings. This just led to further tension between them and made the rest of the pilots just as uneasy.

He also had to deal with Pegasus CAG which was another chore he didn't relish. The man seemed to have taken an instant dislike to him and they were beginning to be feelings Lee mirrored about his counterpart. Lee realized it was probably as a result of the different leadership styles the two officers had. Taylor seemed to be all about pitting his pilots against one another in order to inflame some rivalry between them all. Lee wanted to ensure his pilots worked well together and knew it was a team effort and not an individual's performance that would beat the Cylons. The main reason for the discord between the two men though was Taylor seemed to be under the impression that Lee didn't deserve to be the CAG and some sort of nepotism was the only reason he'd been given the position. How true that belief was, was difficult for Lee to determine.

The only good thing to come of the last couple of days was that he was cleared to fly a Viper again. He'd thought he wouldn't want to get in a Viper after his last flight but in reality he looked forward to this time more than he ever had. He was able to completely escape from everything and everyone when he flew CAP and he was quick to ensure he was put on CAP as often as possible in those first few days. Kara had also been cleared but he made sure they were never on CAP together.

He was finishing the post-flight check of his Viper after a long shift on CAP. Chief Tyrol walked over towards him; a smile on his face. "Everything okay with the bird, sir?"

He smiled back at the man while signing his name at the bottom of the form and passing the clipboard over to him. "Great, Chief."

"We haven't seen you around much since you've been back…" His words drifted off, obviously not sure how to finish the sentence he'd started.

"I've been trying to catch up on what I missed." It was a lie.

"There's a card game in the mess tonight. If you want to join us, everyone would be pleased to see you."

"I might see you there, Chief. Thanks again." Another lie; it was getting easier somehow. He walked away before he was forced to let another one slip past his lips. There was no way he was going to go and play that card game tonight. She'd be there, he knew it. It would just ruin everyone's night if they were both there.

****

Jack Cottle was still puzzled by the recoveries of Lieutenant Thrace and Captain Adama. He'd run every test he had the ability to with his limited resources and was still unable to come up with a logical reason for their apparent good health. Also he couldn't say for certain why they'd fallen into unconsciousness in the first place either. The only reason he could up with was that whatever they went through in the Tomb of Athena was too much for their already weakened bodies to deal with. Given all the incomplete answers he had and their now relatively healthy conditions, he'd had no alternative but to allow them back on duty and only recently back into Vipers. He didn't like it but there was no justifiable reason to keep them under restriction. Apart from anything else, Galactica needed all the pilots they could get; even the messed up, frakked in the head ones.

So now he sat at his desk putting together a report about the two of them for Commander Adama and President Roslin. A report with gaps he couldn't fill due to patient confidentiality. A report he knew wouldn't wash with either of its recipients. He wanted to recommend both of them for counseling but knew that would lead to questions he was unable to answer; even those from his commanding officer and concerned father of one of the patients. He lit a cigar as he continued to write his report in illegible scrawl that would make any doctor proud.

****

Despite what he'd vowed to himself; Lee was there; not that anyone would know it. He wasn't participating in the game but something couldn't keep him away from watching it. He'd hidden himself in a corner; away from prying eyes. Maybe he was punishing himself in some way; whatever the reason he'd been regretting his decision for about the last forty minutes or so. He could see her across the other side of the room. She was playing Triad with several of the marines that had helped rescue them from Kobol. As if nothing had happened. Sometimes he wished he could be more like her; that he could forget as easily as she seemed to have been able to. But he wasn't made like that. He couldn't forget. He couldn't forget what they'd had and he didn't want to either. Everything she meant to him hadn't changed since they'd returned to Galactica. He just needed to work out a way to get her back. Or learn to live with not having her. Neither of these options would be easy for him to achieve but for now though he could cope with just watching her. He looked at her again… and flinched as he saw her flirting with the marine to her left. Maybe watching her would be more difficult than he thought.

He heard the chair next to him move as someone sat down next to him. Apparently he wasn't as well hidden as he'd hoped. He flicked his eyes in the intruder's direction and saw Helo sitting beside him. "Something you need, Lieutenant?"

"Just wanted to see how you were doing since your return to duty."

Another lie came all too easy in response. "I'm fine. Thanks."

"So I see." Helo's eyes followed the direction of Lee's. Kara. She was knocking back another glass of Ambrosia wincing slightly as the sting of alcohol hit the back of her throat. "It looks like she's fine as well." Helo knew both of them were anything but fine, but getting them to admit to it was a whole different matter. For the time being he'd go along with it.

Nothing was said between the two of them for several minutes as they continued to watch her interact with her opponents. Lee was getting restless though and he found he really didn't want to be there anymore. He couldn't watch her, it was too painful. Each second felt like a knife being twisted in his heart as he watched. He turned towards Karl and finally responded to the statement he'd made not so long ago. "Looks can be deceiving." Lee stood and walked out of the room refusing to look at her as he left. No one other than Karl even saw him go.

Karl watched him leave the rec room and then went back to watching Starbuck, all the time absorbing the words Apollo had just said. Knowing his statement could be referring to either Kara or Lee. Something wrong with both of them but in their usual fashion, they weren't opening up to anyone. The room erupted into a mixture of cheers and groans, pulling his attention back in that direction as Kara proudly placed her cards on the table before her. "Full Colors!" slipped past her lips as she gleefully swept all the bets in the middle of the table towards her.

Assorted crew arrived and left the game over the next hour or so but Starbuck was ever present and Karl stayed studying her further. She was the life and soul of the party – or she gave the impression of that anyway. His concern for her grew as the minutes passed. He couldn't help but notice the frequency her glass was being topped up as she downed its previous contents. He could plainly see the glassy look to her eyes and the way they flickered to the door each time it opened to let someone else into the room. He knew who she was looking for, but she was over an hour too late.

****

She was trying to forget. The ambrosia was having little impact; and if she was being honest with herself, the company wasn't quite what she wanted (needed) either. It was having the desired effect though in that it was using up time and she needed to do something to make time pass. If it wasn't this she'd have to sleep and then the nightmares would come. That was last thing she needed. Going without sleep was proving to be a problem though. The alcohol helped and if she drank enough she might manage to pass out into a hopefully dreamless sleep. It'd been just over a week since she was released from sickbay. She'd spent most of that time either drunk and more recently flying; both gave her an opportunity to escape from the hell that had become her life. Cottle had read the riot act when she'd turned up for her check-up earlier in the week with a hangover; but that wasn't about to change anything.

It had also been over a week since she'd spent any real time with Lee. She knew it was wrong, that she was being unfair to him but she just couldn't bring herself to be near him. He seemed to be of the same opinion as her because he was avoiding her just as much as she was him. At the same time though, she missed him. She wanted to see him so much. She wanted to feel the comfort of being in his arms, the feel of his lips on hers. But it seemed wrong somehow now they were back on Galactica and she couldn't get past that fact, as much as she wanted to.

A lot of her time had been spent in her present location. Since the return from Kobol of Starbuck and Apollo and her earlier return from Caprica, she was held in some esteem by the rest of the crew. Always welcome at any table in the mess, or any game of Triad in the rec room. And yet she'd never felt so lonely. She managed to fool everyone of course; there was no way any of them knew Starbuck was struggling to fit back into the day to day routine of being on the ship.

She'd tried sleeping in the bunk room with the rest of the pilots. She'd only attempted that on her first night out of sickbay though. She'd woken from a nightmare in the middle of the night and was fairly sure she'd screamed in the process of doing so. So she'd snuck out of the room and sat in the briefing room accompanied by a bottle of Ambrosia, watching footage that had been cobbled together showing some of the Cylon attacks that'd occurred in the last couple of weeks. Attacks she'd not been there for. Neither had Apollo. And the footage more than made both those facts obvious. When they'd needed her she hadn't been there for them and she felt guilty.

Her thoughts once more returned to Lee. Apollo. Captain Adama. She knew he was probably struggling to settle in just as much as she was. Not that either of them would ever admit it; especially not to each other. Flashes of memory flew through her head, momentarily taking her breath away. The smirk on his face as he'd seen her the first time after the initial attack; when she'd thought he'd been dead and wasn't sure how to deal with that knowledge. She remembered the look of disbelief on his face at the party for Colonial Day when she'd surprised him by wearing a dress and looking like the girl he'd want her to be. That thought was closely followed by the look of anger on his face when they'd seen each other the following morning, and the fight that occurred between them; both of them reacting instinctively to her mistake with Baltar. A quick glimpse of the two of them together in the caves on Kobol; finally admitting to the wants and desires they'd both been feeling for so long but previously been unable to admit to each other. Bitter memories of the events while being held by the Cylons flooded into her consciousness; the knowledge that Lee had seen what Leoben had done to her pushing all other thoughts away. It was enough to startle her from her introspection and bring her back to the game on Galactica.

She'd been playing Triad on instinct while she'd been thinking about recent occurrences. Yet she was still winning more than losing so she wasn't doing too badly. She realized most of the people who'd earlier been part of the game had now left, although she hadn't noticed them go. There were only three marines remaining at the table with her. One of them, Corporal Morris maybe, seemed to be looking at her intently. She flashed a grin in his direction and winked at him. A faint blush rose to his cheeks and he quickly looked back down at his cards. The hand ended with more winnings making their way in her direction. And that was the end of the games for the night. The remaining marines left the room leaving just Kara and Corporal Morris… if that was his name. She couldn't remember and it seemed rude to ask him now. She could tell from the look on his face and the way he'd been looking at her for the last few hands that he was expecting something from her. She couldn't work out how she felt about this situation. A normal Starbuck response would be 'what the hell' but after everything she'd been through, she wasn't sure she was ready to be close to someone like that again… unless his name happened to be Lee and even the thought of that felt beyond her grasp.

However the alternative, if she left this room, was to spend another night alone… remembering everything. That wasn't something she wanted either. She poured them both another Ambrosia; figuring more alcohol couldn't do anything but help the situation she'd somehow managed to get herself into. Her stomach rebelled slightly as the contents of her glass hit it; but she took a deep breath and gave a large Starbuck smile to the man before her.

The next couple of minutes passed in a blur as he moved towards her. There was none of the usual foreplay, it was straight to the act itself; which kind of suited Kara in her current frame of mind. The sooner it started, the sooner it was over. His lips met hers in a rush with an intensity that sent her into a spiral of flashbacks. What was his name? It was beginning to really bug her now but was something to focus on beside the current situation. Despite her best efforts he pushed her back against the wall behind where she stood and suddenly she was back in that room on Kobol. With Leoben. She made a noise, somewhere between a moan and a squeak and the corporal took that as a good sign.

Unfortunately for the poor man the noise she'd made was anything but a moan of pleasure. She struggled with him as she internally fought her own personal battle with Leoben, the distraction of working out his name no longer enough to distract her. A stray fist caught him on the cheek and he backed away from her with a stunned expression on his face. The look on her face was enough to convince him he was going to get nowhere with the renowned Starbuck and he left the room quickly; while he was still able to.

Kara barely noticed as she was still going through her own trauma. As unable to escape from reliving the memories as she'd been able to escape when the Cylons had held her and Lee captive. She slid slowly down the wall, caught in her thoughts. Tears slipped down her cheeks as the memories continued to flood her consciousness. The alcohol she'd so recently swallowed made its reappearance as her stomach finally gave in to the stress she'd put it through. She was completely unaware as she instinctively bent and threw up over the floor beside her and then pulled herself back upright.

She sat there for an indeterminate length of time. Movement from the spot simply more than she had the ability to do. She was caught reliving the nightmare that'd plagued her since her release from Sickbay. Now even her waking moments were being disturbed by the memories and there was nothing she could do to escape them.

****

Racetrack was walking down the corridor on the way back to the bunk room after returning from her shift. It had been a long day and she was looking forward to going to bed. The ship was quiet which was hardly surprising as it was the middle of the night and most sane people were in bed. She walked past the rec room and paused for a second as she thought she heard something. There was no noise though. Shaking her head she realized she was obviously more tired than she'd thought. She was just about to continue walking when she heard the sound again; and it was definitely not her imagination or tiredness. She turned and pushed the door to the rec room open slightly. Before her was a sight she'd never imagined she would see; Kara Thrace crying. She moved quietly into the room and over towards the stricken pilot.

She smelled the vomit on the floor and narrowly avoided it as she crouched down beside her, she saw a shell of the woman she knew and wondered what in the name of the Gods had happened in order to get her in this state. Tentatively she reached a hand out towards her and touched her gently on the arm. Kara didn't even react to it; it was as if she was in a trance. Carefully she managed to get Kara to her feet and then shepherded her out of the room and back towards the bunkroom.

They were making their way slowly down the corridor when Helo turned the corner, walking towards them. Concern washed across his face immediately upon seeing Starbuck and he rushed over to where they were standing. "Racetrack, what's wrong with Kara?" He bent down to look at Kara's face; shocked by what he saw. "Kara… Kara, it's Karl; are you okay?" There was still no reaction.

"I found her like this in the rec room. Should we take her to Sickbay?"

"While it may be the place for her, I don't think she'd thank you for it. I think she may just be drunk. Let's get her back to quarters and let her sleep it off." Both of them doubted that was the only reason for her to be in this state but were more than aware they'd be facing the wrath of Starbuck if they took her to Sickbay. Karl vowed he'd try and speak to her about it when they got up in the morning. It seemed Lee had been right when he'd said earlier that looks could be deceiving.

Helo and Racetrack managed to get her into her bunk and Karl drew the curtain, knowing the light in the morning would be more than unwelcome. Racetrack nodded to Karl and then left the room to go back to the rec room to clear up the mess and then on to her own bunk. Karl sat on the edge of his bed, which was directly opposite hers and looked at the curtain he'd just pulled. He knew something needed to be done to get the two of them to open up about what happened on Kobol to them; whatever it was it was something neither of them had told anyone about. Something the two of them were struggling to deal with; made even harder by the fact they were avoiding each other. In true Apollo/Starbuck fashion they were making it harder for either of them to deal with whatever it was.

He sat there for almost an hour. After a few minutes, pulling the curtain back slightly, wanting to check she was sleeping peacefully. She wasn't, she was still awake and unresponsive. Whatever it was that was bothering her, he hoped she'd talk to someone about it soon. He'd only ever seen her like this once before. After Zak died. Those first few weeks after she'd got to Galactica he'd seen how she'd been. Even then she'd at least spoken to him about it. And she'd had Commander Adama to talk to. This time though she seemed to be unable to talk to anyone about it. He only hoped that would change soon.

****

As soon as he'd returned to duty Lee knew that he wouldn't be able to sleep in the brig anymore. That didn't mean he was going to sleep in the pilots quarters though. So he'd taken to sleeping in his office. There was a couch in the room which was a little worn and not that comfortable to sleep on but it was better than nothing. It wasn't like he got a lot of sleep anyway. Whereas in the first week he'd done nothing but sleep, now sleep was something he could only dream about while lying on his lumpy couch. He was seriously considering going to see Cottle about some sort of sleeping aid but he knew that would only lead to too many questions being asked. Questions he wasn't ready to answer. He didn't think Cottle would give him them anyway. And if he did he'd probably lose his flight status again; which was the last thing he needed.

Since he'd left the rec room earlier, he'd been trying to finish the never-ending stream of reports that his job seemed to create but his mind was caught on what he'd seen earlier. The look on her face when she had a great hand; she was pretty good at hiding the signs but she had a tell when it came to Triad and he knew exactly what it was; although he'd never her know that.

He'd seen the way some of the marines had been looking at her and he knew what they were thinking. Gods, he'd had the same thoughts many a time and he couldn't blame them for doing so. Unfortunately his mind had been unkind for the last few hours and had convinced him exactly what was happening in the rec room as the evening wore on. He'd tried to concentrate on the reports he'd been reading but found himself reading the same paragraph close to twelve times and still having no clue as to what was written.

Trying to find another way to clear his mind he'd removed his jacket and pants, stripping down to his vests and pulling on some shorts. He began to do press ups; determined to push his muscles past the point of exhaustion. He reached thirty and his brain was still betraying him as he thought back to the times he'd seen Kara doing the same thing as he was now. His body began to scream in pain as he reached fifty but he carried on regardless; still hoping to forget. The muscles in his arms quivered with the strain as he pushed on through to sixty. Still he continued. The vests clung damply to his body with the sweat that pooled on it as he powered through seventy and then eighty. He repeated her name in his head like a mantra as he forced his arms to maintain their rise and fall until he reached one hundred. His body protested one final time as he slowly crawled to the couch just a few feet from where he'd been. Collapsing onto it in welcome relief had been his last conscious thought before he lapsed into sleep.

That was several hours ago and now he was awake and mentally preparing himself for the task he was about to face. He'd been notified of the meeting the previous day just after he'd returned from CAP and it was what had spurred him to go to the rec room the previous night. He needed to get used to being in the same room as her; had to learn to deal with it because that was what he was about to endure for several hours. He knew it was going to be challenging.

It was with much regret that he made his way out of his office and towards the Situation Room. Each step took him closer to where he really didn't want to be; but he knew he wouldn't get away with not turning up. There was only so far he could push his father; and this would be too much. It wasn't like he had any real choice anyway; Admiral Cain and the President were both going to be there later in the day. And after all he was the good little soldier and would always follows the orders of his senior officers. Wasn't he?

As he entered his destination he made his way to the table and gazed blankly at papers that were strewn over it. The door to the room opened and he looked up to see Lieutenant Gaeta enter the room carrying more rolls of paper. "Captain Adama, sir."

"Lieutenant." Felix put the papers on the table and began to unroll them. Lee walked round to where he stood and looked closer at the papers. His right hand moved towards one sheet and he pulled it over so that he could examine it more. On the various sheets were maps of systems in their vicinity which had been obtained from Astrometrics both on Galactica and Pegasus over the previous few months. He spotted a couple of planets that looked as if they could be worth investigation for re-supplying the food within the fleet. He was just starting to calculate an FTL jump when the room suddenly became a lot busier; and much tenser as well.

Helo and Tigh walked into the room and took positions around the table. Close behind them was Kara; who looked a little pale. She barely acknowledged anyone in the room; just took her place between Helo and Gaeta. She also looked at the maps spread out before them. The small group quickly began to discuss the issues that faced them in the surrounding area. Soon their discussions turned to the true meaning of the meeting. What Kara and Lee had discovered on Kobol about the route to Earth. Both of them were able to give those assembled the details they were able to ascertain in the tomb. From looking at the maps Gaeta had brought to the meeting, they knew the direction they needed to go in; which just left the decision of which route to take to get there. This was where the discussion, which had been mild and congenial, turned more heated. Slap bang in the middle of it all was Kara and Lee; disagreeing as was par of the course in recent times. It all began as they were looking at a distant cluster of planets and moons.

"I think we can use these planets as a stopping point in order to replenish the fleet. This one here looks like it may have some Tylium we can use." Lee stated as he pointed towards a far point on the map he'd been looking at before most of them arrived.

Kara stared at him; unable to discern if he was being serious; she knew in her heart that what he'd just said was a mistake, she just had to try and get Lee Adama to understand that. "I think we should be heading in this direction, away from there and towards this nebula." His eyes looked at her quickly and she saw the wave of annoyance wash over his face. She tried not to react to it; but could feel the anger beginning to bubble within her. She knew he was going to say she was wrong and she wasn't sure she had the energy to persuade him otherwise. Not because she thought she'd lose but going up against Lee was something you shouldn't do with a hangover and barely any sleep. She'd done that before after the whole Baltar incident and look how well that'd turned out.

They stared at each other heatedly; neither one willing to giving an inch. Saul Tigh sighed as he and the rest of the room observed the two hotheaded people in front of them. Now wasn't the time to be arguing about this. They needed to get ready for presenting the options to the Admiral, Commander and President that afternoon. "Are you two going to stand there all day? We've got work to do. We don't have time for your petty squabbles." He could feel a headache coming on and he could sure as hell use a drink. That would have to wait until later in the day. Unfortunately without a drink he definitely didn't have the strength or temper to deal with Starbuck and Apollo at loggerheads with one another.

The tension in the room didn't lessen after his words, but both Lee and Kara moved away from each other once more; both reverting to looking at the maps on the table. Trying to maintain a professional relationship around each other; both failing miserably. Internally both of them were fuming; both from the exchange that'd occurred between the two of them and from the rebuke from the Colonel. Neither of them really able to concentrate on the proceedings of the meeting after this.

The occupants of the room received a respite mid-shift as they all went their separate ways to get some much needed lunch. Saul was quick to leave the room, finally free to go and get the drink he'd been longing for all morning. Gaeta went, eager to leave the tense atmosphere, having arranged to meet Dualla for lunch in the mess hall. Karl hurried off as he'd managed to secure some time to see Sharon in the brig. He'd not seen her for a couple of days and he was more than ready to now; even if it was through bars.

Once the three of them left the room, only Lee and Kara remained. She stood staring at him; barely hiding her disgust. He studiously continued to look at the papers on the table. Without looking up he spoke, "Something I can do for you, Lieutenant?"

"I wouldn't know where to start." She paused; collecting her thoughts before she persisted with the conversation they were destined to have. "I can't believe you were spouting all that crap earlier." He looked up at her, blinking rapidly as he absorbed the venom in her tone. "You know I'm right; we should be going the way I said. You just won't back down and admit you may be wrong."

It wasn't just what she said that really got to him, but the way she said it. "And what makes you think your solution is any better than mine, Lieutenant?" The last word was almost spat out.

"Well, Captain," Kara hit back with just as much disdain in her voice as she said his rank, "the area you're proposing we take the fleet to is the most obvious route we'd take, which would mean it's also the most logical place for the Cylons to look for us. Especially given the fact there's possibly Tylium on one of the planets. It's a completely textbook plan. My solution's a less direct route to the same final destination. There are several nebulas' within the region we can use as hiding places. There are also planets we may be able to use for fresh food sources." She paused and continued to stare at him, wondering how she could get through to him; to convince him of what she'd said. "Can't you see, the Cylons are less likely to think we'd go that way? They're machines, they more likely to assume we'd go the obvious route. They'd think we'd do exactly what you're suggesting, Captain. You should try thinking outside the box sometimes, sir." By the end of her speech they were standing toe to toe; in each other's faces and Kara had her hands on her hips. Sparks were flying between them and in other circumstances she probably would've kissed him. However, she was far too pissed off with him to give in to the temptation to do so.

"You're telling me I think like a Cylon?" The shock at that one comment from her was written all over his face.

"When you're planning a mission; sometimes, yes." She stared at him; any hint of the emotions she was feeling removed from her face.

He couldn't believe she'd said that. That she could compare him to a Cylon was about the worst thing she could possibly say to him. He struggled to come up with a response to her words but found he couldn't think of anything to say. All he knew was he wanted to hurt her so badly and at this point he'd do anything to hurt her as badly as she'd hurt him. It wasn't only what she'd just said, but that was the final straw. "So tell me, Lieutenant, as you're obviously the expert. Do I frak like a Cylon as well?" As soon as he'd said the words he moved past her; shoulders colliding as he made his way out of the room; needing to get out of the room before he said anything else.

His words were like a punch in the gut and tears pooled in her eyes as she stood in the same place for several minutes. She knew she'd probably deserved what he'd just said to her and that he was just trying to hurt her but his words also brought back memories of the events he was referring to. She left the room and made her way back to her bunk; suddenly no longer needing food.

TBC

A/N2: So there you go... not Cylons (like most people suspected) but Pegasus. Kara and Lee have now really reached an all-time low in their relationship. Hopefully things will improve in the future. Anyway same rules as last time... lots of reviews before the next chapter is posted.


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary - This story is very dark and will contain violence and scenes that may be difficult reading. **

**Set after Kara returns from Caprica – oh and she never met Sam (yay!)**

**A/N: Thanks to everyone who reviewed the last chapter... Sorry for the delay in posting - with crashing my car and work and Christmas, RL has been a little manic... There are a lot of twists and turns in this chapter, some of which will become important in the next chapters.  
**

**Chapter 16.**

Admiral Helena Cain made her way from the hangar deck, following behind Commander William Adama and the President of the Twelve Colonies. She still couldn't believe the President of the Twelve Colonies was a former primary school teacher! Trying to work out how this happened, she'd read the logs ferried over to Pegasus from Galactica with interest. She'd read about the events they'd been through and was extremely interested to read about the infamous Starbuck and Apollo in action. She'd heard about both of them before the attacks on the colonies. They'd both made quite an impression at the Academy and she'd been quite interested in both of them as pilots in her crew when they'd graduated. Then there'd been the small blot on Thrace's record after the incident at Colonial Flight School. She was pretty sure she'd read that Apollo was going to be assigned to test pilot school, working on the next Viper. Obviously everything had changed since the attack. So looking at the records from Galactica she'd studied with interest the challenges the two pilots had faced.

She'd read about Apollo's raid on the Tylium planet a few months ago and had been suitably impressed. She'd read accounts of fights with Cylon Raiders where Starbuck's flying had been beyond that seen anywhere within the fleet, even pre-attack. She knew there had to be something about the two of them that wasn't quite so perfect. Nobody could be that good… could they? Maybe it was time she ruffled a few feathers and made her mark upon the newly reunited Fleet.

All that said, she'd been on or around Galactica for over a week now and this would be the first time she'd come into contact with either of them. She was almost beginning to think they were avoiding her. She was looking forward to the briefing they were about to receive as she wanted to see exactly what the two of them were really like. What made them tick and whether either of them would really be a benefit to her crew, like she suspected they would.

The three walked into the Situation room and the tension in the air battered them as they made their way to the table at the center of the room. The atmosphere left a bitter taste in Helena's mouth and she quickly scanned the room to determine where the tension was emanating from. She noticed the distaste evident on Kara Thrace's face and the scathing look she was sending towards Lee Adama was also clearly on show. She turned her attention to Lee Adama, who was standing stiffly on the opposite side of the table and was noticeably avoiding meeting her gaze. So apparently the younger Adama had done something to piss off the young pilot to her left. Obviously something had happened between the two of them. She also couldn't help but notice that both Commander Adama and Laura Roslin appeared to be ignoring the mood of the room. 'Interesting,' she thought before she turned her attention to Colonel Saul Tigh as he began to address the room.

****

The meeting was finished and Bill Adama was more than ready to leave the room. While he knew the meeting had been a success and they were now surer of the various options open to them on how to proceed with the route to Earth, the tense atmosphere had made the room oppressive. He couldn't quite put his finger on it but he was more than aware it had something to do with his son and Kara. He sighed deeply as he made his way back to his office. He needed a drink; in fact maybe he needed more than just one.

This wasn't the first time in the last week he'd been driven to drink by events that occurred. In fact it was becoming quite a habit. His relationship with both Lee and Kara had changed vastly since before Kara went back to Caprica all those months ago. Was he silly to wish things were still the same as they were then? Anything would be better than the current situation.

He heard her footsteps walking behind him and a smile appeared on his face. He felt her hand slip through his arm and the smile grew even further. "Madam President." He said to the woman beside him.

"Commander Adama." They continued to walk in silence for a couple of minutes until they returned to his office. She sat on the sofa in the room and he walked over to his desk and poured them both a drink. He sat beside her and handed her one of the glasses. "Well, the meeting was… interesting."

He choked on the laughter that spilled from his throat. "That's one way of putting it, to be sure."

"I wasn't the only one who noticed the atmosphere in the room then?"

"I think CIC were aware of the tension in that room." He paused. "Not exactly showing the Admiral my crew in their best light, am I?"

"I'm fairly sure the atmosphere in that room had nothing whatsoever to do with you. It wasn't your doing. There's obviously something going on with Lee and Kara; it's been going on since they were rescued on Kobol. Isn't there something you can do? Maybe you need to speak to them about it. Maybe they should speak to a counselor?"

"I can't force them to talk to me or anyone, Laura. As much as I want to. Doc Cottle's already spoken to me about it as well, but we decided it wouldn't be a good idea to make them go to one. Believe me, I've tried it before. If I force the issue, it'll just make them clam up even more than they have already. Neither of them will open up to anyone if they're ordered to do so, I can guarantee it. If anything it'd just make it even worse than it already is."

"Well, let's hope one of them decides to speak to you or someone before something bad happens."

"Let's hope so." Bill agreed with her, although he had a sinking feeling that had already occurred.

****

Guilt had hit him as soon as he'd left the Situation Room before lunch. Even now he still couldn't believe he'd said that to Kara. He felt sick as the words rang through his head. He was the lowest form of person still living. With a sickening realization he knew he'd just killed any chance of ever getting back with her; there'd be no way she'd want to be anywhere near him from now on and he couldn't say he blamed her. He didn't want to be around himself at the moment either. He looked at the glass that was sitting on the desk, just inches from his face. As soon as he'd got back to his office after their confrontation, the full bottle of Ambrosia he'd been saving since he won it in a particularly lucky evening of Triad had been recovered from the drawer in his desk. Before he had to go back to meet with everyone back in that room he'd managed to gulp down a glass, wanting to wash away the bitter taste that had been left in his mouth by his words. The meeting had gone as slowly as he knew it would and all he could think about was getting back to this office and having another drink… or three. The briefing had finished almost an hour ago and he was the first to leave the room, desperate with hope that he wouldn't have to speak to anyone else for the remainder of the day. Despite still being on duty, albeit for only another thirty minutes or so, he was well into his third glass when there was a knock on his door.

****

Kara had gone back to her bunk after the meeting had ended. The last place she wanted to be was with anyone. She hoped once she was back in her bunk she'd be left on her own after her curtain was drawn. She was wrong. Only minutes had passed before the curtain moved slightly. She closed her eyes, hoping that whoever it was would think she was asleep.

"We need to talk, Kara." It was Karl. Kara sighed and opened her eyes, turning her head slightly to see him crouching down beside her bunk. Wearily she closed her eyes once more. "You can't keep ignoring this, Kara." His words were met with more silence. "Budge over." She looked at him quickly. After several seconds of staring into his eyes, she reluctantly moved across the bunk towards the far wall. While she was doing this Karl stood and walked to the entrance of the room. Grabbing a pair of boots from the floor, he placed them outside the door and then shut it quietly. He hadn't expected her to give in so easily and the last thing he needed now was to get interrupted. He quickly walked over to her bunk again, toeing off his boots before climbing on the bed beside her.

She was staring at him again, a small smirk on her face. "Karl, I didn't realize this was what you meant…" Her smile grew as she spoke. "I never realized you felt this way, I'm touched, really."

"Shut it, Kara." There was a grin on his face that matched hers. A grin that disappeared as he finally turned to the subject he really wanted to talk to her about. "Do you want to tell me what happened between you and Lee today?"

Hearing his words was enough to make her lie back down on the bed as the grin fell from her face to be replaced by a frown. She stared at the bottom of the bunk above her head. "Nothing."

"Don't lie to me, Kara. It was obvious something had happened between you after we came back from lunch. Frak, an idiot could tell there's something wrong with both of you. I've seen it myself. Things are different between you. I know something happened on Kobol and you don't need to go into specifics, in fact I'd rather you didn't, but I saw you in that room on Kobol. I saw how you were with each other and you're about as far away from that now as you've ever been."

"What do you want me to say Karl? We had a fight. It wasn't our first and I seriously doubt it'll be our last. It's what we do." She was avoiding his eyes again.

He was now lying on his back beside her but he didn't need to look at her to know she was lying. "It was far from that and you know it. I've seen you after fights before and you don't usually hide in your bunk avoiding people. Usually you get drunk and frak someone."

"Been there, tried that, you saw the results."

"We can talk about that instead if you want." He paused while he continued to stare at the bunk above his head. He knew how she reacted without even looking towards her. "Don't look at me like that, you brought up the subject." He paused before rolling over to face her. "Talk to me, Kara. Tell me something, anything. You can't keep going like this. You look like shit…"

"Thanks, Karl."

"Well, you do. You obviously haven't slept in a while. It's not good for you." He took her hand in his, hoping she'd finally open up to him. "Kara, I'm your best friend, I just want to help you. You can tell me anything and you know it'll go no further. And if you don't want to talk to me then talk to a counselor or someone."

"The last person I want to talk to is a counselor." Silence reigned in the bunk for several minutes. "I told Lee he thought like a Cylon. He didn't take it well."

"Why would you say that to him, Kara? You know how he feels about the Cylons. Most people feel the way he does, but frak, one of them almost killed his father." The irony of that statement was not lost on Karl, although he knew the Cylon guilty of that act wasn't his Sharon.

"I don't know, Karl. I just wanted to hurt him. I wanted to make him feel how I feel. I regretted it as soon as I said it but by then it was too late to take it back." A tear ran down her face as she spoke to Karl.

Helo wiped the tear from her cheek. "How do you feel, Kara?" His words were quiet.

She looked at him with wide eyes, tears pooling in them. Finally she took a deep breath and looked away from his eyes. "Worthless. A mess. Someone who shouldn't even be thinking about wanting to be with him."

Her words were barely a whisper but each syllable cut into his heart deeply. "Have you told him that?" She shook her head, causing more tears to fall. "Maybe you should."

"Believe me the last thing he'll want is to see me, never mind speak to me."

"Kara, I'm sure he'd feeling as bad about it all as you are. I may not know him as well as you do, but I know he'd never want to see you hurt like this. He cares for you, I know he does. You should talk to him; even if it's just to apologize for what you said to him earlier today."

****

She walked down the corridor and stopped outside the hatch that led to her destination; her hope was to achieve a goal she'd been aiming towards for months; possibly since the war had begun. She felt nervous and it wasn't just because she knew she was about to take a big risk; she was aware she could be stepping on some toes in pursuit of the man that fascinated her more than any other she'd known. Some pretty big toes belonging to a person that could do her a lot of harm if they chose to.

She knocked on the door hesitantly and when she heard him beckon her into the room she timidly opened the door popping her head around it. He was sitting there behind his desk; ignoring the fact she'd entered the room. "Captain Adama."

He looked up at the sound of her voice; realizing just who was encroaching into his personal space. He really wasn't interested in seeing her; he didn't want to see anyone if he was being perfectly honest with himself but he just wasn't the kind of person to turn someone away. The memory of his previous attitude to Kara flashed through his head and shame flooded through him. If only he'd been as generous with her earlier, maybe he wouldn't feel as bad as he did now. He quickly rose from his desk and moved to stand in front of it; the color in his cheeks rising a little as he saw her notice the glass and half empty bottle he was trying so desperately to hide. "What can I do for you, petty officer?"

Her eyes flew to meet his. "I wanted to see how you were. Felix told me there was quite a lot of tension in the meeting earlier. I just wanted to make sure you were okay. You haven't seemed yourself recently." Her words came out in a rush but she trailed off as she realized maybe she should've just kept quiet.

He turned from her and began to shuffle papers needlessly around his desk. Great, just about the last subject he wanted to talk about. He could barely think about it, he didn't want to talk about it. "I'm fine, Dee. There's nothing to worry about."

She took a step closer to him and her hand rose instinctively to touch his arm. "Now try saying it like you mean it…" she paused slightly before adding one word. "…sir."

He looked at her and noticed how close she was standing. He looked into the gentle eyes before him and got caught in her gaze. She was so different from what he usually looked for and yet there was something about her that intrigued him. Certainly no junior officer would usually speak to him this way… apart from Kara. He winced as that thought filtered into his brain, mentally kicking himself. It always came back to her; he wished it wouldn't because he just didn't know how to deal with it anymore. He just wanted it all to change; for things to be different; to be easier somehow. He acted on instinct, placing his lips on hers for a fraction of a second.

She was stunned when he suddenly kissed her but she reacted to the touch of his lips instantly. She deepened the kiss as she ran her hands up his arms bringing them together behind his neck. She'd never been kissed this way before and she knew it was something she wanted to happen again… often.

He just wanted this to end. He knew now it was a mistake but he was unsure how to get out of this mess without causing Dee too much pain. It was the least he could do; she didn't deserve this. And she certainly deserved better than him.

He pulled away from her trying to avoid seeing the disappointment that appeared in her eyes as he did so. He turned back to his desk and picked up his glass; draining it of it contents quickly. As he poured himself another, rather generous drink, he suddenly knew what he was going to have to say. "I can't do this, Dee." He could feel she was still standing right behind him and he could only imagine the look on her face. "I can't be that someone for you. It's not what I need right now. I'm not sure it ever will be. I'm not what you need right now. You should be with someone who'll be better for you than I ever could."

"How do you know what I need, Lee?"

"I just know what I can offer you would fall well below what you deserve. My heart wouldn't be in it. My heart's elsewhere."

"With a certain blonde pilot?" She stated bluntly. He took another large gulp of ambrosia from the glass, angrily swallowing it ignoring both the burn as he did so and her question. He turned to face her, looking at the glass he was still nursing rather than at her. "I don't understand what it is about her that has everyone so enthralled. It's not just you; it's practically the whole fleet. Even the Cylons seem infatuated with her." She knew she was sounding like some jealous wife but she really wanted to understand just what it was about Lieutenant Kara Thrace that meant she was always first choice. She studied him as he stared at his drink; saw for the first time since she'd entered the room just how unhappy he looked. "I should be going. I think there's a card game going on in the Rec room. I'm sorry I intruded. It won't happen again, don't worry."

"I'm sorry, Dee. Truly I am. If things were different then maybe…" He wasn't sure how to finish the sentence and Dee left it unnecessary for him to do so anyway.

"It's fine Lee. I'll leave you to your drink." She turned and left the room with as much dignity as she could muster, given the circumstances.

He watched her leave and then sat back at his desk again. He noticed his glass was once again empty and the temptation to fill it was overwhelming but he knew more alcohol would only lead him to make more mistakes like the one he'd just made with Dee. He needed to work out how he was going to escape from this self-destructive streak he seemed to be wallowing in.

****

Kara walked along the corridor, feeling much clearer about everything. Her talk with Karl had been helpful. While she hadn't gone into details about what happened on Kobol, the fact they'd discussed her argument with Lee and she had more perspective about everything now which she hadn't for many weeks. So now it was time to talk to Lee, calmly and to remain focused about what she wanted; needed; to say. She just hoped Lee would be willing to listen to her.

Her stomach was churning as she made her way closer to her destination. Just down the corridor from where his office was she had to stop to catch her breath and mentally prepare herself so she stood there for a couple of minutes. Finally she was ready to take this next big step.

When she was just meters from his office the door opened before her and she saw Dee leaving. For a second, time seemed to stop as the two of them were face to face. Kara for a second saw a flash of something that could have been anger pass over Dee's face but it was gone as soon as it appeared to be replaced by a small smile. A smile that was almost smug grew on her face as time passed and Kara tried her best to match it. In just seconds the moment between them had ended and Dee was continuing down the corridor.

Kara once again drew to a stop just in front of his door. Indecision was putting up a hefty fight with her previous determination. She bit her lip as she wondered whether she was really ready to do this. Karl's words came to her but did little to reassure her as to what she was going to do. The battle was over just seconds later as she heard footsteps within the office and she turned and ran back down the corridor. She'd come back later when she had a little more courage.

****

He'd sat at his desk thinking about everything for several hours before Dee arrived and since she'd left he moved to his 'bed' and did the same for some more as he stared up at the rivets in the ceiling above his head. He was still thinking as he stood in the shower the following morning. He now knew what he needed to do but he knew the decision he'd made wouldn't be a popular one with most people; specifically his father and the President.

He let the water from the shower flow over his body as he tried to wash away the tension that was ever present in his body these days. It did little to remove it; if anything it just heightened it further as thoughts of Kara edged into his consciousness unbidden. Just thinking about her was enough to make him aware of arousal beginning to stir within him. He tried to push the feelings down and turned the temperature of the water to freezing in the vain hope that would help. It did little to damp down his erection and his only option was to take matters into his own hand… so to speak. He was soon fully erect as he stroked his hand up and down his shaft. Still he couldn't quite build to his peak. He needed further stimulation and was more than aware that what he really needed was Kara. The water was now icy cold and yet the temperature in the cubicle was far from cold as thoughts of the fiery pilot entered his mind. His hand sped up as he continued to think about her. The look on her face the first time they'd made love, the feel of her in his arms as they'd slept after. The feel of her lips around him as he woke the next morning. It was the last memory that finally pushed him over the edge, leaving him gasping for air as he stood within the shower's icy flow.

Several minutes later he was able to leave the shower on shaky legs and struggle to put on his uniform. He sat at his desk again and opened a drawer. He rifled through its contents until he found what he was looking for and pulled the sheet of paper towards him. He then grabbed a pen and began to write. Once he'd finished, he got up from his desk and walked out of his office.

****

He walked down the corridor intent on reaching his destination and nothing else. He passed a couple of people as he walked along and then stopped when he noticed one person who could save him the trip. "Lieutenant Gaeta."

"Captain Adama."

"Lieutenant Gaeta, could you possibly pass this to Colonel Tigh for me? I think he's on duty in CIC."

"Of course sir." Felix took the paper from his hand, not realizing the importance of the small piece of paper now residing in his possession.

"Thanks for that." Lee felt a wave of relief wash over him as he knew his decision had been made. He just had to wait for the fireworks to begin. He turned and walked in the opposite direction, needing to get rid of the nervous energy coursing through his veins. The gym was now his intended target and he strode towards it with a sense of purpose in his step that hadn't been present for several weeks.

****

Lee entered CIC and saw Dee across the room, working at the communications console. A wave of guilt hit him which he quickly pushed away. Now wasn't the time for that. He walked towards his destination, knowing the reason he'd been summoned and mentally preparing himself for the conversation he knew he was about to face. "You wanted to see me, sir?" He spoke quietly to the man just feet from him.

The man raised his head and briefly met Lee's eyes before turning and walking out of CIC; Lee had no choice but to follow. They walked into his office, neither speaking the length of the journey. As Lee paused to close the door, Adama turned to face his son once he'd made his way behind his desk. He studied the man in front of him before turning his attention to the piece of octagonal paper placed between them. "What's the meaning of this?" he asked after a few minutes of silence, gesturing towards it. It was a question that didn't need answering, Bill was more than aware what it was, but he needed to hear Lee explain it.

"Exactly what it says it is." Was the less than helpful response he received.

Bill sighed; it was going to be another one of _those_ conversations. One of those where he wanted nothing more than to slam his son's head against his desk repeatedly until he knocked some sense into him. "And this is really what you want?" He had to ask, unable to believe the turn of events the last few days had thrown at them all. Everything seemed to be escalating beyond his control and he didn't like it. He didn't like it at all.

"Yes, Sir."

He looked down at the paper once more and could only stare at the two words emblazoned across the top of the sheet. Two words that were an example of just how out of control things seemed to be. Two small words that would have a huge impact on the rest of the crew; not just him. Two words that only highlighted to him just how much of a failure as a father he really was. Transfer request. Lee wanted a transfer to Pegasus. He took a seat and lifted his gaze to look once more at his son. He stared at him intently while Lee maintained his stance; standing rigidly to attention. Bill noticed the dark circles under his son's eyes and the strain that was evident in his face; the strain his whole body was screaming. "Take a seat, Lee." He did as asked but still refused to meet his father's eyes. "I find it hard to believe you'd rather be on Pegasus than here. There's no guarantee you'll be CAG." He paused, letting his words hang there. "You really want to be part of Cain's crew?" It was this that hurt him more than anything. Lee said nothing; still avoiding looking at his father. The silence continued, increasing the tension within the room; a tension that seemed to be present wherever his son was these days. It was only temporarily broken by a knock on the door. Bill sighed, wondering once more if he would ever truly understand his son. "Come in."

The door opened and Laura moved into the room with a smile on her face. A smile that disappeared as the atmosphere within the room hit her. "Am I interrupting?"

A smile flashed over Bill's face as he shook his head and gestured for Laura to come into the office. Laura sat on the couch at the side of the room and looked with concern at Lee. Lee was now avidly avoiding making eye contact with both the other occupants of the room. She could see he looked far from comfortable sitting in his current position. Bill turned to face the President, trying to see if he could make his son react in some way. "Captain Adama and I were just discussing this transfer request I received this morning."

She was stunned and a gasp slipped past her lips before she could stop it. Nobody had ever asked for a transfer request since the Cylon attack. "A transfer request? From who?" Neither of the two men responded to that question. Laura's head swiveled between the two of them, trying to work out what was going on. It was unheard of for someone within the crew to ask for a transfer. With a sinking realization she suddenly knew the request could only have come from one of two people and she knew exactly who the request had been made by. "Where does Lee want to transfer to?"

"Pegasus." His father answered for him; hopeful Laura would maybe be able to get a reaction from Lee.

Laura gasped again turning once more to face Lee. "You want to leave Galactica?"

Lee sighed heavily. He knew he was making the right decision; a decision that was best for him. Now he just had to convince the other two people in the room this was the case. The problem was he didn't think he had the strength within him for it; everything these days was so mentally draining. Both the President and his father were staring at him intently; he knew what they were trying to do. They were trying to get him to tell them what was going on. Why he wanted to leave. Another sigh slipped from his lips and he rose from his chair; suddenly feeling the urge to move. The more he moved around, the smaller and more oppressive the room became. It was all too much; he spun round to face two of the most important people in his life; rapidly losing any semblance of control he'd ever had possession of. "Yes I want to leave Galactica." He almost shouted the words and noticed the looks of shock wash over both their faces. "What? You think I like being on this ship?" A wry laugh flowed through the room; the pacing resumed. "Have either of you noticed the last few weeks? Being on this ship; being around here every day is killing me. I can't do this anymore. I need a break from it all. Pegasus is the opportunity for that to happen." He turned away from the two of them, once more unable to face the looks on their faces. "I'm not supposed to be under your command anyway, Dad. In normal circumstances we wouldn't be on the same ship." He paused, trying to regain control of his rapidly fraying emotions. "I realize these aren't normal circumstances, but we can put this all right again. I need to transfer off this ship. Pegasus is my chance to do that." He turned back to face them, bringing himself to attention before them; seeing the resignation written on both of their faces as the impact of his words hit them both full force. Focusing his gaze on a point above his father's head, he stood and waited. "Permission to be excused, sir?"

Bill knew he was going to get no further with this conversation tonight and he wasn't really sure what to say to his son anymore. "Granted." He watched as the young man before him turned and made his way out of the room; not missing the look of relief as it appeared on his face. As soon as Lee left the office he felt the weight of Laura's gaze. He took a deep breath and turned his attention to her once more.

"You're going to let him go, aren't you?" Her face showed her worry; almost as much worry as he was feeling.

"What choice do I have? Most of the things he just said were valid points. It's his right to ask for a transfer."

"But you do know he doesn't really want to leave, don't you."

"Much as I hate to admit it, I think we both really know the reason behind this sudden decision. I hoped he'd admit to it earlier, but that wasn't case." He sighed.

"Then we need to work out a way to get him to change his mind." A determined look appeared on her face.

He stared at her and contemplated the woman opposite him. "Maybe he should go to Pegasus." He couldn't believe he was about to give in to this so easily. "Maybe some time away from everything, from Kara, will change things." He looked at the paperwork that was lying there so innocently on his desk. He picked up a pen and signed the bottom of the sheet, authorizing the request. "That doesn't mean I can't make things a little easier for him when he's over there."

"What are you thinking?"

"I'm thinking that another transfer should be made. Someone that can be there for Lee, for anything that Pegasus throws at him."

"Just who are you planning of sending?"

"I have someone in mind – I just need to speak to them about it first. I'll let you know once I have it sorted."

TBC

A/N2: Please review (I'm not too proud to beg). Because of the festive period, I'm unsure when I'll be able to update again... it might not be until the new year as I will be away and won't have easy access to a pc. I will try and update before Wednesday but I can't promise.


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary - This story is very dark and will contain violence and scenes that may be difficult reading. **

**Set after Kara returns from Caprica – oh and she never met Sam (yay!)**

**A/N: Happy New Year to you all. As previously warned, a small delay in updating occurred because of the festive season, also there were a couple of extra scenes I felt needed to be put in this chapter which delayed me even further. Now I've added them in so here's the next chapter in my story. Enjoy!  
**

**Chapter 17.**

Karl was glad the day had finally ended. It'd definitely been a strange one; now though he just wanted to get some rest. He was lying in his rack trying to do just that when the curtain cutting him off from the rest of the room was quickly flung back. To reveal an irate Starbuck standing looking into his bunk, other pilots that were previously going about their business as usual were now keenly observing them. Apparently scuttlebutt was working as efficiently as ever within the crew. Not a huge surprise – he'd been expecting her to turn up at some stage. The timing couldn't be worse though. He'd not long finished a shift in CIC, which'd been preceded by a shift with the deck crew. He was beyond tired; he just wanted to sleep for hours, but that seemed to be nothing more than a pipedream now. He almost laughed as he realized how the situation had reversed from just a couple of days earlier. It appeared though this conversation would be very much in public. He sighed quietly; refraining from looking at the woman he knew was staring at him. There was no way he was going to be the one to start this conversation.

That didn't seem like it was going to be an issue as Kara was more than ready to do enough talking for both of them. "Were you going to tell me?" It was more an accusation than a question.

He let the question hang in the air for almost a minute before he answered. "Tell you what?"

She stared at him harshly and then spoke, "I don't know… the situation in CIC, how many Cylons we ran into today. What do you think I mean? Were you going to tell me you're leaving Galactica?"

Her words gave him an idea of just how pissed she was at the moment. Another sigh slipped past his lips. "Commander Adama spoke to me about it this morning. Admiral Cain wants me as part of her crew. She's short of experienced officers since the initial attack and I seem to fit the bill."

"And that's why you're going? You got an offer you couldn't refuse and you're going, just like that." She shook her head, disgust written all over her face. "I kind of expected more from you, Karl."

He turned his head to face her for the first time since they'd started 'talking'. He saw the fiery look in her eyes and just looking at the way she was standing did little to diffuse the ever increasing tension that'd swept throughout the room. She now wasn't the only one who was pissed off. "Yeah, I got an offer I couldn't refuse. Hell, I was flattered by the offer from the Admiral, but that's not why I'm doing this. My reasons are much more than that." He paused trying to regain control of himself before he spoke again. "How long have we known each other, Kara? It must be close to six years now. You should know me better than that." As they spoke their voices had become louder and he finally noticed the room had fallen silent as their conversation escalated. His eyes moved quickly around the room and he noticed for the first time the room was now empty. Starbuck in full throttle was enough to scare most people away. His gaze returned to her face. She was staring at him once again, a determined look on her face. "I'm not the only one leaving you know." The determination was gone from her face in an instant.

Her eyes left his as she refused to meet his gaze. He swung his legs over the side of his bunk and sat up. He sat looking at her and eventually she took a seat beside him. "So what are your reasons?" she asked in a quiet voice.

He said nothing for several seconds which then stretched into minutes. Finally he spoke, "the Commander said Sharon wouldn't be in a cell anymore. She'd be moved to quarters, still under guard, but out of the cell. That's why I'm doing this." He looked at her out of the corner of his eye and took in her profile. "My baby won't be born and raised in a cell. That's the reason I'm doing this. It won't be easy not seeing her as often as I'd like, but things will be better for her than they are now and that is what's important to me. Adama asked something else of me as well." Her eyes met his for an instant before she moved them away to look anywhere but at him. He wanted to tell her, but waited until she made him tell her.

She did just that just moments later. "What did he ask?"

"He wants me to keep an eye on Lee." He waited for a reaction from her but didn't get one. "He's in a bad place at the moment and he asked for a transfer to Pegasus yesterday. The Commander doesn't want him to go there on his own, so he asked me to go with him. Watch his back; be there for him if he needs it." He turned in time to see the guilt flash over her face; guilt that disappeared as quickly as it came. She moved from the bed and began to pace around the room. He studied her as she moved, recognizing the turmoil she was going through as that he'd seen when they talked the other day. "Are we going to discuss it?"

She looked at him nervously as she continued to pace around the room. "No."

"It seems to me Apollo isn't the only one who's in a bad place at the moment." He paused, giving her the opportunity to say something, to dispute what he'd just said, but she didn't even attempt that. "Talk to me, Kara. I don't want to push you to talk to me about what happened to the two of you while you were down on Kobol but it's obviously affected both of you deeply." Another pause but still there was no reaction from her. "I thought you were going to go and talk to him after we spoke the other day. Why are you still pushing him away? The last time I spoke to you, you were going to go and sort things out with him. Shouldn't you be having this conversation with Lee and not me? You're dealing with whatever this is about as well as Lee is, and by that I mean you aren't dealing with it at all. You both need to start talking to someone before one of you breaks; maybe you should try communicating with each other." There still wasn't a reaction from Kara and he was getting to the point where there wasn't much left for him to say. "Look, all I'm trying to say is, if you need to talk to someone about it then I'm here for you but really the person who can understand whatever it is that's affecting better than anyone else is Lee, so maybe you should talk to him about it."

"I can't…" her words were barely audible. She finally stopped pacing which was good as it had been making him feel dizzy.

At least she was finally admitting something was wrong. "Well, then maybe Commander Adama. I'm sure once you talk about whatever it is, it won't be that bad."

"I can't talk about it to anyone, Karl. It's not something I ever want to speak to anyone about. I just want to pretend it didn't happen."

"You've been doing that since you got out of sickbay and it doesn't seem to be working. I'm not trying to pressure you Kara, really I'm not. It's just both you and Lee are trying to cope with whatever happened to you and I think it's fair to say, both of you are doing a pretty lousy job of it."

"Gods, don't try to sugar coat it, Karl." She paused a little, contemplating her next words. "I'm still not ready at the moment to tell anyone about it, but I'll think about what you've said." She started to move out of the room but turned after just a couple of steps, looking at the floor as she spoke again. "Look after Lee for me." She was then gone from the room as Karl sat watching her leave.

He shook his head slowly and then moved back into his rack, shutting the curtain briskly behind him. It was time to get some much needed rest. At least there was no one around now to disturb him from doing so.

****

Helena Cain walked from her quarters towards CIC. As she walked down the corridor she met Colonel Fisk, who was walking in the same direction. "Colonel." She greeted him with a small smile.

"Admiral." He fell into step beside her as they continued to walk.

"Commander Adama contacted me late yesterday. There are a couple of pilots who want to transfer to our crew. I've received copies of their files from Galactica for you to read. I'd be grateful if you could then pass them to Captain Taylor for him to look at as well."

A look of surprise had appeared on Fisk's face at her first words. "It's surprising for two officers to request a transfer. I'd have thought we'd have to force Adama to relinquish pilots." He paused slightly as he saw the gleam in her eyes, as she turned to face him. "Is it anyone interesting?"

There was a self-satisfied grin on her face now. She was more than pleased with the identities of both pilots, even more so after reading their files. "Very interesting indeed. Lieutenant Karl Agathon and Captain Lee Adama."

"The Commander's son?" The look of shock on his face was now almost amusing to Helena.

"Yes. The Commander's son is most eager to be a part of this crew. Having seen his file I think he will be a welcome addition to the squadron."

"I'm sure he will, Admiral."

By this time they'd reached CIC and both made their way to the central console. Helena Cain was passed some reports by Hoshi. Having garnered that everything was as it should be she took the reports she'd been given and made her way down the corridor into her office.

****

Lee couldn't believe how much of a relief the last couple of days had been. Since his father had agreed to the transfer and Admiral Cain had offered him a position within her crew he'd felt like a weight had been lifted off his shoulders. He'd given up the position of CAG just twenty four hours earlier; to Kara of all people. Fortunately there'd been little need for much of a handover although the thirty minutes when he'd gone through the outstanding paperwork and his notes with her had been far from easy. Other than that short time he hadn't seen her and that was something he was glad of. Most of the time anyway.

Now he was packing up his stuff and leaving Galactica for the last time. He hadn't accumulated a lot of stuff while he'd been here. In fact most of his possessions were uniforms. He hadn't exactly been expecting a long visit when he'd first turned up on Galactica; it was only supposed to be a day stopover before he returned to Atlantia. So his personal belongings were few and far between. Just as he was checking his locker to ensure there was nothing left in it, there was a knock on the hatch. "Come in."

The door opened and his dad walked into the room. "Lee." Bill looked at his son as he entered the room. It was the first time he seen Lee since they'd discussed his transfer just forty-eight hours earlier and he could help but notice the tension appeared to have left him in that relatively short time. While Bill was still unsure it was the right decision for Lee to leave Galactica, he couldn't help but see that Lee looked a lot better than he had done in a long time.

"Dad, have a seat." Lee was more relaxed around his father now and then again he also wasn't.

"I brought something for you. To take with you to Pegasus." Lee turned to his father, obviously unsure what to expect. Bill pulled an object that he'd had behind his back and placed it on the table in front of his son. It was a photo album. "I know you don't have much stuff from before you came to Galactica and I thought maybe you'd like this. Its got photo's of Zak and your mother in there. Photo's from when you were children."

Lee ran his hand over the cover reverently. "Thanks for this, dad. I'll look after it."

"I know you will." He paused and studied his son. "Look after yourself as well. Please." Lee nodded, suddenly unable to find any words. He placed the album within his bag and fastened the zip. He moved to stand before his father and the elder man pulled him into a hug. Lee was taken back by the emotion that'd been evident on his dad's face. Bill pressed a kiss to his son's forehead and then pulled away. Lee picked up his bag and helmet and moved towards the door. Bill trailed behind him as they made their way to the hangar deck. When they finally got there they were met by a group of pilots; there to see Lee off. Eleven pilots stood in a line, leading to the Raptor that was taking him over to his new commission. As Bill and Lee walked across the room the pilots all drew to attention and saluted Lee.

Lee was stunned. He hadn't been expecting this and for the first time since he'd made this decision he was beginning to wonder if it was really a good idea. He dropped his bag and helmet to the ground and then turned to face the pilots drawing himself to attention in front of them as he did so. Somebody started clapping and the rest of the pilots and deckhands joined in. He picked up his belongings once more and then walked up the ramp of the Raptor. Just before he walked into it he turned back to face the hangar deck once again and his eyes swept around the expansive room. Somehow he'd thought she'd be there. He realized it was a foolish hope; they barely spent any time together these days but he'd wanted to see her one last time before he left and thought she'd feel the same way. He was apparently wrong but he knew it was his fault. The words he'd said to her rang in his ears once more and he knew that more than enough reason for her to not be here. He couldn't delay it any more. He turned back and took the final steps into the Raptor.

****

Kara stood on the walkway above the hangar bay, in the shadows it naturally provided, watching Lee leave the ship. She felt a lump form in her throat as the assembled pilots all saluted him and she knew she should be down there with them. She couldn't believe he was really leaving the ship. It'd been just over a day since Karl had told her they were both leaving but she'd been unable to speak to Lee about it; almost trying to fool herself into believing it was all a big misunderstanding. If she admitted it was happening then it would definitely be true. Now though there was no escaping the fact he was going. Both of them were going and Kara felt an immense sense of loss as both of her friends had walked onto the hangar deck preparing for their departure. She'd almost been forced to face up to the reality when Lee had handed over the reins of being Galactica's CAG. She'd wanted to say something to him then; to try to persuade him to stay here; to stay with her; but as she opened her mouth to start she remembered what he'd said to her during the day of the briefing for the Admiral and her mouth went dry leaving her unable to say anything. Now she'd left it too late and could kick herself for not saying something when she had the chance.

She saw him looking around the hangar deck and instinctively took a step back, ensuring she was hidden in the shadows. She thought she saw a look of disappointment mar his face for some time before he turned around and walked onto the Raptor. The door to the Raptor closed just moments later and they – he – was gone. She watched as the pilots left the deck and then the Commander also walked slowly from the room. She couldn't bring herself to leave; insanely hoping the Raptor would reappear and they'd both come back. She stayed for at least two hours before finally admitting the truth to herself and then walking back to the CAG's office.

****

She walked up to the office that was now hers and paused before she reached for the door handle. It didn't seem right to call it that somehow. Her office. It was still somewhat of a surprise, to her at least, that she'd been offered the position. Admittedly she was probably the most experienced officer available for the position but it still bemused her a little that she would be given the responsibility given her propensity acting first and thinking about it later.

"Starbuck, what do you hear?" filtered down the corridor and she turned to face the Commander as he walked towards her.

"Nothing but the rain, sir." She responded automatically, although she was unable to meet his eyes as she said the words that were so familiar to her.

"Then grab your gun and bring in the cat." He responded, a small smile creeping onto his face. His smile faltered slightly as he took in her appearance and knew instinctively she was a shadow of the Kara he'd first met. Given that occurred just after Zak's death when she was mourning the man she loved, he was concerned about her. She looked drained, both physically and emotionally. In fact in many ways she resembled how Lee had been when he saw him in his office just days ago.

"Boom, boom, boom." She whispered, turning back towards the office door so he couldn't see the tears welling in her eyes.

The smile completely left his face as he saw her struggle to open the door. He could see the tension in her shoulders that so mirrored that he saw in his son so often over the last few weeks. He wondered, not for the first time, if he'd made the right decision in accepting Lee's transfer request. While it was probably just what Lee needed to get away from the stress the last few months had placed on him, it appeared to have had a detrimental affect on the woman in front of him. He just wished the two of them would sort things out between them.

She'd finally managed to open the door and walked into the office, sitting down at her desk, pulling open the drawer of the desk and taking a bottle of Ambrosia from within its depths. Grabbing two glasses from a shelf she filled both and passed one to Bill. The contents of hers were gone in a flash but she barely noticed the sting of the alcohol as it made its way down her throat.

He watched her as she refilled her glass and took another swig. "He'll be okay you know. You both will." She didn't say anything but sat contemplating her glass. "I'm sure things will be back to normal between the two of you shortly."

She rose from where she sat quickly and turned away from him. "Things will never be the way they were again. We're way past that." Her words were quiet and Bill had to struggle to hear what she was saying. His heart sank though as he took in her words and knew he was fighting an uphill battle.

He rose from his seat and walked up behind her. He tried not to notice the flinch as he placed his arm around her shoulder. She turned towards him and he pulled her into his arms, again desperately trying not to notice her pull away from his slightly for an instant. Her body began to shake as she finally gave into the tears that had been threatening ever since the Raptor had departed for Pegasus.

Eventually the shaking stopped and she pulled away from him, a look of embarrassment washing over her face. "Believe me, Kara. You'll be fine, both of you will. If I thought Lee wouldn't be fine, I never would've let him leave this ship. And you'll be a great CAG. If I didn't think you could do the job I wouldn't have given you the position." Her lips curved slightly, barely, as she took in his words. "There was another reason for me coming to see you." She raised an eyebrow in query. He reached into his pocket and pulled out a small box. "I wanted to give you these." He opened the box and pushed it towards her. "I think these are more than a little overdue given your service to the fleet. I think its time you were promoted to the rank of Captain."

She took the box from him and ran a finger over the pins held within them. "Thank you, sir. These mean a lot to me as does being made CAG. I'll try my best to ensure I live up to the trust you've placed in me."

"I know you will, Kara. I never doubted for a second that you would."

TBC

A/N2: So here's the drill... Lots of reviews will get me to post the next chapter much quicker! Yes I'm back to the bribery :-)


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary - This story is very dark and will contain violence and scenes that may be difficult reading. **

**Set after Kara returns from Caprica – oh and she never met Sam (yay!)**

**A/N: A relatively short chapter which doesn't do much apart from move the story on a little. No Kara/Lee interaction I'm afraid, although there are some different character pairings in this chapter. And yes, I guess there's a bit of a cliffhanger as well.  
**

**Chapter 18.**

The ride over to Pegasus was relatively short and Karl watched Lee for the duration of the trip. He'd seen the look of surprise on his face as he'd entered the Raptor and knew that Lee hadn't been told he was transferring as well. However, Lee didn't seem to be bothered by his presence, so Karl was a little relieved. He was apprehensive about what was doing and he didn't want there to be tension between him and Lee as well as everything else. He was fairly sure their presence on Pegasus was going to be tense enough without added animosity between the two of them. He noticed that Lee seemed a little down when he first stepped in the Raptor and wondered why that was; although he suspected it had something to do with Kara. Most things seemed to revolve around Kara as far as Lee was concerned these days. Lee was quiet for the entire trip over and Karl also kept quiet as he processed his thoughts.

As the Raptor touched down on the deck of Pegasus, Lee looked over to Karl and gave a tense smile. "Sorry you had to be dragged into this with me, Helo." He reached down and picked up his bag and helmet. "I didn't realize my dad was going to lumber you with a transfer as well. I'd have been happy coming over here on my own. He didn't need to send you as well."

"You know why he did though, don't you?"

"I have an idea."

"He's worried about you, Apollo. We all are."

"Sure you are." A bitterness edged into his voice.

"We're worried about both you and Kara." Lee looked at him sharply as he mentioned her name. "Neither of you have been acting right since you returned from Kobol. Your dad wanted me here so that he knew you'd be okay. He wanted someone to keep an eye on you. So here I am."

Lee quickly changed the subject and Karl let him do so. "We'd better get out there, before they come looking for us." Hoisting his bag onto his shoulder, Lee moved towards the exit and then stepped from the Raptor onto the deck of Pegasus and looked around. It was different from Galactica that was for sure. The lines of the room were sleeker, less stark. The atmosphere was different as well. The crew seemed harsher; not as friendly as those on Galactica and Lee instantly began to wonder if it had really been a good idea to transfer to this crew. Now he'd managed to drag Karl along for the ride with him. Karl walked up beside him and also looked around the room. "Sure doesn't look like Galactica." Lee said quietly.

"You're right there." Karl couldn't help but agree.

The sound of footsteps reverberated around the room until they came to a stop before them. The man before them was a familiar face to Karl but Lee was unaware who he was having avoided most of Pegasus' crew since they'd appeared. The man was quick to make instructions. "Captain Adama, Lieutenant Agathon, I'm Captain Taylor, Pegasus CAG." He took a step closer towards both of them. "That means you answer to me." He turned to look directly at Lee. "There'll be no favors from Daddy or the President. You're now part of Pegasus crew and as such you'll behave accordingly."

"Yes sir." Both of the pilots answered. They grabbed their bags and moved behind him away from the deck. It wasn't long before they were shown to their new bunks. Both were slightly relieved to find they were at least in the same room. Lee by this stage was more than sure he'd made the wrong move coming over to Pegasus and the guilt of Karl being with him flared in his gut. He was now convinced his first impression of Pegasus had been correct.

Unfortunately he wasn't wrong in his assumptions. The following morning at their first briefing with the Pegasus pilots, both Lee and Karl had made sure they were there early having experienced a tense evening the night before. They entered the room and took seats on the second row of the room. It felt strange to Lee not to be standing at the front of the room as he'd done for so many months. Karl and Lee watched the pilots as they entered the room. It was more than noticeable they were being ignored by all. That was until Captain Cole Taylor entered the room, then Lee wished for nothing more than to be ignored.

As soon as the CAG started the briefing, Lee Adama became the focus of it. Or more to the point the fact he was Commander Adama's son. It seemed Captain Cole Taylor took great pride in putting Lee down for several minutes and Lee just had to sit there and take it. Oh, he wanted to react but that was what Taylor wanted him to do and he wasn't going to give him the satisfaction of doing so.

That's not to say he wasn't relieved when the briefing finally moved onto their assignments for the day. Although it appeared he hadn't escaped quite as easily as he was relegated to Raptor duty rather than flying CAP. In fact he was ferrying supplies to some ships within the fleet. Karl was also given the same task, although he managed to get to go back to Galactica for his trip. An assignment Lee almost wished he had.

****

Lee walked to the hangar deck with a heavy heart, knowing he was going to be given these shuttle runs for several weeks to come yet. Everyone seemed to be under the impression he wanted to be back on Galactica. In actuality the reverse had been true when he'd requested this transfer… what had he been thinking? Now even his joy for flying had pretty much been removed but he wasn't going to show his disappointment.

Several hours later he was beginning to realize he'd underestimated just how liberating it would be just to be able to fly, even if it wasn't a Viper. He'd so far been to three ships and had been made to feel more than welcome by all of the crews which made a nice change. He was now heading towards Cloud Nine to deliver more supplies and he was looking forward to spending some time relaxing in the artificial environment on the ship. It may be pretend but it would sure feel nice to take off his shoes and socks and feel the grass beneath his feet.

He was right, it did feel good. It also felt good to stand there in the sunshine; even if it was fake. It was something he'd missed from being on a battlestar. He'd been lucky enough, before the war to get a chance to go back to Caprica and see his mother. Then he'd been able to enjoy the real thing and that was the last time he'd been able to. He certainly hadn't had the opportunity to when they'd been on Kobol. So now here he was standing on the grass on Cloud Nine and thoroughly enjoying it.

He thought back to the last time he'd had time off on this ship. It was the day before Colonial Day. He was with Kara and they'd ended up having a water fight. Actually that wasn't quite right; in reality it had been more a case of Kara soaking him with freezing cold water and him trying to retaliate and failing miserably. He couldn't remember a time when they'd both laughed quite so much. Even thinking about it now brought a smile to his face. He realized this was the first time he'd been able to think of Kara in any way other than with anger. Maybe transferring to Pegasus had been a good idea after all.

He went to go and get something to eat and ended up in one of the many bars on the ship. He sat at the bar and waited for his food to turn up; ordering a drink while he waited. The barmaid put his drink before him and looked at him with a smile on her face. He looked at her properly for the first time since entering the room. She was blonde and pretty. In a way she reminded him of an old girlfriend of his from when he was based on Caprica. Another thing from his past that brought Lee a lot of bad memories. "Hi." He smiled as he spoke to her and handed her the cubits for his drink. She smiled back at him and sent a wink in his direction as she took the money, moving back down the bar to serve another customer. She was back soon as she brought him his plate of food, which looked a hell of a lot nicer than anything he'd eaten recently.

"Enjoy your food." She said, another smile gracing her face.

He discovered her name was Shevon over the next hour or so. During a lull in customers he found out she had a young daughter. He could tell the woman doted on her daughter and it was fairly obvious she'd had to involve herself in some dubious activities in order to just survive and to give her daughter some comforts in life. He also was more than aware that if he asked he could get some 'comfort' from the barmaid; but that was something he wasn't interested in. He seriously thought about it for several minutes but it just wasn't for him. Apart from anything else the last thing he needed in his life at the moment was another complication. He finished his drink and left some cubits on the bar; it was time to go back to Pegasus. He couldn't quite bring himself to call it home; not yet anyway.

The flight back to Pegasus was done with a sense of foreboding. Something was niggling at the back of the consciousness; he wasn't sure what it was but he seemed to have this innate knowledge there was going to be an occurrence in the future that would have a great impact on him. Hopefully he'd be able to cope with it and rise to the challenge he'd no doubt face.

****

Kara felt little better the day after Lee and Karl had the left. Her additional responsibilities were already weighing heavy on her shoulders. Also trying to cope with the loss of Karl and Lee from Galactica, Kara felt quite isolated. The other pilots seemed to be avoiding her and for the first time since she'd returned from Kobol she didn't feel she was welcome at any table in the Mess or the Rec room.

She wasn't sure if she was just being paranoid but it seemed, to her anyway, that every time she entered a room a silence fell over it which instantly disappeared once she turned and left. She was missing the presence of both Karl and Lee intensely. Karl had always had a stabilizing effect on her and his conversations with her in the last week or so had helped her greatly. It seemed almost ironic she was missing Lee so desperately but she was. Even though she'd hardly spoken to him since leaving Sickbay all those weeks ago the fact he was no longer on the same ship as her and she couldn't see him whenever she wanted was affecting her deeply.

She was sitting in her, _his_, office idly looking at the stack of reports she should really be reading and signing off. She'd just finished her shift and was feeling restless and discomforted. She thought for a second about going to see the Commander, but knew he'd probably be busy and wouldn't have time to see her.

Realizing she needed to get out her office for a while as she'd been cooped up in it for the last few hours, she walked out of the hatch and started off down the corridor, going with no particular destination in mind. She walked quickly past the mess and the Rec room and even past the pilot's quarters. She turned into a corridor just past the Head when she suddenly knew where she was going to go.

She opened the door to the room and entered it. Its occupant looked up as she walked in. Kara could see the look of surprise on her face. "Hi."

"Starbuck." She paused, obviously unsure of what to say. "I thought I'd be the last person you'd want to see."

Kara smiled. "Turns out I don't have that many options these days." Her smile softened her words slightly. "How are you, Sharon?"

"I'm as good as can be expected, seeing as I've barely left this room since I got released from the prison cell. The only time I get to leave is when I have to go to Sickbay for a check-up."

"How is the baby?"

"Doing okay as far as Cottle can tell… although I guess we're all on a bit of a learning curve."

Kara changed the subject quickly before she was forced to talk about Sharon and Helo's baby. Babies were something Kara had no interest in or knowledge of. "I wanted to check to see if you were okay. I suppose you won't get to see Karl as much now he's over on Pegasus? You must be missing him."

"He's hoping to get back over here to see me as much as he can." She stared at Kara, thoughtfully. "Are you okay? You seem a bit down."

Another change of subject as Kara thought of what she'd been wondering for a while. "Do you know what all the Sharon models are doing at any one time?" She saw the confusion on the Cylon's face. "Is there some sort of connection between you all? Are you aware of all the other Boomer Cylon's when you're sitting here?"

Sharon was quiet for a few seconds before responding to Kara's questions. "No. I only get 'updated' I guess you'd call it, after I download. Even then it's only with information from other number eights who've downloaded since the last time I did. Does that make sense?"

"Kind of."

"Why did you want to know?"

"No reason." It was a lie and the two sat staring at each other for several minutes. It was Kara that eventually broke the silence. "So you don't know what happened when Lee and I were on Kobol?" Sharon shook her head. "Good."

More silence filled the room. "I can guess it wasn't nice. Six and Leoben tend to be more extreme than some of the other models. I should imagine they put you and Lee through hell." Kara looked at her but soon her eyes drifted to the floor. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"Not really." Was the quick response as Kara shook her head.

"How's Lee been coping with it all?" Again Kara's eyes flew to meet those of the Cylon. "What? You seem pretty cut up by whatever happened. I'm assuming he's pretty much the same. He seemed pretty upset after you were rescued when he saw me. I understand, I mean, he must've been pretty shocked to see me there. Boomer shot his dad after all."

"I haven't really been speaking to him since we came back from Kobol. Not in a good way anyway. We argued once. It was bad. We both said things that were really hurtful."

"Karl did mention something about a disagreement between the two of you before he went, but he didn't go into details."

"A disagreement would be an understatement. I wish I could apologize for the way I spoke to him that day but I left it too late." She hung her head as she came to a startling realization. "I didn't even say goodbye to him before he left for Pegasus. I miss him. I miss it all, even fighting with him."

"I'm sure he knows how you feel. He must feel the same way you do."

"How can you say that? You barely know him Sharon. He's changed a lot since this war began. And a lot more since we got back from Kobol. He's not the same person Boomer knew." She swallowed and took a deep breath. "Anyway, I'm pretty certain he can't stand the sight of me. Why do you think he was so desperate to get off Galactica?"

"Maybe he just needed some space." Sharon said, not realizing how close to the truth she actually was.

"Yeah but Pegasus? I don't suppose Karl's told you the rumors circulating about what happened to them when the war first began?" Sharon's eyebrow rose in query. "Let's just say, Admiral Cain's got a different approach to things from Commander Adama."

"In what way?" There was a hint of concern edging into her voice.

"Apparently they came across some civilian ships in the exodus from Scorpia. Instead of helping them and taking them with them. They ransacked them for spare parts and additional personnel and what was remaining was left behind."

"Will they be okay over there?" Sharon definitely had worry in her voice now and Kara felt a little guilty for putting it there.

That hadn't been her intention when she'd come here. She truly just wanted to talk to someone. She'd been close to Sharon, the other Sharon, before the attack and as she'd said, albeit jokingly, there weren't many other options open to her. "I'm sure they'll be fine, Sharon. Don't worry about Karl. At least the two of them are together." She rose to her feet. "Anyway I'd better be going, it appears paperwork doesn't do itself unfortunately. I'll come and see you in a couple of days, if that's okay?"

"I'd like that Kara."

Kara left the room and walked back to her office, feeling better than she had since their Raptor had departed. Who'd have thought she'd be able to open up to anyone never mind a Cylon?

****

The days passed, gradually turning into weeks and Lee and Karl settled a little into life on Pegasus. They both knew they'd rather be on Galactica but there were benefits to being where they currently were. For Karl, he was just grateful Sharon had been removed from the brig on Galactica and he was able to see her much more freely than when they first got back from Caprica. For Lee, things were a little different. While he wasn't particularly enjoying his new life he knew it was the best thing for him to get away from Kara and the tension that entailed. So while life wasn't actually pleasant, it was more bearable and for that he could deal with it.

****

As Pegasus CAG, Cole Taylor ran a tight squadron. He was firm with all of his pilots but the two who transferred from Galactica he treated especially hard. Admiral Cain had given him the records of the two pilots and he was now reading them, making notes about their achievements and more notably their failures. He read that Karl 'Helo' Agathon had been based on Galactica for about four years which he'd joined shortly after leaving the Academy. He'd been stranded on Caprica during the Cylon attack and had been instrumental in bringing the Cylon prisoner currently located on Galactica back with him when he returned with Lieutenant Thrace. 'At least there's some hope for him.' He thought as he noticed an additional comment recently added to the Lieutenants file. 'A girlfriend, well, that's interesting and good to know. I'm sure he'll want to go over to Galactica as much as he possibly can.' He smirked as he set that file aside and took up the other one.

This was the one that interested him much more. Leland Joseph Adama, son of Commander Adama, Commanding Officer of Galactica. There was a lot less information that had been passed over from Galactica about its prestigious former CAG than there had been in the other file. Unknown to the Galactica officers, Admiral Cain had been interested in the pilot for a while and had requisitioned a copy of his file from the Fleet when they were docked at the Scorpion Fleet Shipyards. He wasn't sure why she'd asked for it but the end result was he now had two files on Lee Adama in front of him and they were making interesting reading. There were several commendations within his file, each one making the smirk fall from his face just a little more. 'He really is a regular little hero.' He thought with disgust. As he went back to the earlier details of his file, he saw a note about the death of his brother and circumstances surrounding it. He then got back as far as his time at the Academy and saw the records of years there studying to be a Viper pilot. "He would just have to be that good, wouldn't he?" he muttered as he saw the SIM scores recorded, not wanting to admit he knew Lee was a better pilot than he was, not even to himself. It was during his time at the Academy that Cole found a couple of black marks against him; a couple of citations for being drunk and one for an involvement in a fight at a bar. Nothing too serious but definitely something that caught his attention.

Things were changing on Pegasus and Cole Taylor was determined to remain in control of the situation. The last thing he needed was some hotshot pilot turning up and ruining things for him. He needed to get in there first and make sure Lee Adama knew exactly where he stood in the scheme of things now he was on Pegasus. Lee Adama was in for trouble; he just didn't know it yet.

TBC

A/N2: Please review. While I got some lovely reviews for the last chapter, there weren't as many reviews in general as I was hoping there would be. I'd really like to get to 100 reviews before the end of this story and we're definitely in the final stretch now! Thanks


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary - This story is very dark and will contain violence and scenes that may be difficult reading. **

**Set after Kara returns from Caprica – oh and she never met Sam (yay!)**

**A/N: Cole Taylor has a plan... and its about to be revealed... he's a wicked man - but I'm sure he'll get his comeuppance.  
**

**Chapter 19.**

When he'd finished reading the file Cole Taylor noticed the time and knew a certain pilot would be returning from a Raptor run. He smiled maliciously as he'd thought of a way to bring the pilot down. He walked briskly down the corridor; nodding to some people he passed as he walked. He finally entered the hangar deck and could see the Raptor he was looking for being towed into place and moved towards it, keeping his eyes focused on the hatch on the side of it. He saw Captain Adama stepping down from the ship and talking to one of the deckhands quickly. As he was about to walk over towards him he was accosted by Laird, asking him questions about the flight schedule and performing Viper maintenance on some of the birds. Cole turned towards the man with a small sigh and answered his questions. It would have to wait till another time – but it was only a matter of time before he got what he wanted.

****

As Lee left his Raptor, finally finishing another monotonous shift he saw the CAG waiting for him and knew instantly he was in the doghouse once again. Obviously there was some other minor infraction he'd made which wasn't to the CAG's liking. Of course, pretty much everything he did these days pissed him off so it wasn't too much of a surprise. 'Time to face the music' he thought bitterly before turning to the deck hand at the bottom of the ramp. Lee spoke to him quickly about a gimbal that wasn't working the way it should be. He continued to walk away from the Raptor and hoped to make an exit from the room before the CAG caught up with him; the last thing he needed right now was to be taken down by him in front of everyone on the flight deck. He just wanted to take a shower and get some well earned sleep.

Fortunately the Gods must be smiling on him because Captain Taylor got called away by the deck chief. As his way was now clear, Lee made a hasty exit; quickly walking down the corridor back to the pilots' bunk room.

Lee had made it back to quarters without any further hindrance and was pleased to see they were practically deserted. He sighed in contentment and began to strip off his flight suit; longing again for nothing more than to get some well earned rest. First though he needed to have a shower and clean some of the grime and sweat from his body. He walked quickly to the head, hoping there too would be just as deserted. He was apparently having a lucky afternoon because it was just as empty.

He walked into a shower cubicle; turning on the water so it was nice and warm and then removed the remainder of his clothes. There was one good thing about being on Pegasus; there was no need for rationing of water for showers as Pegasus was able to recycle it much more efficiently than Galactica could ever hope to. Therefore he stood for several minutes just reveling in the warmth of the water as it cascaded over his skin. He closed his eyes and moved to stand directly under the flow. He ran his fingers through his hair and then massaged shampoo through it to clean it. Once done he then proceeded to wash the rest of his body and then stood under the water to rinse off and massage his aching muscles. Usually a shift in a Raptor would not leave him this drained, but he'd just pulled a double shift and that was his second one this week. The CAG really had it in for him.

Finally, feeling sleep begin to edge its way into his consciousness, he turned off the water and wrapped a towel around his body; eager to get to the relative warmth of his bed. He re-entered quarters and walked, with purpose, towards his bunk. Pulling on his underwear he then slipped into his bed and settled to get some sleep.

****

Cole Taylor sat at his desk, a smile on his face that he would have trouble hiding, should he have to. Today had turned out to be good after all. He'd thought it was all going to go horribly wrong but the last few minutes had made the previous few hours' frakked up events suddenly so much easier for him to deal with. The grin became wider as he recalled the conversation he'd only finished moments before.

****

Lee woke a couple of hours later as he was dragged from his bunk; pulled to the floor and shoved face first back on the mattress. Next thing he knew his arms were being yanked and tied to the bunk above so he was spread-eagled. He tried to look over his shoulders to see who it was but before he could make out anyone something was draped over his face.

He knew he was in serious trouble and began to panic as the situation set in. Hyperventilation was taking a firm hold as he was suddenly struck across the back with something very hard. He tried to concentrate on what was happening to him. He soon established it wasn't a fist that was hitting him but was unable to determine what it actually was.

****

Karl made his way down the corridor back to the hangar deck after visiting Sharon again. He was lucky he seemed to be getting a lot of Raptor runs to Galactica which suited him just fine. In the times he came over to the ship he was always able to find a quick half an hour or so to go and see her. Commander Adama appeared to have managed to put aside his feelings towards the Cylon and was willing to let him see her much more freely than he ever thought he'd be allowed to. He knew it was partly because he'd agreed to go over to Pegasus with Lee, but still he was glad he was able to get the additional time with her.

Unlike Lee, Karl was settling into Pegasus life relatively smoothly. However he was flying Raptors which was what he loved doing and Lee had been forced out of flying Vipers and into Raptors as well. Karl had noticed Lee seemed to be adjusting to the change but could tell he was missing flying his Viper intensely. The one thing Karl hadn't yet got used to was the atmosphere with the other pilots; it was fair to say they weren't being welcomed with open arms and although it wasn't pleasant for him it was even worse for Lee, he knew that.

****

Lee could feel the strain in his shoulder as he struggled against the restraints and knew he was in danger of seriously damaging it again. It reminded him so much of being back in that room in Kobol and he was trying hard to retain control of his emotions. The last thing he needed now was to let whoever was doing this to him think they'd broken him. The Leoben's hadn't managed to do it and there was no way some stupid pilots from Pegasus were going to either.

****

He was rounding the last bend before entering the flight deck when he heard someone calling his name behind him. He turned to face them and saw Kara walking towards him. For the first time since she'd returned from Kobol he saw a smile on her face and he matched it with one of his own.

"Lieutenant Agathon, trying to leave without saying hello to the CAG?" A definite smirk was on her face.

"I'm sorry Lieutenant Thrace, I wasn't sure if you were busy or not so I didn't want to disturb you. I'll make sure I don't make the same mistake next time." A smirk that matched hers was also present on his face.

She smiled even broader as she reached in her pocket and handed him a lollipop she'd found in the pilot's quarters after he'd left. "Actually it's Captain Thrace these days."

"Congratulations, sir." He smiled again as he popped the now open lollipop in his mouth. Little was said for a few seconds as he continued to suck on the sweet. Then he broke the silence, "Thanks for going to see Sharon the other day. You've seen her a couple of times since I went over to Pegasus."

"That's okay. It was good to talk to her. I like talking to her. She's been helping me see things more clearly. Get things in perspective." He smiled at her as he absorbed her words. It seemed Kara was finally dealing with things a little better. The silence had grown between them once more as he continued to move the sucker around his mouth. She finally broke the silence to Karl's relief. "How are things on Pegasus?" She eyed him steadily as she asked the question and Karl, who was already taken aback by her question, couldn't help but wonder if there was hidden meaning in her question.

"Not too bad – for me anyway. I think Captain Adama's having a slightly harder time of it, but nothing that's beyond our control." He saw the relief at his words pass over her face to shortly be replaced by a softer version of the usual look that had been present a lot of the last few weeks. He sighed quietly and then realizing the time knew he needed to get back to his Raptor. "I'm sorry, sir, I really need to get to the flight deck." Before he left he handed her the remainder of the lollipop she'd just given him; another grin forming on his face. "Thanks again, Kara."

Just as he was about to walk through the hatch she said one more thing. "Say hi to Lee for me." Karl said nothing only pausing briefly in recognition of her words before he continued to make his way through the doorway. She watched him go and then stuck the remnants of the sweet in her mouth and walked back to her office.

****

The frequency of the hits was increasing and Lee could tell fists were now being used as well and boots seemed to be joining in on the fun. A foot met with the back of a knee causing him to lose his footing and his shoulder to wrench as he did. He winced and prayed to Gods he wasn't sure he'd ever believed in that this would soon be over although how it would end he couldn't even begin to guess.

****

The flight back to Pegasus was soon over and as Karl stepped from the Raptor he felt the tension around him increase as it usually did when he stepped on board. Taking the paperwork from Galactica with him he now made the short trip to the CAG's office.

He knocked on the office door and waited to be asked to enter. Finally he heard the voice of Captain Taylor beckoning him into the room. He walked through the door and made his way over to his desk; drawing himself to attention before the man who made everyone's life so difficult.

"At ease, Lieutenant."

Karl relaxed his stance and looked at the man before him for the first time since entering his office. He couldn't help but notice the almost smug look on Taylor's face; causing a wave of apprehension to hit Karl full force. "I've brought the papers back over from Galactica that the Admiral required, sir."

"Good Lieutenant. I'll ensure she receives them shortly." Again the smirk was on his face. "Did you get to see your girlfriend while back on Galactica, Lieutenant?"

Karl felt like he'd been punched and was unable to form any words for several seconds. "Gir… girlfriend…, sir?"

"No need to be shy, Helo. It says in your file from Galactica that you have a girlfriend over there. You'll want to visit her often, I imagine." Karl could only blink at him; partially in confusion at the turn in conversation and partly because he had a vague suspicion of where it was heading. The CAG turned to look at him once more. "I'm sure I may be able to do something about that…" his statement drifted off towards the end leaving Karl in no doubt as to what he was insinuating. Karl still couldn't bring himself to say anything; knowing the only words he was tempted to say would get him a whole heap of trouble.

****

Lee was struggling to remain conscious as the punches and kicks continued. He could feel bruises forming on his body already and knew he'd be in a lot of pain tomorrow – should he get that far. The room was eerily quiet; the only real sound to be heard was the sound of skin on skin as it impacted on his body. The only other things Lee was aware of was the pull on his shoulder as his body moved in tandem with every hit and the sound of his heart echoing in his ears; as it beat a rapid tattoo against his chest.

****

He'd finally been dismissed from Cole's office and walked wearily down the corridors. Any joy felt earlier in the day, was now rapidly disappearing. His heart was heavy as he made his way back to quarters. The anger at the words the CAG had said to him was welling in his gut. He realized Commander Adama had been more than generous with the truth in the file that had been sent over from Galactica and for that he was grateful but the opportunity it'd just given to his superior officer to have some leverage over him was more than he could bear. The fury that had been building for at least the last half hour and maybe even since he returned from Caprica was now becoming almost uncontrollable. He paused as he was walking and turned, resting his head against the cold metallic wall; trying to retain control of the fraying emotions which were flowing through him.

****

Lee was at the point of giving in and letting them win when he realized there was a commotion happening behind him. Only dimly aware of his surroundings, there was little he could do but wait and hope that whatever it was wouldn't be a worse situation for him to be in.

The racket finally died down and Lee held his breath; waiting. The tension coursing through his veins didn't die down and he flinched reflexively when a hand was placed on his shoulder. He felt someone loosen the restraints on both his hands and lift the cover from his face; bright light from the room caused Lee to blink rapidly and then close his eyes. Gradually he opened them, allowing them to become accustomed to the harsh lighting and saw Karl peering down at him. "You okay?" was the simple and relatively unnecessary first thing Karl could think to ask.

Laughter bubbled from Lee's mouth at the insanity of the question; laughter which grew as the tension he'd been bottling up was gradually released from his body. Karl helped him up from where he'd fallen to the floor after his hands had been freed but he was forced to sit on his bunk as the strength he normally held was conspicuously absent. The tiredness he'd felt when he finished his CAP once more swept through him and he knew he should get some sleep. That being said there were many things he should do but he had little energy to do any of them.

Lee hung his head as reality hit him almost as hard as any of the punches he'd just received. They'd done the one thing the Cylons had been unable to do. They'd broken him. He stared at his hands, just inches from his face and couldn't help but notice the tremor that ran through them. They continued to shake and he fought to stop them, but failed again.

****

After Karl saw Lee laughing uncontrollably he'd stood and watched him sitting on the bunk. He'd known the question he'd asked had been completely unnecessary but was struggling to come to terms with what he'd faced when he'd walked into quarters. The last thing he'd expected to see was six pilots crowded around Lee's bunk. Then he'd heard sounds of punches as they came into contact with Lee's torso, arms and legs. So he'd dived in before he even thought about it. He pulled the nearest person to him away from Lee and pretty much threw him out of the room; the conversation with Cole Taylor only helping to spur him on as the words span around his head.

He stood to the side of Lee, watching him intently but after a couple of minutes as the adrenaline began to ebb from his body he sat on the bunk beside him. He noticed his hands were shaking and the sag that was evident in his shoulders. The man beside him was so different to the officer he'd known just a few months ago. He was damaged now and not just by events in this room. The attacks on the Colonies by the Cylons had led to a lot of pressure being foisted onto Lee's shoulders. He knew that until recently Lee'd been put in a tough position being pulled between the Commander and the President. Kobol had been a large element of what led to the shell of the man sitting beside him. Karl was also convinced Kara had more than most to do with it as well.

He sat beside Lee and remained silent. Little needed to be said and he knew the words would sound hollow if either of them spoke. He knew now that something had happened to both Lee and Kara on Kobol and was unsure how he could help the two of them. And they certainly needed help; probably more than even they realized. Although Kara seemed much better than when he'd been back on Galactica, he didn't think for a second that she'd begun to deal with anything. Karl just wasn't sure he was the person to be able to help them the best. He wanted to but neither of them were letting him help and in his heart he knew he wasn't close enough to get them through this.

****

Lee got up from the bed and began pacing around the room, nervous energy pouring from his body. Karl watched and almost laughed at the symmetry of the situation from when he'd been in this exact same position with Kara. Almost. In reality the situation from far from funny. Lee spun round and punched his locker with a resounding clang. The indention from his fist was still there as his hand fell back down to his side. Several minutes passed before he moved. He opened his beleaguered locker and started pulling clothes from inside. He pulled on some tanks and pants and then pulled a hooded top from within as well. Only wincing slightly as he pulled it onto his shoulders and then did the zip up. He still couldn't turn round to face Karl, who he knew was looking at him. He could feel the weight of his gaze boring into the back of his head. If he looked at him he knew he'd tell him; everything; all of it; the whole shebang. In the end though it was something he couldn't face doing.

Inactivity was pushing his nerves to the edge and he resumed pacing around the room. The room was too small though and he quickly walked through the hatch, making his way down the corridors, ignoring Karl's voice as it echoed behind him. He wandered for a while, not really sure where he was going. He kept his head down and avoided making eye contact with anyone he ran into. He found himself outside the brig they were keeping the Cylon prisoner in and stopped. He looked at the door for several minutes before he made a decision. He moved towards the entrance, only pausing slightly as the doors opened quietly. Taking a deep breath he walked into the room and towards the glass cell.

He wasn't sure why he was doing this now but he suddenly felt the need to face one of the Cylons who'd held him on Kobol. Okay it may not be the actual one; apparently she'd long been killed and had probably regenerated into a new body but it was one of the same model's and he needed to face her.

He'd never been to this part of the ship since he'd come aboard but he knew there were two marines stationed outside the cell. Marines that were seemingly not present at the moment. It was then his eyes were drawn to the fact the cell was open and there was no one in it. Lee made his way back out of the room and walked to the nearest comms handset that was down the corridor. "CIC, Adama. I've just been to the brig and have discovered the Cylon prisoner isn't in her cell." Moments after his words the claxons began to ring around the ship. The person at the other end of the line spoke briefly and then Lee put the handset down, a stunned look on his face.

TBC

A/N2: So the end is nearly here... just a few more chapters to go. Somehow I ended up with even less reviews for the last chapter. :-( so please review this one.

A/N3: I should also point out (confirm) that I do apparently have a bit of a thing for Lee in the shower... can't possibly think why!


	20. Chapter 20

**Summary - This story is very dark and will contain violence and scenes that may be difficult reading. **

**Set after Kara returns from Caprica – oh and she never met Sam (yay!)**

**A/N: This chapter really pushes Lee to him limits... and I hope I manage to get the interaction between Lee and Kara okay.  
**

**Chapter 20.**

The mood on the hangar deck was somber as the officers gathered. It was definitely much more downbeat than it had been last time they'd been gathered like this. Now they were assembling for the funeral of Admiral Helena Cain. The pilots from Pegasus were lining one side of the room facing their Galactica counterparts. Lee Adama was standing rigidly at attention, facing his father who stood next to Laura Roslin but focusing on a spot above his father's head. He'd noticed both of them looking at his hand which was now bandaged properly and he was unable to meet either of their faces; looking anywhere else other than that spot above his dad's head would mean looking at HER and he couldn't bring himself to do that either. He was more than aware she was in the room and could feel her eyes looking at him but he refused to meet her gaze. Seeing her today would just bring back too many painful memories for both of them. Another reason he couldn't meet his father's gaze as well.

Commander Jack Fisk walked to the podium a few feet from the coffin and the room fell silent. Fisk cleared his throat and looked at the Pegasus pilots to his right. "I knew Helena Cain for many years and had the pleasure of serving with her for the last five. She may have appeared to many to be a hard taskmaster but everything she did was for the benefit of the Twelve Colonies. Every action was carefully thought out. She was a master tactician that wasn't averse to making the difficult decisions. She faced things. She looked them right in the eye and she didn't flinch. After everything that happened during the initial attack; she did what needed to be done. I think that in times to come it will be said we were safer with her than we are without her. The only good thing is she died knowing her ship and crew was safe and her mission had been accomplished. Nothing was more important to her than her ship, her crew and her mission. And as I take command of Pegasus I pledge to uphold the values that made her such an effective and heroic leader."

Jack Fisk moved from where he'd been standing and resumed his original position beside Lee. Elosha stepped forward from where she'd been standing and took the recently emptied place behind the podium. "With heavy hearts we lift up this body to you, oh Lords of Kobol in the knowledge that you will take from it the burdens and give her life eternal. We also pray you will look upon on us now with mercy and love just as you did our forefathers many years ago. Just as you led the twelve tribes to Kobol, so now we hope and pray you will continue to lead us to our new home of Earth so we may begin life anew. So say we all."

"So say we all," rang around the room as the rest of the room echoed her last sentence. Six of Pegasus pilots moved forward and flanked the coffin adorned with a flag from Tauron draped over the top of it. As one the pilots turned to face the coffin and lifted it to waist height. Another pilot moved towards the head of the coffin and reverently folded the flag thereby removing it from the coffin. She stepped back and spun to face her new commanding officer and passed the flag to him, then brought herself to attention before him. The six pilots lifted the casket up onto their shoulders and walked slowly towards the awaiting airlock. Once in the correct position, they slowly lowered it to the floor and then moved back to their original spots.

With a nod from Admiral Adama, Lieutenant Hoshi pressed a button and the door to the airlock slowly closed. Commander Fisk then also nodded towards Hoshi, giving the go ahead to release the coffin out into space. All people within the room watched as the external doors opened and its contents were sucked out of the room. For several minutes after there was silence in the room as if waiting for some signal it was okay to speak. The quiet was broken by the doors to the airlock being opened once more to the hangar deck.

Once the silence broke, all people present started to drift out of the room. Lee was one of the first to leave, suddenly eager to get back to his quarters. Truth be told, anywhere was better than being here, at the moment anyway. Kara watched him leave the room and she felt guilty. Guilty about the fact she'd killed his brother. Guilty for the way she'd been treating him since Kobol and guilty for the fact she couldn't tell him how she really felt. Once he'd gone, she left the room almost as quickly, needing to get away from people. She needed time to think.

****

She boarded a Raptor across the hangar deck and took the quick trip back to Galactica where she walked down the corridor back to the CAG's office. She still hadn't got used to thinking of it as her office yet… as far as she was concerned it was still Lee's office, of course he now had a much swankier office over on Pegasus.

The last couple of days had truly been overwhelming for the whole fleet. Firstly Admiral Cain had been murdered by the escaped Cylon prisoner from Pegasus. There'd been a search to try and locate the culprit. Every part of the ship was ransacked and there'd been no clue to her whereabouts at all. Shortly after the deck chief contacted CIC to report a missing Raptor. It appeared the former prisoner had managed to evade all security and get off Pegasus.

Confusion reigned for quite a while and then another big shock was discovered. The Cylon hadn't been alone in her departure. She'd taken her own prisoner as she fled the ship. The prisoner was Captain Cole Taylor. The President therefore instigated a fleet-wide search for the missing Raptor, Cylon and Pegasus CAG. Another predominantly fruitless search as it turned out. A search that was still continuing as each ship in the fleet was painstakingly explored from top to bottom. The Raptor had been discovered on Cloud Nine but any sign of either of its passengers was lost. They hadn't given up though.

As the most senior officer within Pegasus crew, and at the behest of the newly promoted Admiral Adama and President Roslin, Lee was made CAG; at least on a temporary basis until Cole Taylor was located. Not something she was overly sure Commander Fisk was really happy with. She was unsure about how he was fitting into his new crew and suddenly being made CAG probably wouldn't help his acceptance. She'd watched him closely during the funeral; having not really had much involvement with the late Admiral; and she was worried about him. She'd seen the bags under his eyes and the worry lines that were beginning to mar his face. She also noticed Karl watching him intently as well.

She shook her head wearily as she realized she was thinking about him again. It was becoming a regular occurrence and not one she was sure she really wanted to relinquish. At the same time, she wasn't prepared to linger on these thoughts too long as they still had the capacity to upset her and more often than not made her think of events which were still too painful for her to cope with.

However a stray thought made its way back into her head as she remembered seeing the bandage on his hand with slight bruises visible on the knuckles. Banishing that thought she turned her attention to the mountain of paperwork continuing to build on her desk. She pulled a file from the top of the pile but discarded it when the phone rang. "Thrace."

"Captain Thrace, Admiral Adama is requesting your presence at a meeting tomorrow morning on Colonial One. Both he and the President would like to discuss the current situation with the senior staff from Galactica and Pegasus." Gaeta passed on the message.

"Thanks for letting me know, Lieutenant Gaeta. What time does the meeting start?"

"0900 hours, sir. Although the Admiral would like a quick chat with you at 0800 before you both leave for Colonial One."

Kara nodded and then ended the call. Picking up the file she'd been about to look at she started to read its contents, making notes in the margin as she did so. It took a full twenty minutes before the impact of the conversation with Felix set in. Lee would be at the meeting. They'd be forced to spend time with each other; and in the presence of their commanding officers. Suddenly Kara felt more tired than she had since Lee and Karl had left Galactica.

****

Lee was sitting at his desk, except it wasn't really his desk. He felt like an intruder and he knew this would be the last place his predecessor would want him to be. It was the first time he'd entered the room since they'd discovered Taylor was missing. He'd been avoiding it ever since his promotion but he now had no choice but to look at some of the paperwork that seemed to appear with ever increasing speed. It was even more amazing considering the fact all anyone had been doing for the last couple of days was search the ship from top to bottom.

It looked as if the desk was exactly as Cole had left it, just two days earlier. There was even a pen still lying on the desk. He picked it up and spun it slowly in his fingers as he continued to look at the remnants of what Cole had been doing. Something caught his eye and he pulled it towards him to have a closer look. It was a sheet from his file. He knew his father had sent the file they had on him over to Pegasus when he transferred. This wasn't from that file. This was from his time at the Academy. That alone meant there was another file about him on this ship.

He looked in the pile he'd just pulled the paper from and sure enough, there was his file. His complete military life in one small cardboard folder; well, two if you counted the one from Galactica. He started to wonder why that particular sheet was separated from his file. It was one of his few citations; although admittedly the one he'd got into most trouble about.

Thinking about it now brought a smile to his face but at the time he'd really thought it could have been the end of the military career as he knew it at that stage. That being said, there was little about the whole occurrence he regretted. It all started with Kara, as did most things throughout the time he'd known her. They'd both been in their first year at the Academy and it was nearly exam time. Kara managed to convince him and a few of their friends to go to a bar to relax and unwind after a couple of tiring weeks before the final hard slog. They'd been in a bar when a fight had broken out. One of the assailants had pushed Kara to the floor and Lee had leapt to her assistance and had lashed out. It was one punch but the man had gone down. Lee had been arrested and he'd spent three days in hack which meant he'd missed the chance to go back to Caprica and see his mum and Zak for a long weekend before the exams started.

Kara had been arrested as well as she'd thrown a punch at the same guy seconds after Lee had. The fact she was there was the only good thing Lee found from the whole experience. He'd spent three days locked in the cell next to hers. It was in these three days their friendship had really grown. They'd spoken to each other about things they'd never really opened up to each other about before; their hopes and dreams, their pasts and their families. While they'd been in most of the same classes and obvious rivals in the SIM exercises, they hadn't really spent a great deal of time with each other. That changed during those three days. Lee discovered his fascination with Kara Thrace. Those three days were when it all began. And there'd been no going back after. He'd always hoped she'd felt the same way about him, but it never seemed to be that way, and although he wouldn't admit it, he didn't want to risk losing her friendship. Their friendship had grown during that short time and became very strong and it only improved further as the months passed.

He forced himself to stop thinking of times gone by with a shake of his head and he placed the sheet from his file back in the right place. With interest he now looked at the rest of the paperwork that had been left lying around. Further down the pile were the files from Galactica for him and Karl, his was obviously much thinner than Karl's, having spent only the last few months on the ship in comparison with the four years Helo had been there. There were other sheets of paper and he scanned each one quickly as he leafed through them.

It was another sheet that took breath away. There in writing, plain as day, were words Lee was stunned to see. Instructions to one of pilots. Authorization. He was now aware of another one of the people responsible for the attack on him. He knew the pilot, had flown with him on one of his many shuttle runs and he had seen him hanging around with a few other pilots that he knew would be more than happy to involve themselves. Karl had been able to identify another one and had told Lee just a day ago. Lee was fairly sure he was another one this pilot hung around with as well.

Lee's heart clenched as he crumpled the paper within his hand. He couldn't help but wonder what he'd done to deserve the hatred from Captain Cole Taylor. The man had taken an instant dislike to him and it couldn't just be down to the fact he was an Adama. An icy chill wove its way through his body as he realized he wasn't bothered at all by the fact the CAG had been taken by the former Cylon prisoner. He knew he should feel remorse about his lack of feeling about it but he just couldn't bring himself to do so. In fact he couldn't help feeling a little sorry for the Cylon.

****

The man was a frakking idiot! A frakking stubborn frakking idiot! These were the thoughts spinning around her head as she made her way to the briefing room back on Galactica. There she was about to meet a team of marines who would be assisting her in the mission. A mission that would be working in conjunction with their counterparts on Pegasus. Which brought her back to thoughts about the frakking idiot she'd previously been thinking about; one called Lee Adama. A pompous frakking idiot who should really know better. He seemed to have developed a death wish and if he wasn't careful she'd be the one doing the killing.

She thought back to the last couple of hours as she continued to walk down the corridor. Her day had started with breakfast in the Admiral's quarters where they discussed the upcoming meeting on Colonial One. Then there'd been the short Raptor journey over to attend the meeting. Her eyes had been drawn to Lee as soon as she'd entered the room but he blanked her completely. At the time she was disappointed but now she could do nothing but wish that remained the case.

She broke from her thoughts as she entered the briefing room and gave the details of the mission to the marines gathered waiting for her. In only a few minutes they left the room and made their way to the hangar deck. As she changed into the protective gear they needed for the mission she carried on thinking about earlier that day.

****

The meeting had started relatively smoothly as the officers present discussed their situation with the President. It was just over thirty minutes into the meeting that the atmosphere of the meeting, but predominantly between the two CAGs changed. The phone in the President's office rang and she picked up the handset. The call was from Galactica and she quickly passed it to Admiral Adama.

He was quiet for several minutes and then ended the call, replacing the handset. He turned to face the rest of the office. "The Cylon's been located but she's barricaded herself in a storage room on the Picon Princess. From witness reports it appears she has Captain Cole Taylor with her." He turned to look at both Lee and Kara. "I want you both to take teams of marines over there and assess the situation. I want that Cylon captured and our officer recovered."

Lee spoke up. "Admiral, there's no need for Galactica to assist in this; we're more than capable of resolving the matter." Kara's eye's widened at the open attack on the Admiral's commands.

"You have your orders, Captain." Adama's words were terse and he placed an emphasis on his son's rank as he spoke. Both Lee and Kara came to attention before their Commanders and then quickly left the room, making their way back to the Raptor.

The atmosphere between the two of them was tense. This was the first time they'd really been alone together since they'd returned from Kobol and it was hardly under ideal circumstances. Lee was resolutely staring straight ahead from him as they walked side by side. Kara kept her pace in sync with his as they walked, subtly casting sideways glances at him from time to time. They walked onto the hangar deck of Colonial One and towards the waiting Raptor. Both stepped on the ramp of the Raptor at the same time and paused. Lee finally looked at Kara and stared into her eyes; as if he was waiting for her to do something. She stared at him too and wondered exactly how long they would stand this way. A full minute passed before Kara finally backed down and stepped down from the ramp.

As she watched him turn and continue to walk up the ramp her anger towards him increased. She followed him into the Raptor, nodding at Karl, who was sitting at the controls, as she sat down. She looked once more at Lee but he was avoiding her gaze again as he fiddled with the cuff of his dress uniform sleeve. She stared out of the front of the Raptor as they exited Colonial One. Karl made a right and flew towards Pegasus. Kara sighed.

"Something you want to say Captain?" Lee said.

"Nothing at all, Captain." A statement they both knew was a lie. She had plenty to say but now wasn't the time. They had something that needed their full attention and causing an even bigger rift between the two of them than there already was wouldn't achieve that. So she sat there silently fuming and praying to the Gods that he didn't call her on it.

The Gods were not feeling that benevolent however. "What's your problem, Captain Thrace?" he asked; the venom evident in his tone.

She'd come to expect nothing less of Lee these days but it still made her wonder why he had to be this way with her. She knew she deserved it for the way she'd treated him but she'd hoped things would be different. "Like I said, Captain, its nothing. Nothing that can't wait till after we've done what we've been ordered to do." She hoped that would put an end to the conversation but Lee seemed to now be out to prove something. She wasn't sure what but it seemed she was about to find out.

The conversation flew backwards and forwards between them as Karl sat in the pilot's seat, wincing as each barb was met with a responding one. The tension was increasing as was the volume of their voices. Karl had never been more pleased to see Pegasus looming before him. After he'd settled the Raptor down on the hangar deck he turned in his chair and saw the two of them had now risen to their feet and were almost toe to toe. He cleared his throat and was relieved when it appeared to remove some of the tension from the confined space. Both the CAGs stepped back from each other and Lee slapped the door release.

"See you in two hours, Captain." Before she could say anything in reply he'd moved down the ramp and was walking across the hangar deck.

"Let's get to Galactica, Helo. I've got a mission to get ready for." She asked quickly before she changed her mind to follow Lee through the labyrinth of corridors.

****

She'd arrived back on Galactica just forty minutes ago and she was now boarding another Raptor that was this time destined for the Picon Princess. The ride over to the ship was relatively short and before she knew it she was walking onto the loading area of the ship which was doubling up as a hangar deck for their Raptors. She noticed the Raptor from Pegasus was already present and another sigh slipped past her lips.

She took the lead and made her way down the corridors. Several members of the crew were around and they pointed them the way they needed to go. As she came to a junction in the corridor they needed no further direction as she heard raised voices in the distance and she stopped momentarily to listen to what was being said. She could hear Lee's voice and instinctively knew it was raised in anger but then that wasn't anything new these days, she thought with dismay.

She drew her weapon and gestured to the marines behind her as she moved towards Lee's voice. Soon enough they'd arrived upon a scene of chaos. A couple of the Pegasus' marines appeared to be doing something to the doorway that was at the far end of the room. Another group of marines were clustered at the near side of room, building some sort of barricade. Lee was standing in the middle, talking loudly through the door.

Kara saw Helo standing at the edge of the room and walked over to him. "What's happening? I thought the plan was to meet and make our way here as one team?"

Karl looked uncomfortable as he glanced sideways at Kara. "Captain Adama changed the plan. He didn't want the Cylon to escape."

"He couldn't wait a couple of minutes?" There was accusation in her voice and she realized she was directing it at completely the wrong person. She looked towards the focal point of their conversation and could see the tension in his body even though he was facing away from her. She listened briefly to what he was saying before turning back to Karl. "Is he getting anywhere with her?"

Karl's eyes looked past her shoulder to glance at Lee. "No." There was suddenly some action from the marines near the door as they walked quickly back towards the rest of them. "They're going to blast their way into the room and try to get her under control."

"He really thinks that's going to work?" Disbelief was written all over her face.

There wasn't chance for him to respond as the ship shook when the door exploded. Smoke converged in the room and debris from the blast swirled before finally settling on the floor. Lee was now standing beside them and he turned to face the open doorway; a look of determination on his face. He pulled his sidearm from its holster and then started to move slowly towards it.

"Where do you think you're going, Lee?" Kara hissed at him, forgetting any semblance of rank as panic began to take hold. He was beyond control and she was worried, once more, he was going to get himself killed.

He barely looked at her before he continued his previous course. "To complete my mission, Captain."

She stepped forward, raising her gun in symmetry with his. "Our mission, Captain, was to assess the situation, not blow the frakking ship to pieces. Something I'd have thought you'd remember, seeing as you were at the same meeting as me when we got the orders."

"Scared, Starbuck?" He questioned, trying to bait her once more.

Kara was unable to avoid the hook he left dangling before her and bit back. "Hardly Apollo. Not of anything here anyway. Facing the President and Admiral after frakking up this mission however, would be another thing entirely."

"I don't see us frakking this mission up, so nothing for you to be worried about is there?"

"Oh, I don't know… I'd be worried, if I was you," said a voice from the far side of the room. Both Lee and Kara turned towards it, to see the Cylon emerging from the room, her left arm hooked around the neck of Cole Taylor, her right hand brandishing a weapon which was pointed directly at both of them. "Drop your weapons." They continued to stare at her. "Now!"

Both of them reluctantly dropped their guns. A look of disgust was written over Kara's face; while Lee's still showed the determination it'd been wearing earlier. The marines from both ships raised their weapons, aiming at the Cylon; a click-clack was heard as the safeties were removed by each of them. "Maybe it should be you who should be worried." Lee said.

The Cylon spoke to the marines, rather than to Lee and Kara. "Put down your weapons or your beloved Starbuck and Apollo will be dead before you can even get a shot off."

Kara rolled her eyes at her words and flicked her glance to Karl. With a minute shake of her head she hoped she'd managed to convey what she wanted her team to do. The Galactica marines began to lower their weapons and then Lee spoke out. "Nobody move." He turned his attention to the escapee. "This won't end the way you want it to so you may as well give up now."

She laughed and looked at him intently. "What a disappointment. I'd have thought you'd want your CAG back, Captain Adama."

"That just proves how little you know me, doesn't it? I can't think of anything I'd want less." Kara couldn't help but hear the murmur of the marines from Pegasus as they heard Lee's words. She was also fairly certain the Cylon heard as well. This was confirmed by her next comment.

"It seems now everyone here is under that impression. I think maybe they prefer their old CAG rather than the current one they seem to have inherited. Maybe they'd agree with me on other matters as well."

Kara couldn't stand there any longer listening to the two of them argue back and forth. She grabbed Lee's arm and wrenched him towards the edge of the room. He immediately began to struggle so she pulled him even harder, hoping to unbalance him slightly. She turned her back to the Cylon so she could talk quietly to Lee and hopefully away from the prying ears of their target. Again she looked at Karl again and he immediately understood what she needed him to do, for which she was very relieved.

He started to talk to the marines near him, creating enough noise that Kara could talk to Lee without being heard. "Lee, what the frak are you doing?"

"My job."

"Like frak you are. All you're doing is pissing off your own team of marines."

"Don't start, Kara."

"I'm not starting anything. It's you that's doing that. I'm just trying to stop it. Start thinking Lee, for frak's sake. At the rate you're going your own team will kill you and save the Cylon the trouble."

"I don't need any help from you, Captain Thrace."

"The Admiral, the President, and your Commander all wanted us to work together. Maybe it's time we gave that a try?"

Lee backed away from her, his face suddenly looking even harder than it had previously. He turned to a nearby marine and relinquished him of his weapon. Spinning round to face the Cylon he raised him arm and fired a shot before anyone could stop him. Kara stared at him in disbelief while the rest of the room watched the Cylon and her prisoner collapsed to the floor.

Blood began to seep from the bullet wound on the Cylon's forehead. Marines from Lee's team rushed forward to move her body and check on Cole Taylor. They lifted him and began the short journey back to their Raptor. Lee followed them, the determination back on his face along with the tension in his arms and body.

Galactica's marines also began to move back to the hangar deck, following the other team. A couple of them retrieved the body of the Cylon to take back to Galactica. Kara stood rooted to the spot as she watched Lee leave the room; her eyes fixed on the back of his neck, knowing he could probably feel the weight of her stare but he chose to ignore her completely. She heard Karl come to stand beside her. "Well that was interesting." His words were joking but the meaning was anything but. Kara rolled her eyes but didn't say anything. Truth was she didn't know what to say. Neither of them could believe the way Lee'd just behaved. This was nothing like the officer they were used to dealing with. He'd become unpredictable and dangerous. Who knew what could happen in the future? How far would he be willing to go?

TBC

A/N2: I've been fortunate enough to have only had to go to one funeral so I've based the opening scene on bits of canon and other shows with military funerals in them. I hope I managed to do it justice. There's one scene in this chapter I was a little disappointed with (the end of the scene anyway) but couldn't work out how to fix it so just went with it.

A/N3: Please review. You know you want to. Next time... a long chapter and we may see a resolution to some of the angst!


	21. Chapter 21

**Summary - This story is very dark and will contain violence and scenes that may be difficult reading. **

**Set after Kara returns from Caprica – oh and she never met Sam (yay!)**

**A/N: It's finally time for Kara and Lee to face up to the events on Kobol. This chapter is a little different, the main scene will be seen from each person's perspective and how they're feeling. Each telling will also give you different insights to the scene and then there's an additional scene at the end to release the tension a little. Enjoy...  
**

**Chapter 21.**

Bill sat looking at the two of them, taking in what he'd just been told. This meeting had been a long time coming, but now he was sitting here and wishing he hadn't pushed for it to happen today. He'd thought getting the two of them together and finding out what'd happened down on Kobol would help the two of them and give him some idea just what the problem between them was. Looking at them now though, he thought that was a mistake. He could see them almost unraveling before his eyes and his heart clenched as the words he'd just heard came back to him. If only he could reverse time so he didn't know what he now did; the only thing was how far would he go back? What happened to them on that planet was more than anyone should have to go through. The thought it'd happened to the people in front him made his stomach churn. Why them? Not that he'd wish it on anyone else either but the two of them were his children and he just wanted to keep them safe; which was a silly notion really given the current conditions they were living in.

He thought back just a few hours when things had seemed so simple; before he knew what the Cylon's had done. He'd been sitting at his desk reading a report from Major Cottle on the dead Cylon brought back from the Picon Princess. He'd been interrupted from his reading by a knock at his door. "Come in." he'd said, not realizing what exactly he was unleashing with those two words. The door opened and Lieutenant Agathon stood in the entrance. He could tell from the expression on his face that he wasn't the bearer of good news. "How can I help you, Lieutenant?"

"Sir, I'm not sure how to say this really."

Concern grew within him. "Is this about Lee? Has something happened to him on Pegasus? No one's contacted me to inform me."

Helo looked at the floor and stood uneasily before the obviously worried father. "Nothing's happened to him on Pegasus as far as I'm aware, Admiral. But the reason I'm here does partly relate to him, sir. It relates to both him and Starbuck." He paused, collecting his thoughts and trying to work out how to mention his concerns about the pilots who also happened to be his friends. "I've spent some time with both of them since they were captured by the Cylons. I'm worried about them both. They're struggling with whatever it was that happened down there. Neither of them will open up about what they went through. They can't even talk to each other about it and there's barely a civil word between them when they have to speak while on duty." He paused and looked at the floor, anywhere rather than at the Admiral. "Something needs to be done, Sir. There was an incident this morning on the Princess; thing's very nearly turned out very differently." Karl paused and Bill could see the guilt written all over his face. It was a look that made his heart falter for a second. "Sir, if something isn't done… well I don't know what'd happen but I can guarantee it won't be good. If Lee's not careful he's going to get himself killed. I'm sorry to be so blunt, sir, but he's behaving erratically and I'm worried he'll get into a situation that can only end badly."

Bill had been ready to accept his words from shortly into his speech but by the end of his words he'd wanted; and needed; to keep his son away from everything and protect him from it all. However, he knew Lee would be anything but receptive to that concept. He sighed as he realized he was going to have to intervene. "I knew Lee was stressed before he left for Pegasus but I didn't know their issues were still affecting things this badly. I was hoping some time apart would improve things." Apart from that one incidence during the briefing to Admiral Cain he thought they'd managed to keep tension between them out of their responsibilities to the fleet. It now sounded as if it'd gone past that, so he'd have put an end to it, even though he knew he'd get no thanks for doing so. He lifted the wireless handset and asked CIC to request the presence of Captains Thrace and Adama in his office at 1400 hours. He put down the handset and turned to face Helo again. "I'll speak to them. I'm not sure it'll do any good, but I'll try anyway." He looked at his watch; it was more than an hour before they'd arrive. "You should get back to Pegasus and don't worry I won't tell them it was you who brought this to my attention." Helo nodded and left the room, relieved he'd at least tried to do something to help his two friends. He just hoped they never found out what he'd done.

Bill sat down and prepared himself for what was about to happen. He didn't know the details of what they'd been through… yet, but he knew he wouldn't like it. He remembered the conversation he'd had with Lee shortly after they'd been rescued from the Cylons. The words Lee had used still rang in his head. _'We've been through some things over the last few days that no one should have to go through.'_

He was so deep in contemplation he only broke from his thoughts when there was a knock on the door. He glanced at his watch again and was startled to realize it was almost 1400 hours. That meant the person at his door was either Kara or Lee. He wasn't sure which one he hoped was here first. He took a deep breath and took off his glasses. "Enter." The door opened and revealed his son, who came into the room hesitantly.

"You wanted to see me, Admiral?"

He looked at his son and saw he looked pale and the stress he was feeling was evident in the way he was standing. He could clearly see how accurate Karl had been and knew in his heart that this conversation was way overdue. "Yes I did, Lee. Please take a seat." Lee warily did as asked. "We're just waiting for someone else." A look of worry crossed his son's face but he said nothing else. It was only a couple more minutes before there was another knock at the door. Bill was unsure whether he was relieved she was finally here or worried about what it was he'd just set in motion. It was too late now though, there was no going back. "Come in."

"I was told you asked to see me…" Kara entered the room and stopped talking as she saw Lee already in the room. "Sorry, I didn't realize you were busy, I'll come back later."

"Sit down, Kara." The tone he used was enough to convince her she couldn't escape. He paused as she also reluctantly took a seat. Bill couldn't help but notice tension had suddenly made its appearance as the fourth occupant of the room. Certainly neither of them could bring themselves to look at him or each other. "I asked to see both you and Lee. I thought it was time we went through the details of the events on Kobol." Both of them looked at him sharply before swiftly resuming their previous positions, looking intently at the floor. Bill swallowed, taken aback by the heat in both their glares. 'Okay… so I'm going to have to tread carefully here. They obviously don't want to talk about this.' He needed to do something to try and break the tension. "Would either of you like a drink?" They both nodded so he poured the three of them a drink. After handing the two of them their glasses he went back to get his glass. Just as he was about to walk back to his chair he reached for the bottle, grabbing it to take with him. He seemed to think they'd need it.

The minutes stretched between the three of them as Bill watched them cherish the glasses they held. They were both still not looking at him. He knew this wouldn't be easy but he hadn't expected to get this much resistance. At least they appeared to be agreeing in this regard. He supposed he could count that as a small victory; a very small one. Once more he studied the two people before him. Lee had closed himself off completely and was refusing to look at anything other than the floor and Kara; well, she was swilling her glass and watching the contents slosh around. She wiped at her face and Bill pretended not to notice. He sat and watched them longer, waiting for one of them to break the silence. Kara's leg started to twitch, causing her glass to splash its contents with each jostle.

Kara suddenly stood and moved towards the door. "I can't do this. I can't be here." Bill knew he needed to do something, the situation was spiraling out of his control and he needed to rein it back in as soon as he could. It was time to roll the hard six. His son got in before he could open his mouth though. As Kara reached for the handle, Lee finally spoke and it was his words that caused her to stop.

"Running as usual, Kara." The words were stated with little feeling behind them.

The Admiral was unsure exactly how Lee could think this was going to do anything but make the situation worse. He quickly looked at the Captain who was trying so desperately to escape.

She'd spun around to face back into the room once more, "How can you say that? How dare you say that to me?" As she spoke she stalked over to him as he rose from the couch. They stood nose to nose, affecting a standoff between them. The tension in the room increased even further and Bill was concerned he was going to be forced to physically separate them and began to think that maybe having a couple of marines present would be a good idea.

Something caused the entire situation to change and Bill wasn't completely sure he was aware of what exactly happened. Lee reached for Kara pushing her hair away from her face. "You can't keep running from this Kara. Neither of us can. You need to talk about it. We need to tell dad what we went through; what they did." Bill watched as the walls between them started crumbling bit by bit. He saw Lee lean forward and say something to Kara, but he couldn't hear what was said; he just saw the initial effects of the words. He saw Kara nod slightly in response to what he'd said. Bill decided to give them a couple of minutes alone before he tried once more to get them to open up. He turned back to his desk to finish the report he'd been reading before Lieutenant Agathon had come to see him. By the time he returned back to his seat, the two of them were sitting back on the couch; this time though they were sitting closer than they'd been when they first sat down. He picked up his drink again and waited in silence for them to begin. While the atmosphere in the room was now slightly more relaxed than it'd been earlier, you could still cut the tension with a knife. After a couple more minutes of agonizing quiet the silence was eventually broken and their story began; and it blew the Admiral away. Once they'd started, he wished they'd never commenced down the path he'd forced them to start down and that he could go back to imagining what they were going to say; because whatever he'd thought it would be was nowhere near as bad as the actual truth.

What they told him made him angry and frustrated. So many of the things they'd been through were too painful for him to even contemplate. He now realized why they'd struggled so much over the past few months since Kobol and their subsequent eviction from sickbay. He knew why they'd almost torn themselves and each other apart. He just hoped that by telling him about it, it would enable the two of them to deal with it and maybe mend some bridges between the two of them at the same time.

****

Earlier that day…

Lee was still tense from the mission earlier that day when he received the call from Galactica about his impending meeting with the Admiral. He hadn't spoken to his father since the meeting first thing this morning, and he was worried about what he could expect and could feel tension heighten within him. He couldn't help but wonder what had prompted the sudden request. Had word spread about his actions on the Picon Princess? One thing he was certain of, his father was up to something, he just hoped he didn't live to regret going over to see him. Not that he had any real choice in the matter. He checked the time and knew he had some time before he needed to go to the hangar deck and get a Raptor to take him over to Galactica. It was during these few seconds the adrenaline rush from the mission faded away and his body began to succumb to events he'd faced. He looked around his office trying to find something to settle himself before he left but couldn't find anything that held his attention for more than a few seconds; he was just unable to relax as he continued to stress about what was waiting for him. He'd come to the realization since his return to Pegasus that he'd been reckless and was lucky to still be around to see his father. Just thinking about it again; along with the apprehension that had been building since the call just minutes earlier, was enough to send him into panic. He tried to take calming breaths as he felt it swell in his chest but was completely unsuccessful. He sank to his knees on the floor with a hand to his chest as oxygen became a real issue. His eyes began to blur as panic took hold and his lungs fought for every molecule of oxygen it could find.

For close to two minutes he was unaware of is surroundings as he pretty much blacked out and when he came to he felt the weakest he had since he'd left Kobol. He'd somehow managed to gain some calm within him and he dragged himself off the floor, slowly rising to unsteady feet. He leaned heavily on a nearby chair and breathed deeply as his head began to mercifully stop spinning. Glancing at the time he knew he needed to leave if he was going to get to Galactica in time, so he left his office and slowly made his way to the hangar deck.

The ride to Galactica took less time than he'd thought; although he was still too caught up in the myriad of emotions coursing through his mind to be able to enjoy it. They landed on the hangar deck of a place he'd once called home and on a good day still would. Today however was anything but a good day and it currently felt about as much like home as it had the first time he'd arrived on this ship; just before the Decommissioning Ceremony. The crew was as welcoming as they always were but Lee ignored them the same as he'd done the first time he was here. He simply wasn't capable of maintaining small talk with anyone. He walked along the familiar corridors towards CIC and his father's quarters.

He paused as he reached the doorway, nodding at the marines stationed in the corridor outside. Another deep breath was taken before he made himself knock on the door; waiting until hearing his father's response and gaining access. "You wanted to see me, Admiral." He stared at his father as he was offered a seat. The old man was up to something, Lee just needed to work out what it was. He didn't have to wait that long to be given a clue as the mention of another person attending the meeting was brought up. Nothing he'd thought since this started prepared him for the person who entered the room just minutes later though. Kara. He'd completely underestimated his father once again. Immediately he felt the pressure of her presence in the room.

She obviously wasn't expecting to see anyone there other than his father; most certainly not him anyway. She looked as shocked as he was when she saw him in the room and he saw her glance towards the door; as if considering an escape. Something Lee was also seriously contemplating.

His father beckoned her to sit as well and Lee couldn't help but notice that she sat as far from him as she physically could; not that he expected anything less from her. To be honest, he knew he hadn't behaved well over the last few weeks and he couldn't see anything improving the situation between the two of them as a result of this meeting. He knew the Admiral also wouldn't fail to notice the tension between them and Lee had a fairly strong feeling they were about to be called on it. He wasn't wrong. His father had been talking to Kara since she'd entered the room but Lee only really caught his last sentence.

"I thought it was time we went through the details of the events on Kobol."

Lee looked at his father in surprise and knew Kara would be doing the same thing. He was sure neither of them had anticipated this would be what they'd been called to this room for. Once Kara had appeared he was convinced it was about this morning. Kobol was the last thing Lee wanted to discuss and he was fairly sure Kara felt exactly the same. They may not have agreed about much in recent weeks but this was one thing he was sure they would.

Lee eagerly accepted the drink that was offered to him as it gave him the opportunity to put off the conversation just a little more. It wasn't much of a delaying tactic but it worked for him at the moment. He was also relieved to see the bottle being brought over to where they were sitting as well. Lee looked at the drink in his hand, deep in thought as memories of the events his father was so interested in were suddenly clamoring for attention. He was very aware of Kara sitting just as tensely as he was at the other end of the couch from him. He was unable to look at anything other than his glass though; he just wanted to leave the room and never have to face this discussion.

Lee thought he saw movement out of the corner of his eye from Kara but was so locked up in his thoughts it didn't really register. He was dimly aware of the sound of Kara tapping her foot as she sat, also deep in thought. Suddenly she rose to her feet and headed towards the door. She obviously was as desperate as Lee was to leave the room.

"I can't do this. I can't be here." She murmured as she reached for the handle and Lee knew he had to stop her. While he didn't want either of them in this situation; forced to relive some of the worst moments of their lives, he knew his father wouldn't let them off the hook for much longer. This meeting was an example of that. So Kara leaving now was something he couldn't let happen. He was pragmatic enough to realize they needed to talk about this and maybe if they did, it would make things easier for both of them. He could only hope so anyway. He wasn't sure he could think about a future where things were worse for him.

He was more than aware the only way to get Kara to stay in this room would be to draw her into an argument, which given the current state of their relationship, shouldn't be too difficult for Lee to achieve. He knew how to press her buttons just as much as she did his and once he'd thought of what to say, he said it with as little feeling behind the words as he could, knowing that would only help his cause. "Running as usual, Kara."

It had the desired effect as she span round to face him. Before he could prepare himself any further for the onslaught, she was right in front of him, having moved from the hatch to inches from him with elegance only she could muster. Ire was flashing from her eyes with as much force as the accusation in the words she spat in his face. "How can you say that? How dare you say that to me?" Even a Cylon wouldn't fail to feel the tension in the room increasing as the minutes passed.

Lee knew he needed to diffuse the situation as quickly as he'd created it. He just needed to be careful he didn't end up being on the receiving end of a fist. He tentatively reached for the ever present strand of hair that always seemed to hang in her face and tenderly moved it away. She stared at him, almost frozen to the spot, which Lee was exceedingly grateful about. "You can't keep running from this Kara. Neither of us can. You need to talk about it. We need to tell dad what we went through; what they did." For a second he didn't think he'd got through to her but he saw tears well in her eyes as the reality of the situation finally set in. Lee leant forward, hoping he wasn't taking his life in his hands, and moved his mouth towards her ear. "We'll get through this together, Kara, just like we did on Kobol. We need to get past what they did." He paused slightly as the urge to kiss her threatened to overwhelm him. He fought down the feeling and took a deep breath before he continued to quietly speak to her; his words barely a murmur. "I'm sorry for the way I've behaved since we got back. I never meant to hurt you; I just couldn't deal with everything we'd been through. I think we need to do this now though; and I'll be there for you all the way. Can you do this for me? For us?" He pulled back and met her eyes. In those few seconds he felt more like himself than he had for weeks and he knew this was long overdue. She held his gaze for a while before having to look at something else. Eventually she gave a tiny nod and then reached for his hand; giving it a small squeeze as their fingers entwined.

Lee had almost forgotten his father was in the room and looked to his right as he remembered just in time before he got swept up in the emotions swirling between him and Kara. He saw the elder man was across the other side of the room, sitting at his desk reading paperwork. Seeing he was otherwise distracted, Lee gave in to the temptation he'd been feeling for the last few minutes and kissed Kara. To his relief she responded with as much emotion. It was only a short kiss but it lifted Lee's spirits and gave him hope that just maybe they'd be able to work things out.

As his father made his way back to his seat, the two of them were sitting side by side, facing the challenge, head on and together. It took the two of them some time to mentally prepare themselves for what they were about to tell the man before them. Lee knew that at the moment his father was totally unaware of what they'd been subjected to. He knew they'd been through something bad and the Cylons had been the cause of their pain but he simply had no idea just how bad it was and now the two of them were going to shatter that illusion. What they were about to say wasn't pretty and it could possibly have bigger implications on the Fleet's actions than any of them in the room could possibly realize as Lee was sure it would change the way his father treated the Cylons in the future. Knowing he was going to have to be the one to start the process, Lee was the first to speak and he watched his father's face as their story unfolded. He saw the shock on his face, which was followed by anger and then dismay. Lee knew just how he was feeling, having gone through the same range of emotions since everything had started. For the first time though he now felt relief, relief they'd finally been able to share the story with someone else. He wondered how Kara was feeling; if it was the same as him. He glanced at her quickly and could see she was rapidly losing control. He placed his arm around her and she relaxed a little against him. Her head fell on his shoulder and he could feel the tell-tale shake of her body against his, confirming to him just how emotional she was. He looked towards his father, hoping he'd understand what he was trying to communicate without making him vocalize it.

Fortunately William Adama appeared to be more in sync with his son than he'd ever been before and gave Lee a small nod. Bill rose to his feet and made his way out of the room, making sure the marines stationed outside left with him. Lee breathed a sigh of relief and then turned his attention once more to the woman held in his arms.

****

Earlier that day…

As soon as she'd returned to Galactica she'd elected to take over from Kat in CAP. She needed to let off some steam and the best way she knew how to do that was to get in a Viper and fly. That had been several hours ago and as she landed her Viper and climbed down from her ship, she was tired but feeling much better. Today had been the first time she'd truly enjoyed being in a Viper in several weeks. It had felt good to be able to get away from everything, all the responsibilities of being CAG; responsibilities she was beginning to resent. It felt good to not have to deal with anyone from the mission earlier and more than anything it gave her an opportunity to not have to think about the situation with Lee. He was beginning to worry her more and more. Every time she saw him, he just made her concern increase and this morning had been downright scary. He was acting so out of character for him and she had no idea how she could help him, not that he would want any help from her. She did her post flight check and handed the clipboard to a nearby deckhand and then started to make her way back to her office. Unfortunately she still had a lot of paperwork to attend to, including a report on the fiasco from earlier.

As she walked away from her Viper she saw Galen Tyrol walking in her direction, "Chief," she said as she nodded at him.

He smiled and then turned towards her. "Captain, CIC called and asked for you to report to Admiral Adama's quarters as soon as you could."

"Thanks Chief." She carried on her exit and made a quick stop in the bunkroom before heading for a shower. She doubted the Admiral would wish to see her when she was all hot and sweaty after CAP. 'At least I don't have to do the paperwork for a while longer', she thought with a smile. Barely twenty minutes later she was making her way towards the Admiral's quarters, completely unaware of what was waiting for her there.

She'd hardly thought about what the meeting could be about but soon had an inkling to its purpose when she entered the room and the first thing she saw was Lee sitting on the other side of the room, looking as uncomfortable as she now felt. She tried, unsuccessfully, to leave the last place on the ship she currently wanted to be but found herself being forced to enter the room further, taking a seat on the couch Lee was also sitting on; making sure she was as far away from him as she could possibly be. She glanced at him out of the corner of her eye, seeing the tension in his body; tension she knew was mirrored in hers. She looked at him closer and noticed how tired he looked; she could see the strain around his eyes and knew she probably looked much the same as he did. Both of them were suffering from events several hours earlier and from probably even longer ago.

She was shaken from her thoughts by the Admiral speaking, "I thought it was time we went through the details of the events on Kobol."

You could hear a pin drop in the room after he spoke. Kara was sure her shock was written all over her face and she momentarily forgot to breathe as a flashback of being in that room with Leoben flooded her memory. She was now even more certain she wanted to leave the room and get away from this as fast as she could. The offer of alcohol was gratefully accepted; after all, it was currently one of her best friends. However once she received the glass, she was unable to drink it; just the thought of alcohol made her stomach churn; add in the thoughts of Leoben swirling round her head and she was feeling quite nauseous. So she sat there, holding her glass in a vice-like grip. She felt edgier as the minutes passed and her leg started nervously twitching as her tension mounted. Finally the pressure became too much for her to bear. She got to her feet, putting the drink down on the table with such force the contents swished over the side; a resounding thud echoing in its wake as glass met the hard wood surface. As quick as she could she made her way to the exit, she reached for the handle as she reached the hatch, murmuring, "I can't do this. I can't be here." She sincerely hoped they'd both let her leave, but she knew in her heart neither of them would give in that easily.

No one said anything momentarily and then the last person she expected to talk to her spoke. "Running as usual, Kara."

His words hurt her and she reacted on instinct, stalking over to where he stood so only inches separated them. She couldn't believe he'd said that to her and she told him as much. She waited for him to say something; fuming as the seconds passed. She remembered a previous time they'd stood like this and how much he'd hurt her then. She wasn't going to let him hurt her this time.

He stunned her though by doing something she didn't think he'd ever do again. He reached for her, and for a second she thought he was going to caress her face; for a second or two more she hoped he would. She was wrong though. Instead he pushed a piece of her hair behind her ear. As his fingers brushed against her ear, she froze and looked at him, wide eyed.

"You can't keep running from this Kara. Neither of us can. You need to talk about it. We need to tell dad what we went through; what they did."

His words made her stomach flip-flop and tears began to form in her eyes. He leant forward and she thought he was going to kiss her. If he did she wasn't sure if she would hit him or kiss him back but was saved from having to make that decision as he spoke quietly into her ear. "We'll get through this together, Kara, just like we did on Kobol. We need to get past what they did." He paused and she continued to wait, knowing he wasn't finished. "I'm sorry for the way I've behaved since we got back. I never meant to hurt you; I just couldn't deal with everything we'd been through. I think we need to do this now though; and I'll be there for you all the way. Can you do this for me? For us?"

As he finished talking he pulled back and she met his eyes; holding his gaze for a long time. As she looked at him she mulled over his words, still shocked by the emotion she'd heard in his voice; something she'd not heard from him in such a long time. He was suddenly back to being the Lee she knew and loved and momentarily it made her forget the way he'd been with her the past few weeks. After a while she just had to look away, the intensity of his eyes becoming too much for her to continue to look at them. She continued to think about what he'd said and then gave him a small nod of agreement. She needed to touch him, she needed to believe the last few minutes were real, that she wasn't just imagining this so she reached for his hand, lacing her fingers through his, giving it a small squeeze as she did so.

The next thing she knew Lee was kissing her and she returned it with the same intensity he gave. It was only a short kiss but Kara knew it meant so much more than any words they could say.

Soon however, there was no more delaying. They had to tell the man Kara thought of as a father; the man who was Lee's father; just what the Cylons had done to them and she knew what they were going to say was the last thing he'd be expecting to hear. They both sat on the couch, Kara could feel him sitting close to her and she was reassured by his presence. She couldn't bring herself to start the story though and knew if she waited long enough Lee would begin it for them. He didn't disappoint her and once he'd begun she joined in, reluctantly reliving those few days on the surface of Kobol. She told the Admiral how they'd been captured by the Cylons and led back to the building they'd been found in. They both told how they'd been questioned separately and had been beaten when they failed to give them the information the Cylons so desired – the location of Earth.

Whey they finally got to the part of the tale Kara was dreading the most, Kara paused briefly, unable to continue. She felt Lee's presence beside her and it gave her the strength she needed to carry on, but she couldn't bring herself to look at the man sitting before her. She heard his intake of breath as she described what Leoben did to her and her eyes instinctively rose to meet his, innately relieved to find nothing other than sadness in their depths. After the brief glimpse which did a little to quell the emotions surging around her body, she lowered her eyes unable to look into them any longer. She knew if she did, tears would overwhelm her and the last thing she needed right now was to lose control.

Lee took over once more, going into detail about what the three Leoben's had done to him. She could tell he was as emotional as she was. They may not have been close to each other for the last few weeks but what she knew about Lee was more than most other people in the Fleet ever would; possibly even more than his father did. She winced as he got to the part where his body was cut repeatedly while they rained blows down on him, remembering how she'd felt as she'd been forced to watch.

Once they'd finished Kara realized how drained she felt. Tiredness swept through her and she sagged against Lee feeling his arm around her shoulder. Her body began to shake as the events of the last few hours finally became too much for her to deal with. She was aware of nothing for the next few minutes apart from the feel of Lee's arm around her; the smell of him that was so distinctive through his uniform, a smell that was so HIM she would recognize it anywhere. Suddenly she couldn't remember why she'd given all this up; she was quite obviously frakked in the head.

She realized now it was just the two of them in the room, although she'd failed to notice the Admiral leaving. She lifted her head from his shoulder and turned her face towards his. She could see hesitancy in his eyes and knew she was responsible for putting it there. She took a deep breath and rose to her feet, brushing her hands down the creases in her uniform as she did. The hesitancy was still there when she turned to face him, his blue eyes piercing hers. She held out her hand towards him, hoping he'd understand what she was trying to convey. He also rose to his feet, slipping his hand into hers. She moved towards the hatch, gently tugging on his hand as he initially failed to follow her.

****

The corridors were mercifully empty as they made their way down them. They ended up at the pilots' quarters which were also deserted. Once they entered the room, Kara turned once more to face Lee, pulling him closer to her. She rested her forehead on his chest, closing her eyes as she felt his arms wrap around her back. She felt at peace for the first time since Kobol and she didn't want to let that feeling go. "I can't do this anymore." She felt him tense as she said the words and winced, realizing she'd given him the wrong impression yet again. Raising her head she saw he was looking towards the hatch, probably planning his easiest route of escape. She moved her hand to cup his face, pulling it back to face her. "That's not what I meant, Lee." She continued to look at him, hoping he'd understand.

He didn't. "So, what did you mean?"

There was a bitterness in his tone that hit her hard, the new Lee was beginning to show through again. She bit her lip, trying to work out what she wanted to say; how to say it without it leading to another misunderstanding. She had to do this right; it was too important to her for her to frak it up. "I can't pretend anymore. I can't hide from how I feel; how I feel about you."

He stared at her, blinking several times. When he finally spoke it came out in barely a whisper. "How do you feel?"

She swallowed as she saw the intensity in his eyes. Her mouth was suddenly dry; gods she could do with a drink. Her hand was still on his face and she lowered it slightly so her thumb ran across his lips. "I love you."

He was silent for several seconds as he seemed to be processing what she'd said. He licked his lips, bringing his tongue in contact with her thumb. He pulled the tip of her thumb into his mouth, caressing the end of it further with his tongue. She pulled her hand from his face, only to place her mouth on his lips. It was only the second kiss they'd shared since they'd returned from Kobol and it had all the passion of any before.

Her fingers began to work on his jacket and soon it was slipping from his shoulders. His fingers were feathered through her hair as he continued to kiss her. Her hands then began to explore the defined muscles of his arms and shoulders, taking a step closer to him as she eventually wound her arms around his neck.

The need for oxygen finally became desperate and the kiss ended although they barely broke apart. Their lips were millimeters apart and they stared into each others eyes. They began to move, removing clothing that was suddenly so restrictive. Soon they were down to just their underwear and Lee finally spoke. "Shouldn't we lock the hatch?"

"I don't care. Let them see. They're going to have to get used to it." She kissed him again before he could say anything else. As they kissed they removed the last barriers between them; both physically and mentally.

Lee was stunned beyond belief by what she'd said. She wanted people to know about the two of them being together. To be honest he was still blown away by the fact there was a two of them to even think about. Soon though he became unable to think about anything other than the woman currently residing in his arms. He swept her up further into his arms so that her feet were lifted off the floor; enabling her to wrap her legs around his waist.

He lowered himself to the edge of her bunk; balancing her on his lap. He pulled her closer to him, feeling the soft skin of her rear held within his hands as he pressed her against him. He continued to kiss her, pressing his lips against her neck and shoulder. She gasped as he sucked hard on her skin. His name fell from her lips and he smiled against her skin. "I love you too, Kara," was finally said by Lee as he entered her. Holding his breath he felt her constricting around him and he raised his head to look at her face. Her mouth had dropped open and she was breathing deeply. Her eyes were closed but opened as he brought his hand up to her cheek. For several seconds they stared into each others eyes; communicating more in that small amount of time than they'd done in the previous few weeks.

They kissed once more and began to move as the kiss lengthened. Neither of them were in a rush; both eager to maintain this for as long as they could. It wasn't just sex to them; or a quick frak. What they were experiencing was so much more than that. It was almost as if they were trying to prove to each other just how much they felt.

Lee broke the kiss and moved his mouth slowly across her face, kissing each new part he met. She moaned slightly as he kissed a particularly sensitive spot so he ran his tongue over the spot again before going back to caressing it again with his lips. Then he blew tenderly on the same spot and she shivered, sighing as she did so. Their pace sped slightly as the pressure within them increased until they both reached their peak simultaneously and cried out.

As both calmed Lee pulled them both so they were now lying on Kara's bunk. Both were tired as the last few hours finally caught up with them and Kara snuggled into him as sleep gradually overwhelmed her. Lee was awake for several minutes more as he looked at her lying so innocently in his arms. He couldn't believe how the last few hours had changed things so drastically between them. If he'd known that the telling of those events would've led to this; he would have considered this as an option instead of the path he chose.

The temperature in the room was chilly and the last thing Lee did before succumbing to the tiredness he'd been fighting for the last few minutes was to pull a blanket over the two of them and pulling her closer to him; causing her to smile in her sleep. This was the last thing Lee saw before he also closed his eyes and slept.

TBC

A/N2: Hope you liked it. Please let me know. Just an epilogue to tie up loose ends to go.


	22. Epilogue

**Summary - This story is very dark and will contain violence and scenes that may be difficult reading. **

**Set after Kara returns from Caprica – oh and she never met Sam (yay!)**

**A/N: So here we are - the final chapter of this story. I hope you think this resolves all of the outstanding issues. Enjoy!  
**

**Epilogue.**

It had been several hours since Karl had been on Galactica but he'd just caught a shuttle back over. Surprisingly he was being allowed to spend the night with Sharon and he was eager to get to the quarters she'd been given. Even more prevalent in his mind though was the fact he was keen to avoid Kara and Lee if he could help it. He knew the Admiral would've spoken to them both by now and he could only hope neither of them knew he was the one responsible for that happening. He knew the discussion with the Admiral was long overdue but still it was him that forced the issue and Lee and Kara would more than likely not be thanking him for his interference.

He walked through the ship making his way from the hangar deck but slowed down as he got to the corridor where senior pilots' quarters were situated. He saw a small group of pilots standing outside the room, clearly gossiping and laughing about something. Interest piqued, he went to investigate. He walked up to them, a smile on his face. "What's going on?"

Kat and Hotdog smiled at one another, a look of mischief sweeping across both their faces. "What makes you think there's anything going on?" Racetrack, the third pilot present, asked.

"Maybe it's the fact you're all acting like you're ten years old." He stared at them, wondering what he was missing. "So, how come you're all hanging around out here?"

"The room's a little busy at the moment." Was all Kat would say, a huge smirk on her face.

Helo turned towards the door and looked at it closer. He shook his head; he hadn't missed the presence of any boots. 'What are they talking about?' he asked himself. He turned back around to face them, the look of puzzlement clearly written all over his face.

"Have a look for yourself." Hotdog said; a rather disturbing leer on his face.

Karl sighed and walked over to the hatch. He quietly turned the handle and the door silently swung open. He stepped through the entrance into the pilot's quarters and saw a sight he never thought he'd see again. There before him was Kara and Lee spooned together in her bunk. Both of them had peaceful looks on their faces and he could swear there was a small smile on Kara's. There was scattered clothing over the floor and he bent to pick up the stray bits of uniform, dumping them on an unused bunk. He took a step back and tripped over something on the floor. He looked down and found a boot belonging to one of the bunk's occupants. He bent down and picked up the item and then moved to place it in front of her bunk. As he cast a shadow over them Lee stirred and pulled Kara further into his arms and placed a tender kiss to her temple.

Karl stared at the two of them in contemplation and then moved back out of the room. He came face to face with Kat, Racetrack and Hotdog; who were all grinning like idiots. Karl had been getting more annoyed with them since he'd first bumped into them. "Grow up. All of you. Start acting like the pilot's you're supposed to be and not the immature idiots I currently see."

"But it's Starbuck and Apollo…" Hotdog started.

"Just go to bed. Now. And for frak's sake, don't wake them. Just let them be." Karl almost said more but knew better than to speak to any of the three before him about Lee and Kara. He pushed past them and continued to walk down the corridor towards Sharon's quarters. He was glad for his two friends and pleased they finally appeared to have made some sort of resolution to the issues between them. Although knowing the two of them, they probably still had a long way to go. Nothing was that simple. Just as he made it to Sharon's room he had one more thought which brought a smile to his face. Maybe they wouldn't be as mad with him as he'd thought they would be.

****

Bill Adama returned to his room about an hour after he'd left it and had found the room empty. There didn't appear to be any damage to the room or blood visible so it seemed the two of them hadn't come to blows once he'd left. He only hoped they'd managed to resolve the difficulties between them.

He was now sitting on his couch with a glass of Ambrosia held in his hand. He was tired and he really ought to be going to bed as he had to be in CIC in just a few hours time. He kept telling himself this but it wasn't helping him sleep. All he could think about was what Lee and Kara had told him. Suddenly the tension he'd seen in Lee ever since he'd been released from sickbay made sense. He should have known. Lee was his son. Kara was all but his daughter. How could he have not known that something was wrong with them both?

He got to his feet, feeling restless. Maybe walking would tire him out. He was tempted to walk the length of the ship until he couldn't walk anymore but the last thing he wanted was to bump into someone. There was really only one person he wanted to talk to about this.

He walked over to the wall and picked up the handset. The line connected to CIC instantly. "Put me through on a secure channel to Colonial One. I need to speak to President Roslin." Minutes passed before the line buzzed briefly and then connected to the other ship.

"Admiral Adama, I wasn't expecting a call from you." Her voice sounded as tired as he felt.

"I know it's late. I'm sorry to disturb you. I couldn't sleep." He paused as he took a gulp of his drink. "Frak, that's not why I'm calling, I needed to talk to you."

"Is everything okay, Bill?"

Concern was in her voice and it reassured him somehow. "Laura, I spoke to Lee and Kara tonight. They told me what happened when they were on Kobol. They told me what the Cylons did." Tears welled in his eyes as the memories of what they'd said once more came to mind. "The Cylon's broke my children, Laura. The things they did were barbaric and they did them to my children." His voice faltered as he came to the end of the sentence. He put down his glass and wiped his hand across his face.

"How are they doing?" Her voice was quiet and he could hear the emotion in the words as she spoke.

"I don't know. I left them in my office. Lee wanted me to give them some time alone. So I did." He sighed loudly.

"What are you thinking, Bill." She paused, waiting for him to say something. "I know you, Bill. I can almost hear the cog's turning over here."

"I'm thinking I must be an awful father."

"Why would you be thinking that? I'm sure neither Lee or Kara think that."

"How could I not know something was wrong with them both? How could I not see it?"

"You knew, Bill. You may not have wanted to admit it, but you knew. Knowing and being able to do something to help them deal with it are two completely different things."

"I know. I feel like I've let them down somehow."

"Well you can stop thinking that right now. There was nothing you could have done any different. You were unconscious when they ended up on Kobol and as soon as you woke up you started trying to find them. What do you think you could have done any different?"

"I know. I know you're right but it doesn't make me feel much better."

"Maybe now they've talked about it, things will be better for the two of them."

"I hope so. Let's face it they can't get much worse." He was finally able to smile as he spoke and that reflected in his tone.

"I think you're understating that, Bill." Bill could hear the grin in her voice. "Now, go and get some sleep, Admiral. I'll speak to you again tomorrow."

"Night Laura. And thanks."

"No thanks necessary, Bill. You know that."

Bill put down the handset after the line disconnected and finished his drink. His body was beginning to give in to the tiredness that had been ebbing through his body for the last few minutes. Knowing he wasn't going to be awake much longer, he quickly made his way to his bunk and soon enough drifted to sleep.

****

Cole Taylor slowly opened his eyes. He'd woken up a couple of times since his return to Pegasus, but this was the first time he'd really been able to fully wake up. The drugs he'd been given had begun to wear off and he was almost at the point where he might have to ask for some more. On a previous waking moment, the doctor had filled in him in on his injuries – fractured arm, collarbone and skull and a torn tendon in his right leg. Given the strength of the female Cylon and the length of his imprisonment, he'd been extremely lucky.

He thought back to the last couple of days and a look of dismay was written all over his face. The Cylon had been quick to tell him about how she'd killed Admiral Cain and she'd somehow managed to learn about Lee Adama being made Pegasus' CAG in his absence. That thought alone had left a bitter taste in his mouth which he'd then had to stew about for the rest of his time with her. Lee frakking Adama – Fleet hero all over again. The guy could do no wrong… and it frakked him off so much.

He thought back to the last time he'd been on this ship. He'd thought things were taking a turn for the better; that he'd finally got one over on Captain Adama only to have everything ruined by an escaping prisoner. "Just my luck." He muttered.

His head was beginning to pound quite badly now and it was making it harder for him to think about anything at all. He struggled to think back to the standoff between the Cylon and the pilots from both battlestars. He did remember the heated words between the Cylon and Adama. He actually could understand where Lee was coming from when he said he wasn't that bothered about rescuing him. He had to admit if the situation had been reversed and Lee had done the things to him that Cole had, he would've felt exactly the same.

Nevertheless, Lee's aim had been dead on when he'd shot the Cylon and his back had been turned to the target just before he fired. Cole was man enough to know Lee was a great marksman and quite obviously a well respected CAG – even if the Pegasus pilots didn't realize it. It was coming to this conclusion that angered Cole more than anything now; despite everything he despised about the man, he was grateful to him for releasing him from his captivity. He ground his teeth as another stabbing pain shot through his head. He finally gave in and called for a nurse and asked for something to take it away. Within minutes of receiving the much welcome medication, Cole Taylor was asleep once more.

****

Lee woke several hours later to a slightly pounding head. He flexed an arm and it was then he realized he was alone. Bile rose from his stomach as betrayal swam around his body. He noticed the curtain on the bunk was now closed and he knew that wasn't the way it'd been left the night before. He still couldn't understand why Kara wasn't here with him now if she didn't have issues with everyone seeing them together. Why had she run? He couldn't believe she'd done this again. More importantly he couldn't believe he'd fallen for it. Again.

He rolled onto his back, staring at the bottom of the bunk above; the fingers of his right hand absently fingered the bandage still encompassing his left. Thoughts were spinning around his mind as he contemplated just what had led him to be in this situation. Every time he opened himself to her further, he was let down once more. The disappointment was more than he knew how to deal with.

****

Kara Thrace had a smile on her face. Today was a good day. She was making her way back along the corridor to her quarters and was eager to get to her destination; eager to get back to Lee. She hadn't wanted to leave him this morning but there was something she needed to do. Now, though she'd finished and could get back to him. Entering the room, she was pleased to see there wasn't anyone hanging around who'd try to talk to her. She pulled back the curtain to her bunk and quickly climbed into it, closing it once more behind her.

As soon as she'd shut the curtain she noticed Lee staring up at the bunk above. She looked at his face and her heart fell when she saw the impenetrable look that was present. "I thought you'd still be asleep." She said quietly.

He didn't say anything for quite a while and she let the silence grow between them. Eventually he broke the silence. "I thought you'd be here when I woke up so I guess we were both wrong."

"Lee, don't do this."

"Do what?"

"Pull away from me, from this." A hint of desperation was evident in her voice. Again he was silent. "I was gone less than an hour. I went to see your dad. I needed to see your dad." His eyes moved to look at her but silence remained. "We had another chat. About everything." She paused collecting her thoughts as the short conversation filtered back through her memory. "It felt good. He spoke to Commander Fisk while I was there."

Lee's eyebrow rose at her words. "About?" The word was much harsher than he intended. She looked down and a blush swept across her cheeks. Lee sat up, pulling her up his legs and into his lap, lifting her chin so her eyes met his. "About?" he said softly. Unable to leave the intensity of his eyes, she was unable to speak and she self-consciously bit her lip. "Kara…" His hand was still at her chin and he moved it so it now caressed her cheek before sweeping into her hair and pulling her face towards his. Their lips met and Kara was quick to deepen the kiss. Lee eventually ended it and whispered, "Please stop running away from me, Kara."

"I wasn't running away, Lee. I managed to get us a few days off; away from everything and everyone. I asked your dad to give us a chance to try this out. He took a little convincing. That's why it took so long." Lee stared at her. She took a deep breath. "He's going to speak to the President about relaxing the fraternization rules. Get her opinion and advice on the issue."

The look of shock was obvious on his face. "You were serious last night."

"Of course I was. I'm not taking this lightly, Lee. I want a relationship with you." She paused, taking in what he'd said. She pulled back from him slightly. "Are you sure this is what you want?" She moved further back down the bed, needing to give herself some breathing space if he said it wasn't. "I'd understand if it wasn't… I mean, we both know I'm not exactly the kind of girl you'd want to take home to meet your family…"

"Kara, my dad probably loves you more than he loves me." He smiled at her as he took her hand in both of his. "Do you really think I wouldn't want you because of what's happened to you?"

She looked at their hands and then looked him in the eyes. "Technically, you haven't actually answered the question."

"I love you Kara and yes, this is what I want. It's all I've ever wanted." He pulled her forward again so she was closer to him once more. She was now sitting on his knees rather than his feet. He leant back in his bunk and planted his feet on the mattress of her bed. His slight movement caused her to move further forward, losing balance slightly and falling down on him. He smiled up at her.

She wanted to smile at him but she knew she needed to discuss other things with him and she couldn't afford to be distracted from doing so. She took his injured hand in hers and ran her fingertips over the grazed knuckles that peeked out of the top of the bandage. "Lee, what's happened to you while you've been on Pegasus? You've changed and it's not just what we went through on Kobol. Talk to me, please."

He stared at her intently, fairly sure she didn't want to hear what he'd gone through in the weeks since he'd left Galactica. "I'm fine, Kara."

"That's just it, Lee. You're not fine. You really scared me yesterday." His eyes showed his shock at her admission. "I'll admit it; I was worried you were going to get yourself killed. At one point I was so angry I almost shot you myself. That's not you, Lee. You can't just pretend everything's going to be how it was a few months ago because I can tell you now, it won't be. We've both changed too much." There was almost a hint of desperation in her voice.

He was beginning to worry. Was this the beginning of the end? Was she pushing him away? "What are you saying, Kara?" He could barely string the sentence together he was so scared about what her response would be.

"I don't want things to be like they were. One thing the last few weeks have shown me is I can't go back to what I was before. I'm not that same person. I can't be her anymore. I don't want to be her anymore? Do you understand what I'm trying to say?" She looked at him and knew in an instant that he wasn't getting it. "I'm frakking this up so badly…" She took a deep breath and looked at him again, placing the palm of her hand on his cheek as she stared into his eyes. "Lee, if this is going to work between us, we need to be different to how we were before. If we aren't it'll never work; we need to talk to each other; not hit first and ask questions later and yes I know that was more me than you but I can't do that anymore. I want this to work more than I've ever wanted anything in my life but we're going to have to work at it and we need to do that from now. We need to tell each other the truth, not what we think the other wants to hear. I need to know what you happened over there, Lee."

He finally understood the point she was trying to make and knew he wasn't the only who'd changed. As she lay in his arms, he haltingly told her what had happened to him during his time on Pegasus and he saw the look of devastation on her face as he spoke, so he pulled her closer to him. After he'd finished, he was at a loss for what to say, more than anything he wanted to see that look gone from her face. He acted on instinct and pulled her face up towards his, kissing her softly on her lips.

"I'm sorry, Lee." She said softly as she pulled away from him a little.

"For what?" Again he was confused.

"For being the way I was after we got back from Kobol. I wanted to be with you so badly but it just seemed wrong then for some reason."

"But it's not wrong now?"

"No. What was wrong was me pushing you away. I felt like I didn't deserve you somehow. I thought you'd be better off without me. I was wrong on so many levels. You're all I need, Lee. Nothing else matters as much to me as this does. If people don't like it, then that's their problem."

"I'm glad you feel that way, Kara. I want exactly the same thing. I love you more than I've ever loved anyone."

"There are no take-backs, Lee."

His eyes had a glint to them and a smile appeared on his face. "No take-backs." He kissed her on the nose, before moving to her mouth once more. When the kiss eventually broke, his voice was little more than a whisper as he spoke to her again, "Lee Adama loves Kara Thrace."

She smiled at him tenderly, "I'm glad about that because Kara Thrace loves Lee Adama as well."

THE END

A/N2: Thanks to everyone who's reviewed this story (so far... hint hint!!). I found all of your comments really useful and the story wouldn't be what it is without it as it made me realise there were bits I needed to look at. I've got a couple more stories on the go - but it may take me a while before I start to post them. I'm even being really different (for me anyway) and trying a not too angsty one!


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